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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

OMG I dont believe this - I'M the other woman [angry]

236 replies

TwuckingFunt · 04/04/2009 18:48

Well that's it really. Just found out via facebook of all places, that my lovely, caring, generous, gorgeous (d)p of nearly a year is living with somebody

Don't want to go into too much detail about how I found out just in case his poor gf is an MNer. I am a regular btw but namechanged for obvious reasons.

I have just been physically sick and really can't believe it. It's like a nightmare, I want to kill him.

How could he do this to me? How could he do this to her?

I know you will probably ask how I didnt notice anything but I really didnt. He lives about 60 miles away but works around the corner from me and because of my DC, it was always easier for me if he came here instead of traipsing all the way up to his. He used to stay at mine a few times a week, we had weekends away together, he would ring me from home, text me all the time, spend weekends shopping, cinema etc. with me.

I feel so stupid, betrayed, hurt and angry. Please don't flame me, I feel bad enough as it is, I can honestly say there were no major warning signs. Because of my abusive, cheating XP, I'm quite an insecure person anyway so any niggling little doubts were always pushed to the back of my mind because I thought it was just my insecurities

Anyway, just wanted to write it all down. I have to try and keep it together for the DC but inside I'm destroyed

OP posts:
BottySpottom · 01/05/2009 23:24

A wife too - oh what an arse. I read this thread a while ago and am so pleased to see that you are doing so well.

TwuckingFunt · 02/05/2009 17:04

I agree KiwiKat, as I say, I wouldn't have been particularly bothered that he was still married as they had been separated. But the fact that he didnt tell me really pisses me off and shows him for the man he really is!

I just feel so stupid now. How could he have gotten away with all these lies? How didn't I see? He made a mug of me didnt he, was probably chuckling to himself at night knowing at how deceitful he was being

I honestly thought I was a good judge of character until this. I'm obviously not that good to let this complete arsehole into mine and my DC's lives for so long

OP posts:
KiwiKat · 02/05/2009 21:58

It shows that you're an honest, trusting person, and he's a self-serving liar, who appears to be rather good at it. Thank heavens you ditched him before your lives became even more entangled. Lucky escape.

echt · 03/05/2009 08:18

Gosh, Twucking. Just read about the wife.

You're well rid. You've been very tough on this, and good for you. Kiwikat says it right; you're not a mug, you're a good person who trusts. Selfish and manipulating arses can alway appear to get the better of such as you, but don't be downcast.

Chin up, spit in his eye (metaphorically, that is - stay away form the slimy git).

DivaSkyChick · 07/07/2009 01:22

Hi Twunking, just wondering how you're doing?

MissSunny · 08/07/2009 10:01

Message withdrawn

TwuckingFunt · 11/07/2009 23:26

Sorry I haven't updated for a while, thank you for thinking of me and asking how I am.

Things are much better now. No, I didnt tell his girlfriend in the end. Tbh I don't want any more hassle, just want to forget all about him.

I've been kept busy with my work and also my DC and surprisingly, I'm a lot better than I thought I would be.

I obviously still think about him now and again but I'm angry with him now rather than sad about him not being here IYKWIM.

I have changed my mobile number so obviously his texts and calls have now stopped (I didn't give him the new number). I have had a couple of 'sorry' and 'I miss you' cards in the post but I don't even read them. As soon as I see the 'sorry/I miss you' on the front, they go in the bin. Not heard anything for about 4 weeks now though so I think he's given in!

I haven't found anybody else yet, no. But then again, I'm not looking! I think it'll probably take a lot for me to trust anyone again tbh . I hate him for that!

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 11/07/2009 23:45

It is a shame that his girlfriend live in blissful ignorance of what her boyfriend is capable of. Lets hope he has learnt a lesson, dont do it again, and if he does, I hope he never fathers any children.... Just imagine having a child with a sod like this.

Good on you for recovering so well from this shit.

BitOfFun · 11/07/2009 23:51

Glad to hear you're doing so well

GiraffesCanRunA10k · 11/07/2009 23:56

Just read this whole thead for the first time. What an arse. Sorry he did this to you. Hopefully one day you find a lovely honest kind man.

KiwiKat · 21/07/2009 21:27

You sound in a good frame of mind. Delighted to hear it. He's a fool.

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