Flippin WANKER

[StercusAccidit]

DP has broken my mothers day present from DS2 in a wobbly about not being able to find a screwdriver to fit his xbox controller He had the bloody things modded and spent all morning moaning about them, then the button stuck on one so he asked about the screwdriver he had brought specially for them, i couldn't find it (had a mad tidy up the other day cos his mega fussy dad was coming) so he flipped out.

Fucking tosser pulled the fire surround off the wall as well, AND the gas fire which i will now have to replace because its a council house.
AND pulled a set of shelves off the wall breaking a very old clock and damaging some of my ornaments. WTF is wrong with these people???

I am ANGRY and UPSET about the present from DS...its the first thing i have ever had for mothers day that i didn't have to buy for myself.

He has said he will buy a new one but i said no as it wouldn't be the same.

I'm on the verge of tears as i'm writing this. What a nobber

Why do they always break MY things? My ExP was the same...None of his things got damaged ffs. I didn't trash HIS stuff when i found out he had cheated on me numerous times when i was PG and before as well.
Add to that (haven't left it till last as it isn't important because it IS) when he was chucking this wobbly DS was in his chair on the floor in the living room FFS anything could have hit him i am soooooooo angry what a twat

I feel like i have no one else to talk to posting on here is probably the wrong thing too

I thought he had changed. OBVIOUSLY NOT.

Thanks.
I don't know why i feel so rotten, like i'm splitting up a family..i felt this when i left the other bugger but luckily i DO know, having done this before, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Its pissed me off that i gave him the opportunity while bleating that he was capable of change. What a wake up call ffs.

Over a screwdriver...the way he reacted you would think i had walked up to him and said 'The baby might not be yours, i've been shagging you brother, best friend, the postman, and three other people whose names i don't know'

But over a sodding screwdriver.
I have sent him a link to an anger management course ... told him he can well afford it if he doesn't spend money on his car for a month, and until i know he's done it he can't see DS, even when he's with me. I don't want him in my home. I spent the weekend looking at him in disbelief but the definate shattering thing wasn't, funnily enough, the fact DS could have got hurt, i blanked that out.. the fact he broke my present and didn't give a shit.

I feel calmer and happier already just knowing i have made my mind up. My mum won't let me go back with him now anyway.

Thanks xx

Stercus he is an arse. You know he's an arse. So glad you're getting out and putting yourself and DS first.

You were never moaning about broken stuff, you were avoiding focusing on a violent outburst.

I hope it all gets better for you.
xx

KerryMumbles - thats a bit of a sweeping generalisation isnt it? My DH plays console games, and I happen to enjoy playing them together with him. Playing them does not make a bad DH.

However I want to wish SA good luck with the future and hope you met a good man

I stayed with 2 blokes who hit me, went back to one, and now I am with my husband I wonder what was going on in my head. (I know, but you know what I mean)

There are decent blokes out there who will only lay a finger on you in a loving way.

Be strong.

Stercus - I applaud you. You are one hell of a brave woman and I am so glad you have your mum around to help you too. You deserve so much better than the treatment you are getting and you have lots and lots of support on here too if you are worried about anyhitng / need advice on legal or money stuff etc.

I am also a hypocrite because I am still here. That is why I have not been back to my thread. I feel as though people will think I have ignored all their advice (which I haven't). Its just that he has been so much better, has admitted he is depressed and abnormally angry and has made another appointment at the docs to discuss this and get help. I have told him if he ever does that again I will be gone and I he knows I am deadly serious as he saw I had been looking at houses.

You did the decent thing by giving your DP another chance and he has not done the decent thing by you Stercus. You have been incredibly brave and I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world with your lovely DS x

My view:

Stop interacting with him. Don't call his brother (IIRC?) this time to talk about things.
Why care about him doing an anger management course now? You're still trying to fix him. It isn't your job.

If you let him live in the house with your little baby, growing up with fear, with him as an example, your child won't, and shouldn't IMO, forgive YOU or him.

Get out, being alone is better than this shit. You can choose to have a BETTER life, do it today.

Sosad I am not brave flower far from it.. i know i am only chucking him because reality wrote what i was thinking..DS could have been killed..he was literally inches away. Its DSS's birthday on friday too i suppose that will be used as a tool or at least would be if i was planning on being contactable.

Thats why i am not brave, not standing my ground cos i know i will be pushed and feel guilty and forgive so i am sneaking off until its all over
Can't face the pleading and begging and niceness, acting like nothing happened and hoping i will come to accept that nothing did.

It will take time in your situation you are NOT weak for staying and no one thinks that you have ignored their advice. You are just doing your best in a shitty situation and being loving and forgiving.. i hope it works out.. i know i thought it would if i said 'no more' but he must have thought i meant 'no more just this maybe possibly one last time'

Fuck him. He broke the only thing he ever gave me that i gave a shit about other than DS.
Twatbag. He's a monster.

DS1 can have his bleedin xbox

Jenbot, no i won't be lol
BIL is ok but i guess even though he professes to hate DP they are brothers so their allegiances have to lie with each other. I suppose it was unfair of me to drag him into it IMO.

I'm a big girl now.
Thats why i need my mummy To tell me i did the right thing and to come pick me and our stuff up and let me hide out at hers for a couple days lol.

He can come here with her to pick up his stuff.

That's fantastic news stercus you life and those of your kids will be sooo much better off without him. From now on its good guys all the way for you!

kerrymumbles such a lot of twaddle - how are games consoles for kids when most of the games are over 18 cert? and surely a bloke with an obsession for games is no worse than a bloke with any other "obsession" for selfish pursuits which contribute bugger all to the household?

how did he take being told to go stercus?

I am so against the crowd on MN that tell woman to chuck out their dp/dh's over arguements, but this has got to be the exception.

I am so proud of you for having the strength to do this and applaud you.

You know you are doing the right thing and there is nothing wrong with hiding out with your mum for a few days, after all thats what mums are for.

You should know, you are one and its your job to protect your ds the way your mum is protecting you.

Good luck x

Fuck me, SA, you are brave, no doubt about it. I consider myself as 'ard as nails usually, but faced with this behaviour I'd have been scared witless.

My very best wishes to you and your DCs.

Thank you.

Erm..i haven't told him yet
I was afraid he would kick off/try to change my mind by crying which i can't take.. or using the DSC's/DS..

I am in process of helping him write his resignation letter to work so am going to write one for myself as a parting shot.

Enclosed plastic gorilla toy..'Due to your inability to evolve into a decent P i resign the post of girlfriend henceforth. As severence pay i demand that you leave your damned xbox so i can donate it to a worthy cause.. ..

Joking but it would be nice. Nope, i'll just make sure i'm not here. Then my mum will pop over tonight and give him the good news, and feed my dog. Dog first as per pecking order.

brilliant stercus lol

Perhaps that way he will know you mean it.

Its called..chickening out

But i tend to look at him and fogive or forget almost immediately. I NEED to remember how i would be treated if i was crying..he calls me names, snivelling so and so, crybaby, ect...

I SHOULD be angry enough to carry this out face to face but then am worried i would be TOO angry and say things i may regret which wouldn't help matters.

The source of my misery (xbox) is coming with me...he'll miss that more than me no doubt. Twatbag.

It doesn't matter how you do it so long as you get him gone stercus Get your mum to tell him that you couldn't stand the thought of his snivelling begging face!

I would leave him his xbox to be honest with the fond hopes that it will keep him warm in bed at night! I wouldn't give him the excuse to kick off about it or come back round asking for it.

I might leave it in several pieces though...

Have you documented the damage and reported it to the police? Hate to say it but if it comes to access you might need evidence and crime numbers for his behaviour or he might get unsupervised.

Well done OP, you know you have done the right thing. Your life will grow and change now in all sorts of positive ways, just watch.

On the games console issue, I tend to generally agree with kerrym. I know some intelligent adults play them and enjoy them in moderation, but I've met too many overgrown teenagers who make them the centre of their life. It's a red flag for me, anyway.

Well done Stercus - you get out any way you need to. And do take photos of the damage as some posters said - he's not behaving like an adult, he could carry on being childish re your DS - all rights, no responsibilities, fathers for justice here we go...

So so glad you're getting him out of there

And maybe on Friday at wine o'clock we can convene a thread to find you a shiny happy new name?

Dump him.

F4J can kiss my arse when i show the photo's i took of what he did, but at the end of the day none of that matters, he can be as arsey about DS as he likes.. i have been through the SS mill so therefore i know what to say in court that will make sure contact is supervised until DS is 21 lol

The games console thing.. its not THAT he plays it but how MUCH and same goes for everyone else, i guess. When a games console is on more than its off, you can't turn it off to eat your tea, or play with/bath/do homework with your kids, when most of your friends are 'xbox live' friends, when you don't realise that its boring if you're not playing it, if your kids come to stay for a weekend and end up watching the back of your head all day while you play games, and i MEAN ALL DAY, i have known DP to get up, eat, have a cuppa, go on xbox and come off at 1am, another time he was on it all day and through the night until 6am, then was ratty through tiredness.
When your DP rolls his eyes and huffs because you have asked him to : Go to the shop/wash his DD's hair/bath the baby/turn the farkin thing off cos i would like to watch a SINGLE programme without feeling like i have to confine myself to the bedroom ........
THATS when its a problem.

Anyway. I brought it, he can come back for it as often as he likes but he won't get it in one piece so may as well forget it, his nephew has one anyway so they can share when he moves back in to SIL's.

Keep him warm at night? I'd set the sodding thing up so it electrocuted him if i could.

I haven't gone to the police though. I'm too bloody ashamed..plus it would go straight through to the SS and THAT i DONT need on top of all the other stuff.

God i feel better already.