Witness protection in court

[sleepingwiththeenemy]

Hi, as some of you will know, I am due to give evidence at the trial of my ex husband in May. For those who don't, as it stands he is being tried for 11 counts of rape, sexual assault and worse...he may also stand trial for child abuse too if the police can persuade the CPS.
The only thying which has kept me sane throughout this is the fact that I will be able to give evidence from behind a screen, therefore will not have to see him at all. But I've been told now that he is asking for my right to protection to be removed and for me to have to testify face to face. There is a hearing in March to determine whether he can force me to do this or not...it is basicaly up to the judge. But I know I cannot do it if I have to see or be seen by him. I spent 6 years with him, filled with abuse, during which time he abused me in every way possible, and even worse abused my children. It is only the fact that I haven't seen him or heard from him in 18 months that my self confidence has returned but I know that if I have to do this I will become a wreck and be unable to give evidence in a calm way. I feel sick now just thinking about it. For the first time since this all began I am doubting my wisdom in agreeing to testify against him. My normal composure is now shot to f**k and I am never far from tears...I've been proud of the way I've managed to deal with it all - by rights I should be weaving baskets in a padded cell by now - but this is a massive blow.

I think of you often. Hope you're ok.

Hi everyone. Sorry I've not updated for ages. Well, he lost his appeal to have screens removed, so at least I can give evidence without seeing him; I can almost fool myself into thinking he's not there. That's assuming his friends and family aren't in the public gallery!
It's only 5 weeks til the trial now, and I'm getting really nervous but am also very impatient to get it all over and get on with my life. I have promised myself a present when it's all over - perhaps a very symbolic tattoo (I have 2 already so it's not an impulsive thing, LOL). I want something there to constantly remind me of what we've survived and what we've achieved.
This should make you laugh...I told you he had cross petitioned me in the divorce? Well, it's set to go to court but his reasons for HIM divorcing ME are, apparently, bestiality!!!!!! LMAO...even my solicitor laughed when she told me. He tried the lesbian angle, and now he's going for this instead! I was absolutloey furious when she told me, it's such a vile thing to be accused of, but now I think he's just making himself look a complete arse.
I have to travel to the court soon to have a look around, so it will be familiar on the day, and witness care are supposed to be contacting me soon. Also the DC in charge is travelling up to see me soon, to show me my video evidence again to refresh my memory as it's a year ago I was interviewed. So it's all systems go from now til the trial.

So glad to hear his appeal failed, glad they saw his bullying tactics for what they are.

I doubt he'll have friends and family in the gallery, your testimony is probably not something he wants them to hear. If they are there, then at least they'll hear your side too. Just remember, if they're still standing by him then they're not worth a moment of your time or worry.

Tatoo idea sounds awesome, what were you thinking of?

LMFAO at bestiality and lesbian claims, what a piece of work! He sounds like a petulant spurned teenager. He perceives you're rejecting him, so obviously you prefer women and animals, that's the only possible explanation for you rejection a steaming hunk of manhhod like him eh? LMFAO! You're right he is making himself look like a total arse, and everyone will see through it.

Stay strong, you're in the home stretch and you've done amazingly well.

Keep us posted, we're all rooting for you and here for support when you need us.

(((HUGS)))

Wishing you strength, SWTE. I've been following your story since the beginning, and you've done amazingly well up to now. You can do it my love, you are so close. I hope he gets what's coming to him.

So glad to hear that you're still standing strong, SWTE.

I will be checking for updates and sending you positive thoughts.

x.

Thanks all, I'm amazed that you are still following my story!
Re the tattoo...I'm not sure yet. I may go and talk to the tattooist and see what they can come up with, I want it to be unique and to almost tell a story. I think maybe it should include a phoenix...you know, coming up from the ashes again. But it also has to be pretty, to signify that he hasn't turned everything ugly and my life really is beautiful, despite him.
Any ideas?

I do like the Phoenix idea.

Lotus flowers have many symbolic meanings, but one of them that I like is the Egyptian interpretation of rebirth. Other interpretations are beauty arising from the mud, enlightenment, etc. Plus, it's pretty flower with clear and easily tattooed outlines! This tattoo website has a nice breakdown of all its meanings- Lotus Symbolism

Ugh, just scrolled down the tattoo website. i don't like their examples. I'd find a nice pic online and get them to tattoo that. Like these-

www.supercoloring.com/wp-content/thumbnail/2009_01/lotus-illustration-1-coloring-page.jpg

www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/780262/2/istockphoto_780262-lotus-vector.jpg

www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3561126/2/istockphoto_3561126-dragon-fly-lotus.jpg

www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2804557/2/istockphoto_2804557-mehndi-lotus-collection-vec tor.jpg

Only just seen this but wanted to say if you get in touch with Victim Support there will be someone who can be with you all the time you are at court and also sit right behind you when you are giving your evidence - someone who is just there to support you 100%.
An acquaintance of mine had this when she had to go to court in similar circumstances to yours, and said it was incredibly reassuring and got her through.

Good luck and stay strong. You sound amazing and the tattoo idea is fab! Xx

Thanks for taking the time to update us. So pleased to hear that his appeal failed.

His claims really are quite ridiculous. The court will see straight through them.

The tattoo idea is inspired.

Stay strong for the trial. You can do it and he'll deserve everything he gets.

swte - i followed your earlier threads and I wanted to add my support to that of the other's here. At the risk of sounding like the old hippy that I am, the Universe will not allow this man to triumph. Karma's coming for him. And for you the Universe will provide the strength you need for your court appearance.

Maybe start some visualisation techniques. Each day picture yourself in the witness box and imagine that you are giving a powerful testimony. Your back is straight, your head is up, your voice is clear and strong. You know what you are saying is the truth. You look the defence barrister in the eye and you are not intimidated. Visualise the moment your testimony ends - you leave the box feeling confident, you know you did well. You leave the court, the fresh air hits your face, you're job is done and you KNOW he's going down.

Best of luck and I will be thinking of you over the next few weeks, sending strength your way.

I've just spent two hours reading all your posts sleeping. What a bloody amazing person you are. Your kids are so lucky to have you in their life, championing their every step.

I can't pretend to be able to offer any kind of advice, just that you are in my thoughts and I wish you every bit of luck and love over the forthcoming challenges xx

Like Ineedmorechocolatenow, I have been reading your other threads for a few hours.

I stand in awe of you.

It's me again! Well, it's getting frighteningly close now...the trial starts in 3 weeks. It's been a long time coming - 17 months since I reported him and the investigation began.
Witness care have been in touch, and they sent the police around to mine to take a victim impact statement...if he's found guilty this could mean the difference between a light and harsh sentence. The police should be driving up from my old town to let me watch my video statement...as it's been a year since I gave my statement it will refresh my memory.
On a personal level, I've been really looking after my health...I've lost shed loads of weight through healthy eating and going to the gym, and some of my old nutty confidence is coming back at last . I wore a pair of trousers today which I bought over a year ago and have never been able to get past my thighs!!!
Anyway, I'll keep you updated and let's just hope and pray he's found guilty. x

sleepingwiththenemy Just been lurking and wanted to send my good thoughts to you and your kids x

You sound like you're doing great, my love - hang in there, not long now!

Sleeping I have been follwing you from the start, I did disclose some very personal things about myself on the old thread under a different name so don't want to say who I was. I just want to say that I wish you the all the luck in the world with the court case and you have never been far from my thoughts. xox

Thanks everyone. mammyto1...I remember - how are you?

Hi there SWTE. I too have followed your story and I am another of your cheerleaders. You can do this. You WILL get through this. You are already stronger. Well done on the weight loss and healthy you programme.

I laughed at the bestiality claim! I am sure the courts will too. He sounds completely bonkers - hopefully he will go away for a long time.

I am very well sleeping, thank you for asking. You have come on so much and I am glad you have found the strength to pick yourself up, lose weight and actually start to enjoy life again. Keep us posted on how you get on at the court case. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

So glad to hear your confidence is returning SWTE I admire your courage. You've been through so much, and have managed to get out and turn it around, kudos!

Sounds like the cops have the situation under control which is reassuring. Are you feeling well looked after?

Keep posting if you need the support, or just to talk about it. I'll be keeping an eye out for your threads, and I know I'm not the only one.

(((HUGS)))

Am gutted. Just had a call to tell me that the trial has been postponed til September. All they could tell me is that something has ome to light which needs investigation. Is this never going to end?????

Oh god, I'm so sorry. What a bloody nightmare for you. No advice, but please keep hanging in there.

Ugh! What the hell?

I'm so sorry to hear about this SWTE, it can't be easy to be all psyched up for the trial and then have it fall away from you like that.

Do you think that they've uncovered further complaints against him?

I can't post too much right now as my keyboard is buggered (DH was "cleaning" it). Will post later. Stay strong, you've been doing so well, there's no reason why you can't continue to go onwards and upwards.