2 My 14 year old daughter has made a statement to the police that my husband has been inappropriatley touching her and making s

[hurtandworried]

what happened there??

This thread is another fucking disgrace. I still wonder what on earth is/has happened to the three year old whose mother posted recently and received much the same treatment.

Shame on you.

This kind of this does happen - ALL THE TIME. I would never post anything like this on MN if I was in a similar situation after seeing these threads. Sod your 'emotional energy' - when there are children involved that comes second, and is no justification for turning on a poster like this. Very, very disappointing and actually quite depressing.

I hear you both. I'm still not sure but I tend to think LL had real concerns and if she works in the field then good for her. Not that I understood a word of it myself.

on a possibly inappropriate note, I'm having trouble believeing anyone could be on that dodgy a connection for fourteen hours straight without chucking their PC out of the window...although of course none of us knows how we would behave in that situation.

i had a much more tame thread in chat recently, i have posted here regularly for three years and didnt name change.....but as the subject involved police and child protection all i got was screams of 'troll!'

there are some inconsistencies in this thread but tbh its the mumsnetters that look more shameful today

what the hell has happened on mn that its turned to this, when mnhq said they werent deletingcouldnt everyone just back off

Also looking at it another way - she did have masses of support initially - really masses, with nobody shouting troll.

what we were able to offer subsequent to that, well I can't think of anything - that's where it started to get complicated as people were trying to offer technical advice, and it proved impossible to do that as those in a professional capacity couldn't figure out the RL chronology.

At this point most people would probably have signed off saying 'thanks for all the support, I will contact so and so' and then come back for some more support later on when other stuff had happened in the case. But it just carried on and on and on long after any of us here could help.

Littleducks I'm sorry that happened to you. As I said before I withdrew a thread regarding something else pretty tame after being doubted.
I am just not sure it is the place. OP was provided with many RL links for actual proper technical and emotional support.

I saw your thread too littleducks.

There is no justification for the vitriol here - who cares if she kept coming back? who cares if she had a dodgy connection??

All that's been proven here is that someone in her position won't get any support here.

It's a bloody disgrace.

does anyone remember the 'sleepingwiththeenemy' threads, if she had gotten a first response like this she wouldnt have been back would she?

mn has really changed and i dont think it something to be proud off

LD have just looked at your thread

It does sound implausible but I know from experience how implausible police actions can be

so I'd have believed it

Although I wouldn't have if you had turned round at the end of it and said 'You lot are all smart arse bastards, fuck right off'.

IYSWIM

Yes, I remember her thread too. Drip drip of info, disbelief, confusion, etc etc. She would have run a mile if this had been the reaction she got.

But you didn't

x post

IMO nothing can justify LL's aggression on this thread.

I would have too flight!

Yes, FA she did get info, she got links, she got advice....

So perhaps she didn't sign off at the point because she needed support, to talk it through, hash it out, needed to be helped to see the wood for the trees etc.

I imagine when your supporting a child thru this it is emotional hell & I would think that a bit of cyber hand holding would be needed/wanted/helpful.

Yes, she told LL to fuck off, but not before she said 'please help me LL' (paraphrasing)... very sad turn of events, imo!

*you're

LL was totally out of order on this thread.

Yes Sand, that's possible...you can look at it both ways. I suppose we'll never know.

True, FA. I just hope OP gets the help they need.

Just to stick my oar in as I've been lurking on this thread, I agree with Pottycock and dittany and the others who have said there is no justification for what happened here.

I also think that just because someone's information doesn't entirely add up, doesn't necessarily mean that it's all a lie. They may be withholding or changing parts of their story because they don't want to cast themselves in a bad light, or as dittany says, they may not want to admit things to themselves. This doesn't mean they don't need advice and support.

There have been some brave and inspiring posts from people who have survived abuse themselves - it's the best and worst of mn on one thread.

What the blxxxy hell is going on with mumsnet these days. I have been a member for five years and am disgusted with the core of bullying and reprehension that seems to have gotten worse over the past ten months or so. Moderators if your about - I think it is time for a mass email reminding everyone of exactly what mumsnet is about.

It is not an argumentative or nasty site for people to take their frustrations at the world on. We get enough of that in real life. It is a place where we offer opinions and discuss issues - not isolate possibly vulnerable new members and you certainly dont scream troll in such serious circumstances without evidence.

To the women guilty of this. There are lots of bitchy, nasty sites out there where you can slag people off to your hearts content. Mumsnet is not one of them. Please feel free to visit those.

I think people were afraid in case it was someone other than what we were told

To be talking to someone who is possibly (and nobody knew) an actual abuser, is an extremely disturbing thought - personally I'm not thinking it was a troll, but if itw asn't whoever it said it was, there is the possibility it was the male in the story, or another person looking for advice on how best to exonerate themselves.

We don't know, and we never will. But if there is a measure of doubt raised by those who work daily in the profession, and must therefore have a sense of whether someone sounds plausible in the circs given - and also cares enough for victims of abuse to have a job in that field - then I am very very uncomfortable sharing my thoughts and support with the poster in question.

I hope that makes some sense. I don't think it was an entirely fabricated story, just possibly - and not certainly - not all that it seemed.

Flight that does make sense but the people who work in that field would also know that any sense of suspicion would send the op running for the hills. An abuser who was manipulatig as a way to exonerate themselve would not draw so much attention to themselves. And tbh, whilst much of the attention was good, some of the interrogation, which is the only thing it could be called, were it to be handled by professionals, would see them up on charges of misconduct. And i know that to be fact. I think a rule of thumb has to be that if you feel uncomfortable offering support or advise just dont. Dont make a big deal of it or draw attention to how you feel, its irrelevant. Mkae the point that you dont feel able to continue on the thread then leave it. Dont hound and push and bully (which I am not saying you did but there was certainly a lot of it). Noone has to post on a thread and after seeing that i am giving serious thought to leaving mumsnet. It isnt what it used to be and that is not a good thing.

I do see what you mean Prettyfly. I'm sorry for my part in it (all after she had left the thread, but could have been reading) but wanted to try and do the right thing - I hate the fact people were trying so hard to help they were hurting themselves iyswim.

It would be a sadder place without you - hope you don't go.