Being a "high end" sex worker and what it means/involves

[OFFS]

I have another thread going, in which dittany has suggested that I am a male fantasist, and therefore a liar. She says this because I have said that I am a prostitute, and generally enjoy my work, though it is not without problems. I have started this thread so that those of you who have questions about "high end" (SBG's phrase, not mine) prostitutes can ask me, directly, any questions you might have.

Please note that I am not a street-worker, I do not work in a brothel, and I have no pimp. My clients approach me via email - I do not hang out in hotel bars, and I require at least 24 hours notice of an appointment. I have no knowledge or personal experience of these other aspects of sex work.

I choose which clients I see, and can walk out at any time. I am not trafficked or abused, and have never had a violent client in eight years. I pay my taxes like any other self-employed businesswoman. I do not have any addiction to any illegal drugs, and I always use condoms with my clients. I have regular check-ups at my local GUM. While I have no direct knowledge of parlour/sauna/brothel work, I do have trusted prostitute friends with that experience, and I will do my best to furnish the information you require.

Please also note that I am not qualified or experienced enough to discuss women who are trafficked, abused, drug-addicted or so forth. I can, and am willing, to discuss my own life - I am not responsible for others.

I almost feel that some women are scared to say prostitution is wrong- maybe because so many men in society think that prostitution is a reasonably okay thing (even if they don't pay for sex themselves) and if you say flat-out it is wrong you are seen as being "straight" or "out of date" or "old-school feminist".
Or maybe some women are in denial about what prostitution really is when they defend it, which is why its so good to have someone like CAnyouseewhyInamechanged on here.
These are our girls, these are our daughters. As women we can only say it is wrong. People who talk about "freedoms" and "rights" regarding whether it is okay to buy or sell a body (even one's own body) have certain agendas but it is not a feminist agenda and it is certainly not a women-friendly agenda.

I was interested to read that decriminalising prostitution merely gives the green-light for this industry to escalate. I used to always believe that it was only a good thing if women were not made into pariahs, by decriminalising. But I think the above posters were right. Lets concentrate on the men who should have it spelled out to them how wrong it is. I think a process of shaming the men is the right way to go.

Some really interesting and heartfelt posts here. If I ever thought either of my children were going in the direction of degrading themselves, whether that be by being with someone who didn't love them for some material or emotional gain or full out prostitution I would be devastated. If on the other hand they got into kinky ways then I would merely be worried about their safety and emotional well being.

My dh used to frequent web-sites for female body builders, many of whom sold themselves in order to support their lifestyle. Most of them hated doing it (whether that was just posing, or muscle worship, or submission type stuff or full on prostitution) and despised their clients. But they still justified it, and they still went on doing it and taking the money. He also went on a "session" and found it unbearably depressing (nb I wasn't happy either!). Later he met many of the women in a work setting, a totally different experience.

I want my children to fulfill their potential in everything they do, I want them to have interesting jobs and be able to talk to me about them, and to feel proud in their happiness and skills. Like I am in my job, which they are very interested in (I don't understand how OFFS can avoid talking about work with her children, it must create a real barrier, although I assume to be under the VAT level she can't actually work/earn very much?)

Oh, and in my household I have mostly supported dh (at the moment he is a SAHD) does that make him oppressed, or is marriage inherently anti-women because of historical factors?

Oh, and I'm also interested in the idea that there are very very few male prostitutes for women to buy sex from. I assume that there is little demand. My understanding is that that is because women do not find transactional sex attractive rather than the somewhat sexist view that women would never need to pay for sex as obviously there are always men gagging for it. So that for me would be another argument to say that prostitution is wrong because it would imply that women on the whole would particularly dislike sex without intimacy (I'm excluding the fetishists as they are a different proposition entirely).

I agree with you very much on this sakura and was thinking about it last night.

Not only is it a total waste of time to argue over the morals of prostitution in an academic sense, but it does a huge disservice to those who have personal real life experience of it by dismissing their clear messages of terrible pain, suffering and distress. My question is why on earth would any women want to deny the experiences of others in such a way?

Who cares whether women should have the 'right' to sell their bodies when we know that it is so damaging for them to do so. To have a useful discussion about prostitution one has to examine it in the real life context in which it functions which is one of control, male dominance, coercion, violence, pimping, threats, beatings, enforced drug taking, pornography, trafficking, rape, abuse, murder, slavery, organised crime, theft of earnings and so on. The 'right' of a person to sell themselves doesn't come even into it.

The real argument is over the 'right' of men to buy sexual access to women and children and the 'right' of men to sell sexual access to women and children. To my mind these concepts have no place in an equal society and go against the principles of human rights. (Hey, call me a prude).

The overwhelming majority of women testify to the fact that prostitution is hugely damaging to a person. Women experience addiction, health problems, post traumatic stress disorder, phobias, anxiety, panic attacks, terrible damage to their confidence, self esteem and sense of self worth. The suicide rate is higher amongst prostituted women than any other sector of society FFS. We can see from CanYouSeeWhyINamechanged's important posts what really goes on (you sound like one very brave and honorable woman BTW).

That some men might argue that there is anything justifiable about this travesty of human rights in order to maintain a status quo and to continue to dominate women is not so very surprising.

But that women would try to defend the inhumane institution of prostitution is a sign of just how male dominated our society still is and how influenced our thought processes are. In countries where prostitution is not tolerated by the legal system (like Sweden) people come out quite clearly and say that they think it is wrong.