Being a "high end" sex worker and what it means/involves

[OFFS]

I have another thread going, in which dittany has suggested that I am a male fantasist, and therefore a liar. She says this because I have said that I am a prostitute, and generally enjoy my work, though it is not without problems. I have started this thread so that those of you who have questions about "high end" (SBG's phrase, not mine) prostitutes can ask me, directly, any questions you might have.

Please note that I am not a street-worker, I do not work in a brothel, and I have no pimp. My clients approach me via email - I do not hang out in hotel bars, and I require at least 24 hours notice of an appointment. I have no knowledge or personal experience of these other aspects of sex work.

I choose which clients I see, and can walk out at any time. I am not trafficked or abused, and have never had a violent client in eight years. I pay my taxes like any other self-employed businesswoman. I do not have any addiction to any illegal drugs, and I always use condoms with my clients. I have regular check-ups at my local GUM. While I have no direct knowledge of parlour/sauna/brothel work, I do have trusted prostitute friends with that experience, and I will do my best to furnish the information you require.

Please also note that I am not qualified or experienced enough to discuss women who are trafficked, abused, drug-addicted or so forth. I can, and am willing, to discuss my own life - I am not responsible for others.

CYS: I am not disputing your experiences in the least, but I have known and do know other sex workers who have been more fortunate.But I don't think it's something anyone should do swithout giving it serious thought and finding out as much as possible before they start.
There are various opinions on what laws should be changed to protect the vulnerable and prevent the sort of exploitation that is all too common - often new law proposals are objected to on the groudns that they will actually increase the risks to sex workers and make them feel less able to report crimes committed against them.

You shouldn't have to though dittany.

Dittany: At no point did I feel you were offensive or intrusive. Mumsnet is an open forum adn you are entitled to an opinion. My objection starts when people deliberately target other posters for nastiness, which the op did. She knows she works in an industry that causes controversy to say the lease and I think you were potentially the tool by which she generated some more hype. Dont worry about it and certainly dont take it personally.

I've said on the other thread that i don't think any one poster should be singled out and i'll say it again on here.
Whoever the OP is, all of this hero worship of SGB and bitterness/axegrinding towards dittany is just plain odd. And a little creepy.

I have no issues with discussing the sex industry and i am certainly no prude. This and the other thread however leave me with a nasty taste in my mouth though because once again i have a feeling that there is a poster who is being dishonest about her/his motives in posting this and the other thread.

hi - i have been away for a while, but have 'lurked' on these threads for a few days

i would like to know

as a wife/partner, do you really feel any respect for a dh who, presumamably, sits at the breakfast table, eats the crossants and jam, knowing that they equate to a blow job you gave some strange guy, the same dh then drops the dc at private school, knowing that equates to 'vanilla' sex for his wife and 'an other' guy, but knows that the ski trip will require a bit of 'bumsex' with who ever is prepared to pay for it?

over the last couple of days, we, in our office, have been discussing the thread - without doubt, the men i work with would stick pins in their eyes before living on the prostitued earnings of their partners, they are young men, brought up by mothers who are true 'women of the 60s and 70s'

btw - none of us read the daily mail!

Have just got home from work (though have been sneaking a look at this thread aduring the day, I just can't post from wrk. I too want to say, that although you and I have extremely opposite view on many things Dittany, I have felt all day that this thread was created to goad you and to encourage others to do so as well. I think that is disgusting. It is one thing to start a thread to offer a genuine insight into something like prostitution, but quite another to use that thread as an excuse to be thoroughly unpleasant to another MNer.

Why is it that a woman who sleeps around for no charge is called a slut yet a prostitute who sleeps around for money is called a WG? Just a thought.

As the mother of sons I would be horrified if my DSs thought that you could order up a prostitute the way that you can order a pizza; that a woman is a commodity to do whatever you like with-as long as you pay enough.
I feel sorry for all the women through history who have fought for equality, at considerable personal cost, to think that, for some women in 21st century, being liberated means hiring out your vagina to the highest bidder!

I haven't seen the other thread but if this has been started to be unpleasant to Dittany then it is bullying and disgraceful.

SGB some of the parlours i have worked in have worked very closely with the police, not as in giving them services but if we needed help there were panic buttons (at a very good parlour in wales i used to use alot)

Like i have just said to LEM on another thread (my thread) i think that rather, or as well as, than trying to legalize prostitution they need to be focusing on getting pimps and 'madames' put away, they are the people who mainly exploit these girls, and madames are no better than pimps (just a female version imo)

These girls, and occasional boys, need to be educated about the psychological effects that this *will8 have on you.

TBH i can completely understand why OFFS is making out she is happy and enjoying her job, i did to my friends who werent in the industry but knew what i did, i was kidding myself, trying to cope.

Unless OFFS gets to meet the men, get to know them and chose the ones she likes then i can't imagine she really enjoys what she is doing.

'Working' really strips you of your self confidence and self respect. I nearly had a breakdown when reality hit me what i had been through and just how unnormal it is, as i had been just getting on with it as my life, i was very unhappy and don't want anybody else to be in that place.

I have a simlar question as beanieb for Husbandofananomynousmner (or whatever the id was)...in which religion would prostitution of any kind be acceptable?

sayithowitis - Choice of words depends on your personal maturity, education, and background, among other things.

Women you call 'sluts', I would probably call 'promiscuous'.

Sayithowitis: most people who use condemnatory language about women who have sex with lots of different people will use condemnatory language about them whether they charge for it or not.
I don;t think I have been bullying towards Dittany. She and I disagree profoundly on this and some other issues (though we agree on some issues as well) but I think we are both capable of accepting that we will not change each other's opinons.

Just to continue to take the whole thing at face value, at least for now, if the OP has buried her uneasiness with her job but is aware of it enough to feel the need to defend her choices, then she might start a fight with a clear external representative of that unease. I mean, Dittany might be standing in for her own demons in this case.

Sorry if that is garbled and unclear.

I read the boarding school thread on mn a few months ago and lots of adults said that boarding school damaged them, but if asked at the time they would have said it was great and they loved it. Part of the reasons for insisting that it was great was to show to themselves, and others, that they were tough, that they could handle "freedom" and in fact thrived on it. (I did not go to boarding school but this rang bells with me.) Had you challenged the regime in front of one of those young people you would have got a very fiery, perhaps personally aggressive, response.

I used to come into contact with WGs in my old job. The one thing they all had in common was dead eyes. You can try to fool yourself that your body is just a commodity to sell buts it much more complex than that.

Dittany..I think you have articulated what I think in a much better way than I was able to...Excellent work in reffing Dworkin btw

If a woman has no capacity to earn a lot of money other than by selling her body she is going to have to justify it by giving it some glamour. I think that if you got below the defence you would find a troubled woman.
The more troubled, the greater the defences.

Sorry if you've already answered this question and i've missed it, but what do you tell your children/family/friends that you do? I'll understand if you don't want to reveal your entire cover story but you must have to say you are a ?something?

Especially as on the other thread it is mentioned that dh isn't working....or am I confusing....so...I think LaaDeDa is asking a valid question there....

tbh, I think if someone is truely happy about what they are doing and who they are, they don't have anything to hide and are open about it...so....not telling people might be a sign that OP is maybe NOT as comfortable about it all as she says....
And NO it is NOT the same as talking about your sexlife to family and friends...it's talking about ones career...

fairlady ops family outside dh do not know.

dear Offs,

would you say that you are rather intrigued by what people think of you?

It just seems to be rather alot of effort to invite an internet site to ask questions about you and for you to read all 12 pages and reply so meticulously.

Princeonthemove far from being a great beauty I am a minger, although looking back then I was quite attractive, good company and had an element of respectability that he needed. We both got things out of the relationship but for me it was financial. I am not that person anymore but thinks more women have done the same thing than we would like to admit.

Divineintervention I have known very smart women who have worked as prostituted because it enabled them to live a certain kind of lifestyle but work in the public sector.

But I am not saying prostitution is a good thing or would want to encourage someone to do it.

prettyfly..you mean OPs family don't know that her dh isn't working?
I mean, I know that other than her dh no one knows she is prostituting herself....

what I meant was, if other people know that OP's dh isn't working, and if they do...what do these people think what they live off...am not really clear...my brain is shutting down...sorry....