Being a "high end" sex worker and what it means/involves

[OFFS]

I have another thread going, in which dittany has suggested that I am a male fantasist, and therefore a liar. She says this because I have said that I am a prostitute, and generally enjoy my work, though it is not without problems. I have started this thread so that those of you who have questions about "high end" (SBG's phrase, not mine) prostitutes can ask me, directly, any questions you might have.

Please note that I am not a street-worker, I do not work in a brothel, and I have no pimp. My clients approach me via email - I do not hang out in hotel bars, and I require at least 24 hours notice of an appointment. I have no knowledge or personal experience of these other aspects of sex work.

I choose which clients I see, and can walk out at any time. I am not trafficked or abused, and have never had a violent client in eight years. I pay my taxes like any other self-employed businesswoman. I do not have any addiction to any illegal drugs, and I always use condoms with my clients. I have regular check-ups at my local GUM. While I have no direct knowledge of parlour/sauna/brothel work, I do have trusted prostitute friends with that experience, and I will do my best to furnish the information you require.

Please also note that I am not qualified or experienced enough to discuss women who are trafficked, abused, drug-addicted or so forth. I can, and am willing, to discuss my own life - I am not responsible for others.

T&P, they couldn't have been that smart to want to afford a lifestyle their main occupation could not afford. Does anyone dream of being a WG?

Dittany: I agree that it's a topic which polarises views (and have no objection to people expressing their views strongly).
I think it's worth discussing, too.

I dont agree, I would like a life style that my teaching salary cannot afford. When "prostituting" myself to my partner that is exactly what I was doing. I was earning £25-£30k a year but living in a riverside apartment, amassing a Louis Vuitton collection and spending a few months a year swanning up and down Worth Avenue. I was not stupid, greedy yes, selfish yes, a spoilt bitch definetly.

The teachers and nurses I know of who worked as escorts were doing it because

1. One was newly single and could not afford her mortgage on her own.
2. Another one was someone like me who mixed in circles where people tended to earn more, she was sick of having to turn down invites or rely on charity.
3. Another one was doing a few escort jobs a month so she could spend more time on her medicine degree.

I dont think any of them dreamed of being as prostitute but because it was something they did every now and again it was not something that defined them. I also do not think they were in long term relationships at the time.
Again I repeat I am not saying this is a life choice to be admired or emulated.

I suppose divineintervention there are people who like nice things but love what they do for a living. I teach and love it, I make a difference to society and cannot think of another job that would give me that buzz. I could have done any job I wanted, except perhaps medicine and am certainly not stupid. But it does not mean sometimes I do not want things my wage does not allow for. In the last year I have taken on cleaning jobs in order to pay for things my salary cant provide. That again does not make me stupid

Cote d'azur, I did not say I call them sluts, merely that they are often referred to by that name. When I used the word 'we', it was intended in a general, ie; society, sense, rather than to imply use by any specific person.

OP "I'm sure you can garner enough empathy to understand perfectly well why I don't tell friends, family etc." - Well, of course I know why I wouldn't tell my family I was a prostitute but you haven't answered why you don't. I quite accept that it's not illegal, btw.

But you haven't actually answered the question about why, if it is such a reasonable way for you to earn your living, you are not OK about telling your closest family (except your dh).

In the end, if you are trying to persuade us that being a prostitute is, for you, a perfectly good and reasonable way of making your family's living and that you and your dh and quite content with it, I just don't believe you. I think that you are either lying to us or to yourself.

It would appear most folks have their minds made up.

To answer one direct question:

Christian. How we balance our faith with our sexual practices is personal but in broad terms there is a big difference between love making and other forms of sex for us.

Neither of us are deluded as to the reality for many sex workers however please don't be so closed minded to assume because the horrific tales exist they are the be all and end all of this kind of work.

There are many sex workers who enjoy their work, control their lives and they are often sought out by certain clients. Not everyone wants the cheapest deal even clients are real people with consciences and there are many out there who are not interested in girls forced into this. Married men, business men, shy men etc.

There are nasties out there and our whole time working was always framed by the fear of what might happen but we were lucky, it didn't.

I see little point posting any more. I was going to join in with OFFS as was my wife but there is little debate here just closed minds using aggressive and passive aggressive arguments.

There are many who obviously can't understand people enjoying sex as much as I can't imagine not enjoying it.

OFFS i hope you come back on before i go to bed, because i would love to know why you are trying to glam up the industry when you know in reality, even if you are happy with what you do, and you love it and love the contraol yadda yadda yadda, WHY would you try to make this look appealing and even encouraging for people to go ahead and do this?

HG please dont do this, honestly, in the place you are atm (i have followed your story) you will just mess your head up, for you to be able to go into this and come out with the least damage (i wont say no damage because IMO thats impossible) you need to have a strong head when you go in, maybe that is where i went wrong?

DI i feel offended that you have branded everyone unfortunate enough and desperate enough into the 'stupid' category, i was a sex worker, purely by misfortune, i was not and am now, not stupid. i think it is quite nasty to say that when some people just didnt have any other options, i hadnt wasnt even supposed to be out of school before i started doing it, so didnt have the option to get a well paid job.

I was stupid for doing alot of things but i sold my body rather than mug old ladies or steal from people, it was me i hurt rather than other people.

Hubbie, do you feel sorry for people who don't lead your kind of lifestyle?

Do you think that a sexlife that is not risky or pushes the boundaries and puts life, limb and reputation in danger is less valid than yours?

It seems this "closedmindedness" appears to work both ways then.

I have mostly stayed away from this thread today, but honestly, I have to say:

People who truly enjoy sex don't use it as a commodity. How can you buy and sell something and still value it (value it more than the monetary value that you put on it)?@Hubbie

Your argument is lame.

And I wish there was a bit more honesty, here, and a bit less self delusion and selfish, narcissistic twaddle.

Hubbie, "balancing" your faith with your sexual practices? You are talking about "balancing" Christian faith with selling sex for money. Explaining your lack of explanation by saying that how you do this is "personal" is, I'm sorry, just so much hogwash. I would really like to hear how you think you can reconcile actual Christian faith with being a prostitute. I don't expect you to manage it but I'd love to see you try.

Oh, and I don't read the Daily Mail either.

Mary Magdalane?

"Being a "high end" sex worker", say the title

doesn't sound very high end to me, just seedy and sordid with the op trying to make herself sound broad minded and exciting rather than sad and desperate

one poster earlier had a go at me as I was asking the op why she doesn't tell her children (and never getting an honest answer eg. because she's ashamed), this poster I think doesn't realise the op has teenagers, not young kids and she has to hide her work from them as she knows they'd probably not believe their mum sells herself to men who use her.

SSD several people have explained the distinction between being ashamed of something and knowing that other people will be hostile towards it. Very few parents tell their teenage children the details of their ordinary marital sex lives (in fact, for a parent to tell teenage children that they (parents) enjoy anal sex, or swinging, or dressing up in rubber, would be distinctly peculiar). Most teenagers don't want to believe that their parents have sex at all.

there's a difference between discussing your sex life with your teenager and telling them you sell yourself for sex with strangers for a living

I think the op has to hide what she does for a living from her kids as she is ashamed of what she does, no matter how she tries to dress it up to make it sound

indeed ssd, I do agree with your point....I mentioned it earlier....if this is the op's job and she is not ashamed of doing it, than it's no different than talking about any other Job you do.
If you can't do that, than, I would argue, that you are ashamed of doing the job...otherwise you'd be happy to discuss it...

SSD and fairlady: you think sex is work is shameful. Thta's your issue. Projecting it onto other people just makes you look close-minded.

did the OP get scared away?

hope not, i wanted her to answer my question, this has been playing around in my head since the thread started and i couldnt sleep last night.

I hope the OP isnt a troll, ths subject beng bought up has affected me and would hate for it to've been for kicks.

The original thread was started by the OP
asking for advice about the fact that she had found her husband logging on to sex sites. The thread was proceeding along until Dittany suggested she may be a fantasist, The OP seems to have taken umbrage at that and opened this thread (perhaps unwisely) to challenge Dittany. FWIW having read the OP and your different experiences as a sex worker , I see no reason to doubt the truth of either of your stories.

solid...no...I don't think that....but I think op does...because otherwise she would be happy to be open about it...

Dittany: I have met quite a few men who will happily admit that they have been clients of sex workers - though I think the majority of them are clients of BDSM specialists, and on the fetish scene sex workers and clients and people who are neither all socialise togehter to an extent.
I have also encountered men who pay for sex and talk openly about dong their research and trying to make sure that the women they see are not trafficked or unwilling. I will concede that this is partly because I socialise more with people who are in and around the sex industry or involved in campaigning organisations.
Though isn;t it true that all the city wankers are quite open about their visits to lap-dancing clubs etc? Or (I don't actaully know any city boys) is that an urban myth?