Witness protection in court

[sleepingwiththeenemy]

Hi, as some of you will know, I am due to give evidence at the trial of my ex husband in May. For those who don't, as it stands he is being tried for 11 counts of rape, sexual assault and worse...he may also stand trial for child abuse too if the police can persuade the CPS.
The only thying which has kept me sane throughout this is the fact that I will be able to give evidence from behind a screen, therefore will not have to see him at all. But I've been told now that he is asking for my right to protection to be removed and for me to have to testify face to face. There is a hearing in March to determine whether he can force me to do this or not...it is basicaly up to the judge. But I know I cannot do it if I have to see or be seen by him. I spent 6 years with him, filled with abuse, during which time he abused me in every way possible, and even worse abused my children. It is only the fact that I haven't seen him or heard from him in 18 months that my self confidence has returned but I know that if I have to do this I will become a wreck and be unable to give evidence in a calm way. I feel sick now just thinking about it. For the first time since this all began I am doubting my wisdom in agreeing to testify against him. My normal composure is now shot to f**k and I am never far from tears...I've been proud of the way I've managed to deal with it all - by rights I should be weaving baskets in a padded cell by now - but this is a massive blow.

RubyRuby...I am fully expecting that to come. I have been warned already that I will be pulled to pieces on the witness stand by the defence...because it is a rape trial I will have my past relationships, things I confided in him about, laid out for all to see. I know it will crucify me, but I can do it IF I don't have to see him sitting there watching me, and smirking at me, and threatening me.

Hi Sleeping , I have posted on your threads before and as always think you have been, and continue to be incredibly brave and strong.
I think he is just playing games and hoping you will drop out. He knows your witness evidence is strong and will be his downfall. I don't imagine for a minute the judge will decide to make you testify face to face, but it might give the judge a good insight into the sick person he is that he is requesting it.

I have followed your threads and just want to say stay strong there seems to be lots of suggestions for organisations that may be able to hel on here, and surely any judge will be able to see what he is trying to do hugs

hoe you dont mind but this was swte original thread

I am new to your threads but also wanted to say you have been incredibly brave and by bearing witness you will make sure that that monster is paying for what he's done to you and your dc (at least a little bit, I'm sure he's a dark twisted fucker that doesn't know how much hurt he has caused).

I would also say that I'm sure the judge will rule infavour of you being allowed to use a screen as slayerette already mentioned at the top.

It's so hard to say much more because I don't know your story but please, please don't let him continue to haunt you and have power over you. Yo sound incredibly strong, with a will to live and make a new life for yourself and your loved ones. Don't give him the power to shatter your future. You have come so far, you will triumph over him, the moment you are hauled into court you should only focus on that. No one judges you for your past!!! The things you trusted him with, the past lovers you confessed, the dreams you had. The only thing that counts is the crimes he comitted against you and others. You are not the accused, HE is!

I'm sure that there would be something that you could help with, even from the other end of the country. Give her a call, explain that you want to help and why you want something to focus on. It might be something as simple as writing out the place names, or decorating cards for the place names, or even making some thank you cards for her to send out so that she can send something that is appropriate to her and her wedding but doesn't have to worry about them at the moment and will not need to have them until the day. Or decorate an album for her to put some of the non-official photos that are taken on the day.

Wasn;t the law changed a year or two ago to allow witnesses better protection after another rape trial where the defendent conducted his own defence, wearing the clothes he had worn during the attack and cross-examined the victim in revolting detail... I doubt that you will have to stand there unprotected Sleeping - and every time you hear something else crappy that he has done, say to yourself, more evidence in my favour of what a horrible criminal he is. Because all this bullying unreasonable behaviour is piling up so much evidence against him.

Well, I'm back with renewed vigour and determination! That bstard ruined my life, and stole my children's childhoods, it should be him cowering at the thought of seeing me!!!! So, whatever it takes then bring it on!

SolidGold....I never heard about that...that's terrible! I wouldn't even put that past him as he's 'sacked' a solicitor before and represented himself (this was a civil court though).

that's the spirit SWTE!

Go get 'im!

see, SWTE, we're right!

great minds, ruby!

Well, I had to take DD2 into town with me today as she's off school sick but I had to go shopping as it's DS's birthday and I needed to get his cake etc. I sat on the bus watching her - and silly as it sounds I looked at her little legs swinging from the seat and I got so angry with him for daring to touch her or abuse her. My innocent little girl. And my son is 12 today and I wondered how that happened???? They grow so quickly and I wasn't even allowed to enjoy that. So fk him...let them tear me apart in court, at the end of the trial I know I'll be going home, he's the one in the dock and hopefully going down.

Go Sleeping !!!!!! Harness that anger, and when you are in court, hold it against you like a shield. Nothing he can say can hurt you or them and you are going to keep it that way

And remember, you'll have all of MN behind you - nearer the time, start a thread so that we can post support for you, print it out and keep it in your pocket so that you know thousands of women are out there behind you

Well done for getting this far SWTE, you are an amazing woman with great courage. You sound like you've resolved not to let his bullshit intimidation tactics scare you, I know that takes strength. This is the time to let your fury out, it'll help you see and fight his manipulations for what they are.

Oh good for you - and we'll all be here for support and to keep your strength up when the time comes.

God SWTE, I am so shocked, what has happened to you and your children is terrible. I feel like a right drip for whining on about my 'lesser' stuff on other threads.

I am in total AWE at how strong you are! That man sounds like the most scary and awful piece of shit! I really hope you can feel you have totally escaped from him soon!

I think people have given really good advice about thinking about what he did, feeling the anger and using the anger to focus you on getting him put away where he can't hurt you, your children or anyone else. I hope he goes down for a very long time!

It sounds like he is making a last ditch attempt to feel some control, by doing things that will intimidate you, which I agree with others, will just show him up even more as an evil, manipulative, controlling bastard and won't get him anywhere.

Re the defence bringing up stuff from your past - nothing you have done is anywhere near as bad as what he has done, try to remember that and not let them make you doubt yourself.

Sleeping, I have read your other thread over the course of today and I am so very humbled. You have been through so much, have been knocked down time and time again and yet you always manage to get back onto your feet again.
I have bookmarked the thread, so that if I'm ever feeling sorry for myself I can mentally slap myself. You are absolutely inspirational.
I know it's easy for me to say, but after everything you've survived so far, you can get through this court case because you are strong and he is a snivelling little worm. He may be desperately trying to snatch back a little control, but you have beaten him. Just keep thinking of how good it will feel when he finally has his freedom taken from him and you are finally completely free of him

Have found out that he is also requesting that my video evidence be dismissed. This means that instead of the most distressing part of my evidence being presented by means of video shown to the jury, he wants me put on the stand for hours and be made to recount every detail in person there and then. Unfortunately the police seem to think that he has a good chance of winning this application. He still has control. I am so so tired now.
The defence will probably argue that me and his ex wife have concocted this 'story' together so now the prosecution wants permission to access my mobile phone records. It's all so invasive.

Sleeping - you've already gone through this with the police - I know that it will be really difficult for you, but you can do it.

He might be calling some of the shots - but you're really in charge - otherwise he would not be in this position at all.

You are really strong. Think of yourself, think of your children, think of the other families that he might hurt if you don't go through this.

You've got MN all rooting for you.

I know. And I'm not going to give up now, I fully intend to see this through to the end. But it's just so exhausting. I have to believe that he will be convicted and there will be an end to this in May.

hi, I haven't had a chance to read all the threads, but hope you've drawn some strength from the messages. It is so terrible that after everything he has put you through that he is putting you through this, but his behaviour just shows why you need to find the strength to go to court. As other people have said, he can 'request' as much as he likes, it doesn't mean he will get it.

your story hit a nerve as I soon have to go to court to give witness evidence as a victim (although nothing really terrible happened, as I luckily escaped in the nick of time), and I was this evening worrying about that and the thought of re-living it, but your story has put it into perspective for me. I really hope that May brings an end to it all and wish you all the best for the future.

That's the attitude! Keep strong, keep talking to us here, and we'll try to help whenever and however we can... {{{{swte}}}}