Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Flippin WANKER

173 replies

StercusAccidit · 13/04/2009 15:48

DP has broken my mothers day present from DS2 in a wobbly about not being able to find a screwdriver to fit his xbox controller He had the bloody things modded and spent all morning moaning about them, then the button stuck on one so he asked about the screwdriver he had brought specially for them, i couldn't find it (had a mad tidy up the other day cos his mega fussy dad was coming) so he flipped out.

Fucking tosser pulled the fire surround off the wall as well, AND the gas fire which i will now have to replace because its a council house.
AND pulled a set of shelves off the wall breaking a very old clock and damaging some of my ornaments. WTF is wrong with these people???

I am ANGRY and UPSET about the present from DS...its the first thing i have ever had for mothers day that i didn't have to buy for myself.

He has said he will buy a new one but i said no as it wouldn't be the same.

I'm on the verge of tears as i'm writing this. What a nobber

Why do they always break MY things? My ExP was the same...None of his things got damaged ffs. I didn't trash HIS stuff when i found out he had cheated on me numerous times when i was PG and before as well.
Add to that (haven't left it till last as it isn't important because it IS) when he was chucking this wobbly DS was in his chair on the floor in the living room FFS anything could have hit him i am soooooooo angry what a twat

I feel like i have no one else to talk to posting on here is probably the wrong thing too

I thought he had changed. OBVIOUSLY NOT.

OP posts:
Original poster
StercusAccidit · 14/04/2009 15:54

Also i quite like this name ... will just have to have a different view of it now 'tis all

OP posts:
applepudding · 14/04/2009 16:33

Well done for deciding to kick him out. I was reading this yesterday evening and have been thinking about you.

The main thing is that you and your children are safe away from him - leave him the xbox if its so important to him - you have more in your life than a games console - your children's future and yours is what is important.

Hope all goes well over the next few days.

mrsboogie · 14/04/2009 16:35

well the xbox was the undoing of him so it's done some good!

christ stercus that was bad though! - I had an ex was like that except it was the pub for him. Would have been there 24/7 if he could with "the boys".

Of course consoles are an escape from reality but so is watching movies and reading books! It's the amount of time you spend doing it to the exclusion of more important things that matters. My OH has every console going - he used to play on them while I had my head in a book. Now that we have DS neither the books nor the consoles get much use but I don't think its fair to paint all users as immature.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 14/04/2009 18:49

Well done, good for you. But do take photographs of the damage done and if remotely possible, have someone there for when he picks up his belongings (or put them in the porch for him) to make sure that he can't burn the house down. Sorry if that sounds scary but violent tosspots sometimes do go right on the rampage when evicted.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 14/04/2009 19:03

I see what you mean SGB thanks.. my mum will be there, nothing stopping him doing something silly if he sets his heart on it i suppose but i told him before that he has done enough to me, hopefully the guilt kicks in and he realises after nearly 3 years of cheating, lying and leaving me in the back of beyond, me waiting on him and his kids hand and foot, and the fact i have never treated him with any less than 100% respect and love even when i found out about the cheating, will be enough to make him walk away without fuss.

Can hope can't i.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 14/04/2009 19:15

Good luck. And make sure your mum knows what is his and what is yours. Are you still there at the moment? Might be a good idea to pack up any valuables/irraplaceables in case he decides to be childish about taking things.

HolyGuacamole · 14/04/2009 20:33

Well done Stercus!! Good for you and wishing you loads of good luck and happiness

You're so brave!!!

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 14/04/2009 20:37

Good advice from trillian. I think you may be a bit optimistic to expect this selfish, childish, violent wanker to behave with any decency: make sure your mum knows that it is OK to call the police and have him dragged out of the house if he kicks off.

ChippingIn · 14/04/2009 23:02

StercusAccidit - are you sure your Mum will be OK if she is the one that has to tell him? I wouldn't want my Mum anywhere near him... also, can you not take the dog with you? Ask a friend to have it? I really hate the idea of a dog being left alone with him, I'm scared he might hurt it in anger.

sososad · 15/04/2009 11:01

Stercus - you sound like you mean business this time and I wish you all the luck in the world. Has he been told the news yet? You are so right to be determined not to be swayed by tears. I swear we are with the same person, my DP also calls me all the names under the sun when I get upset whereas I could never blatantly kick someone when they were already on the floor. If your mum tells him then you are not even running the risk of his pleading, tears etc getting to you which means you will be able to stay strong in wanting him out of your life. As your Ds is a baby I would perhaps consider letting him have the X Box - as your Ds is so young it will be old hat when he is old enough to play himself, and it will probably sit there like a little square monster reminding you of your shitty arse of a DP. It may also make life easier for you if he just takes it - if he is that attached to it he is bound to kick up a stink. Interestingly my DP is also X Box live mad and plays it for hours too. I hate the bloody thing

I hope you are bearing up ok today - let us know when you can what happenned and wishing you well xx

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 15/04/2009 13:50

Hi everyone

Finally online yaay
Well i did consider the whole 'my mum being here' thing but she would batter him anyway lol
I decided to take care of my own dirty washing in any case, as well as worrying about the dog and him being an arse with mum/about my stuff..

I brought the xbox so, DS1 who is 11 and more grown up AND aware of time limits on consoles AND not prone to tantrum throwing, deserves it more than he does, so thats tough.

He didn't take it well, but i think the 'i resign' letter did the trick, as did informing him if he gives me ANY shit i will go to the police and SS and inform them exactly WHY i have chucked him..nearly killing DS2..and if i do that, he stands a chance of losing the DSC's as well so that sort of made him stop in his tracks. Nasty of me i know but now i have to show no mercy.

And he didn't get chance to give me sob stories because i said i just wasn't interested. Gave him DSS's birthday card, and school trousers that i brought, told him he was useless and how his kids would only get everything they deserved if they had four wheels and an engine, and told him straight also that MY DS unlike the others has a MUM who loves him and will stand up for him, including against his wanker of a father.

DS2 is due his injections today, he said if 'you need me phone me and i'll come straight over from work'
"What for? So you can slap the injection site?" (I was evil )

Finally,.....He was under no illusion what was his and what wasn't..my stuff was in the house, his was ..
On the garden.

OP posts:
Tidey · 15/04/2009 13:53

I'm silently (DD asleep) cheering for you. Very well done, he sounds an utter arse.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 15/04/2009 13:57

Thanks. He sure knows i mean it this time due to the month long 'chance' i already gave him i am already pretty much mentally free of his shit.

Off out now for a nice walk and no worrying about what to do him for tea FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
nannyogg · 15/04/2009 14:04

Oh Stercus well done,

Been lurking on this thread and wishing you the strength to get through it all - so glad you did, and you sound so positive..

enjoy your walk!

mrsboogie · 15/04/2009 14:45

well done you!

No more second chances and no more Mrs Nice Guy!

Enjoy the freedom (and the sole control of the tv)!

prettyfly1 · 15/04/2009 16:07

Yeahhhh well done Stercus. Dont go backwards tho - he will beg and plead over the next six months or so and you will wobble - continue to be this brave and good luck to you!!

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 15/04/2009 18:11

Six whole months

Ye overestimate his stamina and determination

OP posts:
ThingOne · 15/04/2009 18:47

Well done Stercus. And good luck.

theoptimist · 15/04/2009 19:05

Just read this whole thread and was glad to see you made your house safe again for your kids by removing this seemingly crazy guy. Like you say, you've done it before so you know about the light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes.

ladylush · 15/04/2009 19:13

Well done for booting this wanker out of your life. I wish you lots of luck and wanker antennae in the hope that you will one day get a man who is worthy of you. Meanwhile, enjoy the stablility that you and your dc will have now that this arsehole is out of your house

dittany · 15/04/2009 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuffinBaker · 15/04/2009 19:36

Brilliant news.

Well done.

You have done yourself and your kids proud.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 15/04/2009 20:51

Har.. i take it all back.
He's here already playing the smallest violin in the world.

Not interested.

Now.. where do i post asking about reusable nappies whilst ignoring the pitiful whining noises coming from outside

OP posts:
dittany · 15/04/2009 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 15/04/2009 21:04

Yeah i'm fine fortunately the curtains are hiding his ugly mug..

But not his 'You're the best thing thats ever happened to me, i'm sorry, i will get help for my temper, i dont want to live seperate from you and DS.....yadda yadda whine whine'

I'm not scared of him but he's bothering me during MN time

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread