2 My 14 year old daughter has made a statement to the police that my husband has been inappropriatley touching her and making s

[hurtandworried]

what happened there??

They're not deleting btw.

Becuase, Dittany, they are posting about a very delicate subject and potentially causing upset to our genuine posters. It is not a light-hearted trolling exercise and is potentially rather sinister.

i followed all the thread, I can't see any inconsistencies. I did see some people who think they know it all, trying to turn things around and pick up on teeny things (which if they had read it properly, they would have seen didn't exist anyway) It has been nasty (as usual)

People should only share what they are comfortable with sharing, whether to a real person or not. Are we saying it is only ok to share personal things if we are 100% sure the person is genuine? How can we be sure?? We can't, whether it is someone talking of deep hurt or anal sex with kitchen implements. If it hurts to share, don't share it!

Soon, no one will come here for support, they will be scared to speak. This place (I thought) was a place that gave help, support, advice and some nice times, it won't be for much longer. It will be full boring chit chat.

If just one person gains from a conversation like this one, then it is worth it. Many people sadly go through this sort of thing, someone else reading today may be but they are now too scared to voice their feelings. That is tragic and only the troll hunters are to be blamed. Walk away if you think it is bullshit, stop ruining mumsnet

I, for one, did not engage with this poster at all. I have read both threads and given my considered opinion.

My concern is for the people upset by this person who I am convinced is not genuine.

I'm not normally a troll hunter.
Pointng out inconsistencies and out of date information is putting things in proper perspective for the benefit of anyone who could end up seriously misled.

dittany, I think you have hit the nail on the head about disturbed due to subject matter

I sat last night and thought what I would think if one of my daughters said their father had abused them. I can't stand exh but I would be torn and want to find the absolute truth as he is a fantastic father. I can see how someone would be struggling. I think this has made many question their own feelings and thoughts if such a terrible thing were to happen and they have just stuck head in sand and decided the whole story is shite

I just hope this family find a way to rebuild in whatever way is needed cos one thing is for sure, this family is now shot to pieces

I don't think that it is always apparent at the outset of a threat whether it is a troll or not. It took me some time last night to come to that conclusion and overnight to come to the conclusion that the OP was most likely male. People offered a lot of support to the OP, most of it constructive. If the OP was genuine then I'm amazed that they were on here posting continuously from 2pm to 4am with 5 teenagers in the house including her dd and her dd's boyfriend.

I disagree about one person benefitting making all worthwhile argument. I think more genuine MNetters were hurt by last night's stuff than were helped. I think this and the other threads should be deleted but if they aren't I know of someone who has already asked and had their posts deleted because of the pain of what they shared to someone they originally thought was genuine.

Reality.... - she hasn't answered most of my posts actually. She is very selective about whom she answers.

Just feel about this whole thing.

I think this is a vile, vile thread. FWIW I believe the OP is genuine and some of the trollhunting harpies who have posted on this thread should be ashamed of themselves.

lesson, you may be up to date with procedure but most famillies aren't. So they will go along with what they are told by SS and police.

Due you really think average people would be looking up law and terminology after some like this?? SS can fuck up, so can the police, are you saying this can't happen??? Are you saying that a family should know the difference between the different kinds of meetings?? Cos I know I wouldn't.

If you were talking to another person in the field then fair enough. This was a mother who up to 3 weeks ago thought her family was fine, she had a husband she loved and children that were happy with their stepfather, now she has uncertainty and the job of holding it all together for a vunerable teenager. Your tone was nasty lesson, and it didn't come across as trying to protect others, just that you know it all, so they must be lying. Not nice, not nice at all

I asked for the thread to be deleted yesterday evening, and Dittany, I haven't "engaged" at all with this whole 24hr saga beyond reading it. Some people have been very seriously upset, even if they believe the OP, and I don't think we are being very supportive to those mumsnetters by just distancing ourselves from something so exploitative and sinister. I won't stay on this thread, but I couldn't let that go, and I am disappointed that so far MNHQ don't see fit to delete.

SOL, these 'teeny little things' could result in someones evidence about an abuser being thrown out of court!

people jump on the trollhunting bandwagon, one or two say troll, 10 more read that as truth and now belive it to be a story.

Nabster, i understand how much pain you carry but she did answer, the only one I saw that wnet unanswered was will you now believe your daughter 100%. She didn't answer that, and whatever our thoughts on the matter, if she still doesn't believe, we can't tell her to, it has to come from her and she shouldn't feel she has to turn around and say it for the sake of a few hundred strangers on the internet, so they can feel better.

This isn't unique, we saw yesterday sadly, how many youngster aren't believed. you can't turn belief on, it has to come from inside

Put yourself in her position, how would you be feeling? Sitting up all night, discussing it with strangers is something I would prob do. I also had 5 teens in my house last night, I was also up til 5am, am I lying too??

I never said I didn't think she was genuine.

I was annoyed she didn't answer my posts as I was trying to help and opened myself up more than I should have done.

I just want this resolved either she is genuine or she isn't.

I am not getting into how many posts she did or didn't answer. In my mind she didn't answer things that I felt were important but I have no way of knowing whether she missed them or didn't want to.

It doesn't matter now anyway.

SOL, I'm saying that it is far less likely that a multi agency approach will result in a "fuck up".
That is why it was introduced.

lesson, fair enough point it out in a fair way. How is she supposed to know?? Don't shout her down and accuse her of being a man/DH/abuser...how is that helpful to anyone? You were in no way offering helpful advice about the procedure, you were belittling her for not knowing and concluding that as she didn't know, she was a bullshitter.

I appreciate that, Thank you

I think I am being a bit sensitve and it might be time for another MN break.