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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

2 My 14 year old daughter has made a statement to the police that my husband has been inappropriatley touching her and making s

293 replies

hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 02:13

what happened there??

OP posts:
Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:33

It says 7 working days from the initial referral to SS.

Almost everything you've told us about the procedure sounds wrong HAW. You need to contact NSPCC and talk to them in detail about what has happened so that they can advise you properly. As soon as possible.

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:33

yes scrooged i wll!! asap as he lives next door!!

OP posts:
scrooged · 21/02/2009 03:34

That's lawyers for you! sorry, I know it's not helping.
I have already written above what it is that you should do. I really do need to go to bed.

Night.

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:34

yes moles. will i be able to access all this stuff from you lot tomorrow too?

OP posts:
lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 03:35

Initial Assesment HAS to be completed within 7 days!!!
Core assesment gets a 38 day limit.
Your LA is surely going to get special measures OP!!"!"
Shame for yuor DD who seems forgotten in all this - NOT what LORD LAMING expected!!!!

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:35

bye scrooged thankyou

OP posts:
lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 03:36

Sorry typo, 28

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:36

yes lesson, my poor dd is being ignored by those that should protect her

OP posts:
scrooged · 21/02/2009 03:36

I knew there were time limits! I'll have to hunt the paperwork out tomorrow and have a refresh. Oh joy!

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:38

let me know too please scrooged, not that it changes much from my end

OP posts:
Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:41

The school nurse should have reported it to SS within 24 hours and then SS have 7 days to do their initial assessment. It doesn't seem to match what has actually happened in your case HAW, but then again you may not have been fully informed by the various agencies, and I really don't think it's a good idea to put too much detail on this thread.

This is why I think you must talk it over in detail and in confidence with a trained person. You can arm yourself with info from the internet. That Devon website seems to have detailed, comprehensive, up-to-date information on it.

If your dd maintains that what she has said is the truth, you would be quite wrong to encourage her to drop the charges.

lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 03:42

Suddenly the OP is well versed in the Childrens Act and The ECM process???
Are you also keeping up with the acronyms and mn nuances?
Have you even cast a thought to what is going through your DDs head? Or preparing to attack anyone who is potentially nobbling her day in court, OP?????

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:43

school nurse informed immediatley as far as i know,that was 26th i thnk

OP posts:
Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:46

lesson leave it out!! what the hell am i well versed in now??? all i have done all night is ask for your help and all yopu have done is taken the piss,
who wouold nobble, double b lesson, her day in court
smart arse not so smart eh???

OP posts:
lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 03:46

Oh FFS, did I hear you right OP - he is resident NEXT DOOR????
WTF!!!!!

Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:47

No, the MP lives next door.

And the nobbling refers to the counselling contaminating evidence, I think.

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:47

yes my mp is, not my husband!! mp as in member of parliament???

OP posts:
Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:49

Really need to go to bed - that last post was sentence 1 @ lesson and sentence 2 @ HAW.

Are you going to call NSPCC (or Childline or one of the other orgs) within the next 24 hours HAW?

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:49

thanks moles, i was getting a bit confused there

OP posts:
Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:50

yes moles!! just had a txt msg from my dd to say she is scared i am going to have one of those breakdown thingies!! so yes, i need to do something pdq!!

OP posts:
lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 03:53

Awww you are such a victim in all this, OP, that my heart would bleed (if it wasn't for my hardhat)!
FWIW I think you are....
Thanks for keeping me in the loop molesworth! I do sometimes get overemotional.....for a hardnosed b*

Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:54

Maybe it will feel a little bit easier to call them now that you have something 'practical' to talk about (i.e. the way the case is being handled) before moving into the more emotional side of things, which I know is far harder to put into words. I'm not saying the practical stuff is more important, of course. The most important thing is to support your daughter. And please reconsider this dropping charges business.

Molesworth · 21/02/2009 03:56

Thank you lessonlearned for all the legal information you've given us - although this has happened to my family I had no idea about the law relating to Child Protection. I just put it all in the hands of the police and never questioned their procedure (although in light of what you've told us, the procedure was right, fortunately).

Original poster
hurtandworried · 21/02/2009 03:57

yes moles it will, before all this i couldnt have even constructed a sentence
and lesson, fuck off, i really hope you are never in this situation but if you are i hope you find somone just like you to offer you some guidance

OP posts:
lessonlearned · 21/02/2009 04:01

Ta, op or Dh

Hope you had lots of fun tonight!