Witness protection in court

[sleepingwiththeenemy]

Hi, as some of you will know, I am due to give evidence at the trial of my ex husband in May. For those who don't, as it stands he is being tried for 11 counts of rape, sexual assault and worse...he may also stand trial for child abuse too if the police can persuade the CPS.
The only thying which has kept me sane throughout this is the fact that I will be able to give evidence from behind a screen, therefore will not have to see him at all. But I've been told now that he is asking for my right to protection to be removed and for me to have to testify face to face. There is a hearing in March to determine whether he can force me to do this or not...it is basicaly up to the judge. But I know I cannot do it if I have to see or be seen by him. I spent 6 years with him, filled with abuse, during which time he abused me in every way possible, and even worse abused my children. It is only the fact that I haven't seen him or heard from him in 18 months that my self confidence has returned but I know that if I have to do this I will become a wreck and be unable to give evidence in a calm way. I feel sick now just thinking about it. For the first time since this all began I am doubting my wisdom in agreeing to testify against him. My normal composure is now shot to f**k and I am never far from tears...I've been proud of the way I've managed to deal with it all - by rights I should be weaving baskets in a padded cell by now - but this is a massive blow.

Thankyou Fiagrace :)

BitofFun...MN really is an amazing resource, and as cliched as it sounds I gained an enormous amount of strength from it. The only reason I haven't posted for a long while is because I was 'putting the past to bed' as it were; now I feel able to move forward and wanted to let everyone who supported us know that I've come through the other end smiling and happy. Me and the DCs. I'm amazingly proud of them all.
Also to let anyone who is going through the horrors of domestic abuse know that you really CAN get through it, and life can be good again, better actually than it was before.

I'm so pleased you are all happy and living the life you deserve. I have often thought of you and am so glad that you have come back to let us know how things are going.

btw love the new name.

I'm going to need your positive thoughts again though ladies. I had an abnormal smear test which called for a biopsy. The results of that came back as 'cell changes', so on Oct 12 I have to go into hospital to have the affected cells burnt away from my cervix. I think I am more worried about the four injections I need to numb it first than the actual procedure .
Good news is that the letter said that there is no evidence of serious disease, but it could progress into cancer if untreated. Thank God for smear tests!

HWL I haven't really posted, but I have followed your story from the start.

I just wanted to wish you luck and send you lots of positive thoughts. I have been through the same proceedure, it's not pleasant, but you will get through this and, as you say, it's far better to know now, than have it progress to far worse. Thank God for smear tests indeed! x

HWL, so, so proud of you Really wonderful that things have improved so much, you are an amazing woman. Well done your DD for pulling it off too, she sounds like a smart cookie.

As far as abnormal smear results, I had one before DD was born and went in for a colposcopy. It was still awfully sensitive under local, so I had it rescheduled so I could have the procedure under general and have to report that all was well. You then need more frequent smears for a while, which is irritating and undignified, but better than the alternative!

Happywithlife says it all. Thanks for giving us such a good update and well done for taking control and moving away from it all.
Fingers crossed about your newhappylife.

Re; cervix cells you are doing the right thing, just think you will be healthy and happy after that.

Just another point to illustrate how far we've come. I had a letter today from DD1s school which began 'what a pleasure it is to write so early on in the year to share the good news that your child has exceeded her target grade in her first year 11 exam...'
I could have cried. During all the abuse, and in the aftermath she had completely lost her way, was failing miserably at school, in with a bad crowd and had no interest in learning at all. So to get this letter meant more to me than it might to another parent whose circumstances are different. I am SO proud of her, and of my other 2 as well . Just wanted to share. x

So glad that things have turned around for you and your DCs, Happy.

So happy to hear about your new life and how well your lovely children are doing.

You'll be fine with the procedure. It's nothing compared with the much bigger cancer you cut out of your life.

It's wonderful to hear how much your DD1 has improved and settled, I remember you despairing about her a while ago, must make you proud to see her come out that dark time so well. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes, isn't it?

And you did that, you made it better. You are an awesome Mama and brave woman

Thanks everyone .

If nobody minds I'd like to let this thread die a death now and just slide down the site til it's out of sight. I resurrected it to let everybody who remembered the original threads know that we're ok, more than ok and living a good, happy life.
I've done that now, so would like to draw a line under that part of our lives, and look forward. It feels like it's almost another life, a previous life, and I no longer want to dwell on the past, or let it in on any part of our future now. It has no place in our lives anymore

Here's to the future, and happiness, health, family and good friends - the things that really matter.

xx