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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Witness protection in court

212 replies

sleepingwiththeenemy · 25/02/2009 08:49

Hi, as some of you will know, I am due to give evidence at the trial of my ex husband in May. For those who don't, as it stands he is being tried for 11 counts of rape, sexual assault and worse...he may also stand trial for child abuse too if the police can persuade the CPS.
The only thying which has kept me sane throughout this is the fact that I will be able to give evidence from behind a screen, therefore will not have to see him at all. But I've been told now that he is asking for my right to protection to be removed and for me to have to testify face to face. There is a hearing in March to determine whether he can force me to do this or not...it is basicaly up to the judge. But I know I cannot do it if I have to see or be seen by him. I spent 6 years with him, filled with abuse, during which time he abused me in every way possible, and even worse abused my children. It is only the fact that I haven't seen him or heard from him in 18 months that my self confidence has returned but I know that if I have to do this I will become a wreck and be unable to give evidence in a calm way. I feel sick now just thinking about it. For the first time since this all began I am doubting my wisdom in agreeing to testify against him. My normal composure is now shot to f**k and I am never far from tears...I've been proud of the way I've managed to deal with it all - by rights I should be weaving baskets in a padded cell by now - but this is a massive blow.

OP posts:

thesouthsbelle · 03/09/2009 19:14

swte - hope it went as well as can be expected & he got when he deserves. xx

madameDefarge · 03/09/2009 19:19

You have been so brave, and at such a cost to yourself. I am also a long time lurker, but just wanted to say your fortitude and courage are an inspiration. Go Girl!

warthog · 03/09/2009 19:43

swte, been thinking of you. hope all ok.

Original poster

sleepingwiththeenemy · 03/09/2009 21:45

Hi all. Well, what a nightmare, I can't believe what has happened. I was due to appear on Wed morning and they called me that morning and told me I wouldn't be needed til the afternnon as there had been a delay. Wed afternoon I was told all hell had broken loose in court and that the defence were making all kinds of requests and demands and that I wouldn't be called til Thursday morning. By this time I was in pieves emotionally, but then it got worse. They called again to tell me that the trial has been stopped, and that there would be a hearing on 28th Sept to determine whether the 'issues' which had stopped the trial could be resolved... and if they can't the case would be dropped. Dropped???? AFter 2 bloody years of sleepless nights, and putting my family back together, and being humiliated by having my life laid bare to strangers, knowing that that dirty filthy * had abused my baby girl, and now he may not even have to stand trial. No one will tell me anything, no explanation whatsoever. I called the DC in charge and was told I can have no contact with him as he is a witness, so there is absolutely no one to shed any light. I made a 600 mile round trip, sent my kids to stay with their Dad and miss the first day of the new school year, put myself through hell. I'm furious and hurt and confused and now understand why women don't come forward with rape claims.

OP posts:

ditzzy · 03/09/2009 22:02

swte - another lurker here... I'm absolutely speechless. You're such an inspiration to everyone who has read and posted here. I hope you get some answers on what is going on in the morning. I'm sure someone with more experience/knowledge will come along soon, but haven't they changed the law recently so that if cases are dropped on 'techinicalities' then they can be re-charged?

Just hold on in there a little bit longer - 28th Sept another 4 weeks away, but compared to how long you've already waited, that is nothing

madameDefarge · 03/09/2009 22:05

Oh, SWTE, does your solicitor not know anything more?

Hold fast, whatever happens, you have done what is right. whether you get the result you would like is another matter. But you have done the right thing. Totally. Absolutely. You might be let down by the system, but you can look your children in the eyes and tell them the truth when is is necessary. That is all that matters.

But don't give up. It might well yet go your way. You need more information.

Thinking so much about you. And so proud of you.

warthog · 03/09/2009 22:08

i can't believe it. i'm just flabbergasted.

HOW can this be ALLOWED to happen? is there no justice?

i am so so sorry.

surely they have to tell you what the bloody hell is going on, since you're a victim of this complete and utter waste of space?

warthog · 03/09/2009 22:09

let me also say that you have not done this all for nothing. the odds will stack up against this bastard.

Original poster

sleepingwiththeenemy · 03/09/2009 22:23

Hi. I don't have a solicitor as I am 'just' a witness. So there really is no one to let me know anything at all. It stinks.

OP posts:

madameDefarge · 03/09/2009 22:35

Just a witness. Oh my god, this system stinks. What can we do to help?

Would it help to have a solicitor to ask the questions for you?

Who represents your children in this? Is it the CPS?

JackBauer · 03/09/2009 22:47

SWTE, I haven't posted before but have been reading posts. I think you are so incredibly brave and brilliant for all you have done/been through.
Please stay strong, as Madame says you have done exactly what needed to be done.
Is there really no-one you can ask to find out what happened? It's just so unfair on you to be left in teh dark.

LobstersLass · 03/09/2009 23:04

Just following up on what madameDefarge said, is it the CPS taking the case? If so can't they tell you specifically what's going on? This is an outrageous situation and I am so cross on your behalf.

Surely they have to let the mother of the children know?

SWTE, please stay strong. I'm sure you must feel hopeless, but you know you've got that strength within you. Try and find it.

madameDefarge · 03/09/2009 23:10

You should have had some kind of witness support bod with you, were they there?

LittleWeePickle · 03/09/2009 23:56

Have also lurked forever on this issue.

Can Women's Aid help you with legal stuff? Perhaps they could subsidise or provide a solicitor to help and advise you?

Brave lady you are. I admire you.

Original poster

sleepingwiththeenemy · 04/09/2009 00:24

Hi, just a quick reply before I go to bed and try to sleep. It was witness care who rang me to tell me, and who told me they couldn't give me any information. I didn't even make it to court, they told me on the phone before I was called. I never met with anyone from witness support at all.
It is the CPS who are taking the case, yes, but I have been told that no one will tell me anything and I have to effectively wait until after 28th September to find out anything more. I feel like I have been treated very shoddily given the distance I had to travel, the disruption to my children, the stress and upset etc. I'm absolutely gutted and disgusted.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 04/09/2009 00:28

You have been treated appallingly- I am horrified! Thinking of you still, and wishing you strength- I hope you get some answers, I really do x x x

DwayneDibbley · 04/09/2009 06:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mammyto1 · 04/09/2009 07:30

SWTE I am completely speechless, I can't believe you are being treated like this.

Do you think you could involve a solicitor now who could help you find out whats going on?

You are one strong lady and my thoughts are with you as always!!

Very un mumsnet but heres a {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}

AccioPinotGrigio · 04/09/2009 18:42

I am so sorry it has turned out this way SWTE. Try to keep strong. I know naff all about legal things but perhaps there is a good reason why you haven't been told anything. For instance, knowing might prejudice your evidence should you eventually be required to take the stand.

Please, please don't lose heart though, you have been so strong so far keep going.

Original poster

sleepingwiththeenemy · 11/09/2009 10:42

Hi. Still heard nothing from the courts/CPS/witness care, but I had a real shock yesterday. I googled his name to see if anything came up and was hit with a newspaper headline all about the trial. I suppose I should have realised it would be in the paper but I didn't, so to see it there, giving his name and address was such a shock. It didn't name me or his ex, just said he was on trial for double rape, and that some of the charges go back to the 1980s.
It also said that he denied the allegations and claimed that me and his ex had put our heads together and made up lies about him. I've had no contact with his ex for nearly 3 years, and I certainly had no idea he had raped her. According to the paper the prosecutor said the abuse bore similarities in both cases.

OP posts:

mammyto1 · 11/09/2009 12:01

Hi SWTE

I don't blame you for being so shocked! So sorry you still are none the wiser as to why the case has been put back again.

Thinking of you loads and really praying he gets the out come he deserves.

MadameDefarge · 12/09/2009 16:38

SWTE, it might be worth calling the reporter who did the piece, they might well have more info for you.

Or, given that the trial up to that point is a matter of public record, you should be able to see what has gone on up to now.

Please please go the CAB and a solicitor....you have children to protect, and to be kept in the dark like this is awful.

Or you could also talk to the police, you said that they had been supportive and helpful in the past? They might well tell you what they know.

pageturner · 12/09/2009 16:52

SWTE - please be careful who you speak to, ie a reporter. If it comes out in court that you have been given information from other parties, your evidence may come across as tainted. Go carefully. I'm wishing you all the love and strength in the world.

SixtyFootDoll · 12/09/2009 17:00

No swte dont spk to the press, could cause all sorts of problem.
Sorry that his has happened, the Court process is appalling, has no respect for victims at all, is all in favour of the defendant.
Your ex is pulling every trick in the book to un nerve you and put you off giving evidence.
I wouldnt be at all surprised that when the trial goes ahead and hee sees that you have turned up, he will plead on the day.
He prob thinks you are not brave enough to go through it.
Stay strong. I wish you all the best, I posted on your original thread - but had a different name then cannot rmember what i was though.

MadameDefarge · 12/09/2009 17:28

Hm, yes, you are probably right about talking to the reporter..even if you did it off the record.

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