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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Flippin WANKER

173 replies

StercusAccidit · 13/04/2009 15:48

DP has broken my mothers day present from DS2 in a wobbly about not being able to find a screwdriver to fit his xbox controller He had the bloody things modded and spent all morning moaning about them, then the button stuck on one so he asked about the screwdriver he had brought specially for them, i couldn't find it (had a mad tidy up the other day cos his mega fussy dad was coming) so he flipped out.

Fucking tosser pulled the fire surround off the wall as well, AND the gas fire which i will now have to replace because its a council house.
AND pulled a set of shelves off the wall breaking a very old clock and damaging some of my ornaments. WTF is wrong with these people???

I am ANGRY and UPSET about the present from DS...its the first thing i have ever had for mothers day that i didn't have to buy for myself.

He has said he will buy a new one but i said no as it wouldn't be the same.

I'm on the verge of tears as i'm writing this. What a nobber

Why do they always break MY things? My ExP was the same...None of his things got damaged ffs. I didn't trash HIS stuff when i found out he had cheated on me numerous times when i was PG and before as well.
Add to that (haven't left it till last as it isn't important because it IS) when he was chucking this wobbly DS was in his chair on the floor in the living room FFS anything could have hit him i am soooooooo angry what a twat

I feel like i have no one else to talk to posting on here is probably the wrong thing too

I thought he had changed. OBVIOUSLY NOT.

OP posts:
mrsboogie · 13/04/2009 16:43

You know he will never change, love. Stop deluding yourself that he will. You only get one life - why spend it with this tosser?

Comewhinewithme · 13/04/2009 16:46

I'm sorry SA .

TrillianEAstraEgg · 13/04/2009 16:48

What are you going to do?

mrsboogie · 13/04/2009 16:50

"when will it stop?" when you make it stop Stercus He will never, ever, ever stop it.

Maybe he will though when your kids are grown up and have learnt how to be violent from daddy. They'll be tearing things off the wall then though, and breaking your stuff.

"what did I do to deserve this?" nothing. NOT A THING.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 13/04/2009 16:52

Bloody hell. What a tantrum. The question now is what are you going to do?

sososad · 13/04/2009 16:59

He has been a total and utter wanker Stercus and you and your DC's do not deserve this. I know the feelings of anger, sadness and disbelief all too well and it destroys you. Do you have anyone you can call to talk to or who can come and be with you for a bit? I really feel your pain over the snow globe - you can't replace something like that because it won't have been your dc who gave it to you. Is he on the tenancy agreement too?

AbricotsSecs · 13/04/2009 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScorpiowithabigS · 13/04/2009 17:03

What an awful thing to say about shutting the baby up

Love and strength to you.

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 13/04/2009 17:06

YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM

HOW MANY MORE THREADS ABOUT HIS FUCKING AWFUL ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR

GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

i mean that in the nicest possible way, but what can you be told , tht you don;t already know?

he is an abusive bully

you nearly found the strenght to leave him recently

every time you give him an ultimatum and then he behaves the same, you lose a bit more footing

get rid.

or your sons will grow up to be abusive and nasty to the women in their lveis too

Alambil · 13/04/2009 17:08

and what about when he runs out of shelves to destroy?

People like that DO always end up hurting SOMEONE.

They do.

Get him gone. Now - before it's too late.

TrillianEAstraEgg · 13/04/2009 17:11

Right, who wants to make a list with me?

Send kids somewhere safe while you talk to him
Tell him that he has to leave
Inform landlord (etc) that he no longer lives there
Change the locks (?)
Get on with life
Do not talk to him, see him, etc
Possibly find counselling if you're serious in saying that you always end up with horrible abusive men.

Someone come add to/edit this list for me?

EachPeachPearMum · 13/04/2009 17:14

Stercus (you are BS right?)... sorry this has happened. You need to take steps. I haven't seen any of your other threads, sorry, but it sounds as though he isn't going to change. DS is so little - he needs to be protected from this (sorry, can't remember how old the others are...) do you think he could hurt ds?
There'll always be support on mn for you.

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 13/04/2009 17:16

get the police involved

take photos of the damage and make sure hte landlord knows it was not you?

womens aid

get some money and things squirelled away so if you have to run in the middle of the night

ChippingIn · 13/04/2009 17:19

Adding to TEE's list...

Have someone there when you talk to him
Give someone else the kids passports (if they have them)
Have someone supervise his visits with them

SA - you know him and I don't - that's a given - but I do NOT share you certainty that he would not physically hurt you or the kids. From the outside looking in, this is entirely possible and even highly likely.

There is every point to you posting here - do it as often as you need to, we are all here for you. I hope you have someone in RL who can be there for you too.

Gather all your strength and get that fuckwit out of your house.

MuffinBaker · 13/04/2009 17:20

Would you have said before he wouldn't have damaged the fixtures and fittings?

Alambil · 13/04/2009 17:23

0808 2000 247

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 13/04/2009 17:28

a man who calls you a c*nt and rips things off walls whislt your 12 week old baby is in the room is just as capable of smacking you one

or your children

howtotellmum · 13/04/2009 17:29

I agree with all the others that you need to end this relationship.

However, I also think you need to talk to a professional ( counsellor) about why this pattern repeats itself. If you do always end up with abusive men, there will be a reason for it. One very simple reason might be that you fail to recognise the early signs of an aggressive man, think you can do no better than that, think you can change them, or you go into denial over what they are really like.

Even now, you seem to be dithering over whether you should end this relationship and fail to see what he is really like.

Please make a decision not to ever put up with this treatment from anyone again.

MarlaSinger · 13/04/2009 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lowenergylightbulb · 13/04/2009 17:59

"I KNOW he would not PHYSICALLY hurt me or DS, EVER, but IMO he didn't have to. I was shaking and crying and poor DS was frightened too even though he is only 3 months old."

He trashed a room because of a screwdriver for an x-box and you think he'll never hit you?

Really???

HolyGuacamole · 13/04/2009 18:01

Stercus!

I too remember some of your other threads

You will not change this man.

No matter what you do, you will never change him.

He will not change for you. He will not change for your children.

He will always be like this. He will always go round in circles, behaving one minute and acting like a psycho the next.

Forget trying to outdo him and out smart him. He will never change, never, ever, ever. For you and your children, this is a no win situation.

Tell him to leave. Do it now. And mean it.

JackBauerKilledTheEasterBunny · 13/04/2009 18:10

Oh Stercus.
I agree with the (many, many) others who say that he is not going to change, I hope this proves it to you.
FWIW my mum always was convinced my father would never lay a finger on any of us, but he did, when she wasn't around.
Anyone with a temper like that can, and will, turn it on a human if they feel like it.

Copy that list and get rid of him. Please.
He is dangerous.

dittany · 13/04/2009 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 13/04/2009 18:31

Is this the bloke who has step children who live with his mum or something? The one who does nothing but play on his computer games when they stay, leaving you with the baby?#
If so, he is beyond belief.

mrsboogie · 13/04/2009 18:51

what's Latin for "shit keeps happening over and over again"?

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