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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

BUM LOVE some help and advice from the more experienced please

192 replies

blushingaboutbumlove · 11/02/2009 11:04

i have namechanged for rather obvious reasons.

ok. i want to try anal sex. its something i have been curious about for years but never quite been confident enough to try it.
Im now with someone i trust completly and really want to try it.

i know the whole, make sure your turned on, relax and use lube. but what other hints and tips should i use?

what is the bets position to be in. doggy? misionary? something else?

and most importantly. is there some way in which i could prepare? by that i mean....(this will be way TMI) but i really dont fancy the idea of him coming out with poo on the end

i am cringing like you would not believe .

please help.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/02/2009 20:06

Oh no....

I knew I should have kept away.

homicidalmatriach · 17/02/2009 20:08

'poolet'

Love knows no bounds yet I think if I crapped in DH's gob he might just divorce me!

fattiemumma · 17/02/2009 20:13

d'ya know that despite everything i have read i haven't been put off. but dear lord i am not letting Dp go rimming ever ever again.
i dont care how sweet my "poolets" are!

homicidalmatriach · 17/02/2009 20:17

'poolets': Piglet's less attractive cousin in Winnie the Poo stories.

AnyFucker · 17/02/2009 20:30

fattiemumma, you must carry on the cause !!!! I am still awaiting your updates...

just don't get that pissed relaxed that you let a little one slip out....

or cut out the fibre in your diet

fattiemumma · 17/02/2009 20:35

Im not seeing him tonight or tomorrow so think i will spend the time eating a lot of eggs!

and i shall be staying sober as a judge i think.

it has become a bit of a mission for me now. i feel the pressure of MN awaiting the updates

expatinscotland · 17/02/2009 20:37

This thread should be marketed as an emetic.

OrmIrian · 17/02/2009 21:02

Eggs? Eggs fattiemama?

Nooooo.... you'll gas the poor man!

FairLadyRantALot · 17/02/2009 21:05

oh rofl @ anyfucker

and homicidal, you just made me lol so much...if I had wine I would have spluttered...

oh Fattie...it's almost getting to be like waiting for someone Birthstory now

Oh, and I have you know, I have not had a poolet experience in context with bumlove or love in general....

fattiemumma · 17/02/2009 21:25

aren't eggs meant to make you constipated?
don't worry i shant be eating them for the full entry day...justthe build up. i really dont eant to have a "relaxed" moment in his mouth.

im not sure anyone loves me enough for that!

homicidalmatriach · 17/02/2009 21:57

Apparently Atkins is good for arse lovers on that basis then fattiemumma.

Have a sausage

AnyFucker · 17/02/2009 22:02

homicidalmatriarch, it has come to my attention what a funny person you are

FairLadyRantALot · 17/02/2009 22:26

oh rofl...you are hilarious...

ToughDaddy · 18/02/2009 08:53

Sorry to butt in, but how do we check for piles then (per earlier post)...confused

LucyEllensmummy · 18/02/2009 09:14

with your finger!

sparkyoldbint · 18/02/2009 09:26

Made the mistake of checking in at work and am trying not to expire laughing in front of boss. Am very worried now that he actually did like it and that's why he told me...

Anyway, glad that the word poolet has gone down so well and that my story breathed new life into this thread. Needless to say am never ever ever going to have anal sex of any kind again.

ToughDaddy · 18/02/2009 09:32

Still not sure what you look for LEM.

Sparky- hard for us suburban men to compete; I take cups of tea to DW in bed to show love. Now the poolet thing is raising the bar just a bit.

sparkyoldbint · 18/02/2009 09:44

You could get your DW to look up your bum TD (my ex considered it reasonable to ask me to carry out visual examinations for piles and they're easy to spot) but you might have to do more than make her a cup of tea first. Have you actually got piles?

ToughDaddy · 18/02/2009 10:31

Sparks- no I haven't got "the grapes of wrath"; I don't think but good to raise awareness of bum-science, isn't it?

LucyEllensmummy · 18/02/2009 12:28

if you had piles, you'd know! although they can sit internally - if you feel a bit bumpy up there well then - just poke your finger up and have a feel!! Perhaps if you were to sit a bottle of next to the cuppa you too could go to the next level - although i do agree, poolets [vomit] are above and beyond the call of duty!

LucyEllensmummy · 18/02/2009 12:29

My DP did once give me a microlax enema when i was pregnant and constipated and just found it too difficult to reach at nearly full term - now thats love for you!

sparkyoldbint · 18/02/2009 12:31

glad to see that piles have taken over from poolets

fattiemumma · 18/02/2009 12:33

LEM - your Dh deserves a medal!
i couldn't even get the Xp to give me a fanjo trimming when i was pg.

does anyone remember those posters in the 80/90's? a little by and girl with Love is..... "not boaking when a poolet falls in your mouth whilst rimming".

now that would be one funny poster

sparkyoldbint · 18/02/2009 12:36

haha the op returns! I will text that to DP and tell him how much I love him!

ToughDaddy · 18/02/2009 14:14

Aren't the Poolets (as opposed to the Poos) friends of the Piles?