FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

Hi

My mum is still not out of hospital - she is not ill as such just not able to handle her diabetes on her own any longer so there will be carers coming in to help her. It is quite wearing but i am trying not to get too involved and let my father do what he needs to do. I know i can be a bit of a control freak at times.

Dior hope you are ok

Lilly - your thread has caused quite a stir and there is a real divide.
I agree with what TFM says and try not to let him make you feel guilty for how you feel about it.

Hi to everyone else

Off to london for a few days at the weekend, so better make sure i have my credit cards.

Hi Everyone.
I have posted a thread on FB as I'm too paranoid to put it on here.
Hope everyone is OK and looking forward to the summer hols

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT: dd born 13/7/9 weighing 3lb 10oz (not bad for 30+5 weeks). She is in hospital neonatal unit but doing very well. She is adorable . I am expressing pretty much all day so shattered as well as emotionally wrung out but was discharged from hospital yesterday and it's lovely to be home with ds and dh again (though heartbreaking to be away from dd).
Will catch up properly when I can.

OH LadyL - congratulations. I am glad she hung on long enough. Hope all is going well. Take care of yourself xxx

CONGRATULATIONS LL!!! I am so happy for you, so very happy. You have got your little girl I am so pleased for you.

Hey, we can open the envelope now!!

You take good care of yourself. Lots of love xxx

Congratulations LL.
That's fantastic news - I had a feeling it would be a girl!!!!

Congrats and well done LL

Congrats and well done LL

Thanks everyone - we did open the envelope today and the sonographer was right .
She wrote "female - I think!" I don't think I'd have believed it though, so glad we didn't open it. Off to do last milking duties of the day so good night all x

See LL, even the baby was in a rush to open the envelope, so much so she came early

It's so lovely, I'm really happy for you. Would you be able to post her name? If not on here on FB. I for one want all the details xx

ooohhh

LL massive congratulations would love to know her little name , TFM let me know!
How is she doing ?

HW no i meant how you are so open and thoughtful giving so many people advice on here in relation to your own situation , i just couldn't!

Haven't really discussed it anymore as been away camping this weekend so that yet to come but thanks for advice ladies

Hi ladies (and baby Teabags!)
Hope you are all doing well.
Thanks MacD and TFM for your advice this weekend. I feel a lot more sorted now, still very pissed off with life in general but I'm just putting my head down and getting on with it like we all have to!
Dior - How are things with you? Hope you are OK.
Lilyloo - I saw your thread when it first started and thought I'd posted but it must have vanished into the ether.
Hope everyone is surviving the Summer Hols so far. I am finding it very trying and am actually quite happy to be at work today - I love the little darlings to bits but they really are trying my patience atm

That's probably because you are 'still generally pissed off with life', we tend to be less tolerant of our loved ones when we are feeling discontented. I still stand by what I said on your FB thread , you are too young to be so sensible!

congratulations Lush - oh please let us know the name and details - so glad you got your little girl and hope it wasnt too traumatic.

Sorry i havent been around - went away for a few days but have been ill. Dont think it is swine flu though - just some tummy bug. Though i had starved it out of me and then last night felt dreadful again so its back to water for me for the next couple of days - still good for the weight loss . Feeling better today but a bit weak so have taken my first day off sick in 2 years (although only being part time makes it easier).

My mum is out of hospital now and seems to be doing ok - she will never be her old self though and it is horrible to think it will probably be all down hill from now on. I will be there for my dad though as he will need lots of help now.

How are you dior? We must catch up for that coffee soon - otherwise the holidays will be over too.

Hi to everyone else and i will go on facebook and see what i have been missing .

Hey guys

Anyone still remember me? I don't think I've posted for the best part of a year. But I remember you guys, and am astonished at how you've moved on - especially the ones with babies! Many congratulations. It'll take a long while to read back and see everything that's been happening.

As for myself, I've been having an odd few months: divorce sorted, moved into my own house and thought life was going to be swimming from now on, then got sacked from work because I'd spent too long being depressed! So I've been working on the tribunal appeal with extensive help from the union, and job hunting. Just started a new job last week, in fact, at half my previous salary but also half the commuting and so far a great deal less stress. The tribunal case is due to be heard next month. Oh and as of last Monday I am a mother-in-law! You may spit on me if you wish.

... bah, I said "guys" twice. Probably shouldn't have said it even once. Just pretend I said ladies. Or Teabags. Or amazing godlike beings.

I remember you AGYG!! Gosh, you have been busy yourself. It sounds like you have turned a corner now though and that you are in a good place. Long may it continue! Oh yes, Congratulations on becoming a MIL!

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are all doing ok. I'm trying to pack for our holiday but we still have a house full of workmen so it's rather challenging to say the least. As for Teabags, I', sick of the sight of 'em!! This lot drink far too much tea!

Hello everybody, I saw the thread on "active discussions" and dipped in. Don't know if you remember me. I don't think I've posted for a year either, like AGYG.

AGYG, I remember you too, good to hear things are going so well.

Congratulations on all the babies - Baffy and Ladylush!

Dior, so sorry to hear things are going badly. Like TFM says, you will get through this, I remember she told me 15 months ago to smile, pretend to smile, and soon you will be smiling for real. It takes time, but it works. And the practical advice is good too. Work out what you want and then go for it. And always remember, one day you will have a man who deserves you - if you want one that is!

As for me, things only got better after the hell that was March - July last year. I am divorced now, still in what is now MY house with my boys, exH is engaged to OW, and they have a baby due later this year. All of which I take in my stride now. I realised last summer that we weren't right, and it was possible that his leaving was maybe the best thing that could have happened to me in the long run.

In November, I met a fabulous man (internet dating!), who I've been seeing ever since, we have 4 kids between us, and are seeing more and more of eachother - we call ourselves a "composite family". The kids get on, we are happy, and about to go off on our first holiday together on our own while the exes have the children. Can hardly wait.

I also want to say thank you to you all for the support last year. I felt a little guilty about leaving the thread, but I felt I had to concentrate on sorting me out. I think my story is testament to the "it can be done" and "you are strong" advice that we all get and don't believe at times. It really can be done. I know, because I am so much happier now than I think I have ever been....

Sorry if that's patronising - it isn't meant to be.

Love to you all. UC xx

Hi AGYG and UC - Nice to 'see' you!!
Its great to hear you both sounding so positive and happy.
This thread has gone very quiet - I don't know about everyone else but I'm finding that MN is getting a bit rubbish again lately, don't know if that's just my miserable mood or because its the summer holidays but I don't come on here much at all atm.
Anyway I hope everyone is OK and Baffy and Lush are enjoying their lo's and managing to get some sleep .
I've just spent the afternoon with my friend and her 10 month old baby boy - he's adorable and I'm all clucky again!!
Love to everyone else

Hi UC - yes i do remember you, glad things are going well.
AGYG - congrats on becoming a mil - i think i am sort of looking forward to that - but hope it is a while yet.

Ginnny - come and have mine for a day to help you get over your broodiness . After today i want to be a nun.

Have a great holiday TFM - anywhere nice? And enjoy your builder free time - i too am fed up of men in my house all the time - but i know it will be worth it when it is finished.

Good to hear from UC and AGYG - glad all is well with you both
HW - glad your mum is home, though sorry to hear she is not her former self. Did they sort out her medication?

Hi everyone else I don't want to say her name on mumsnet but if anyone has any ideas as to how I could let you know discreetly, then I'll be happy to fill you all in

Hope Baffy and baby are well. My teeny dd is doing well but still in Neonatal Unit. She is 32+3 and is perfect apart from needing to fatten up. She is full of character already I am finding expressing milk hard work as I don't seem to get much - any experts here?? This is why I am up at this time - in case anyone wonders if I am going mad. Expressing in the middle of the night is supposed to boost prolactin levels

Lush - Yes hopefully mums medication is sorted now -lots of changes though.

No tips for expressing - i could have fed the whole hospital with mine when i went back to work - but ds would not take anything from a bottle so a total waste of time. I ended up feeding him at night and then he would not feed during the day - but hopefully he turned out ok - awaiting GCSE results now - just dont know where that time went.

I will cat you and then if you are happy i can either email a few of the teabags or post it on the private group on FB.

Lush - just tried to CAT you and you have choosen not to allow them - you can either change your options or cat me instead.

Just a very quick hello from me and I will try and read to catch up soon.

Things have been hectic here. Ds2 arrived safe and well on his due date - thanks for keeping everyone posted TFM. Just one hour from the first proper contraction to him being delivered!! I was in shock for a good while! Luckily I was in the hospital though!

They offered for me to go home that afternoon too! I swiftly declined that offer and asked to stay in for the night! I definitely needed some quiet time with the new little man to get my head round it all!

Anyway, Ds2 is absolutely gorgeous even though he has a good pair of lungs on him and is nothing like his chilled out laid back big brother! You get about 30 seconds warning for feed time and then all hell brakes loose!!

Things are going well though (apart from the lack of sleep of course). Ds is fantastic with the baby and dh has earnt the 'd' back with his constant help and support no matter what time of the day or night. I'd have been lost without him. Things are really good between us.

Few other things going on though - dh has been given 2 weeks notice and is being made redundant. It's come as a massive shock. So we're frantically looking at our options but I may well be going back to work next month. So once things have settled and I know what is happening from one day to the next, I will get back on MN properly!

LL I just skim read to see how you are and I was so shocked to read that your lo has arrived! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! She sounds absolutely perfect. Was there a reason why she was so early, did I miss that? I will have to read through everything properly.
Sending you lots of love and good wishes to get her home as soon as possible.

Nice to see some of the old faces too - Annie I remember you well and all of your fantastic support and advice. Good to see you too UC.

I will read properly and catch up soon xx

(p.s. I washed my phone in the washing machine!! Don't ask! Really lost my brain this time. Anyway, I've salvaged the sim card but lost everyone's numbers, so if anyone texts me just put a little note to say who it is! And apologies for not texting everyone with the news - now you know why!!!)

Hello all
Another (brief) returner to this thread...not sure if you all remember me or not??!!?

I have lurked on here since I left the thread but had to come on and say congrats to Baffy and LL :-)

LL- My DD was born at 30+6 (although due to IUGR she was a titchy 2lb 10z!) The time on NICU is hard and the expressing can be a nightmare but it is so worth it :-) DD is 19 mths old now and still BF morning and night!! If you want any advice from someone who has been through it you can contact at [email protected]. Big hugs to you xx

I'm doing great now after a rocky few months I finally saw the light and have started divorce proceedings. Even though it's definitely the right decision and everything is pretty amicable it' still not a nice time but I am muddling through pretty well so far.

My life is FAR better than it has been for a long time . DD and I are doing just fine on our own. STBXH is very much involved in DD's upbringing and sees her at least twice a week. In fact he is more involved than when we were together and in fact bizarrely we get on much better too. I'm getting my social life back and am looking to the future with excitement and hope rather than the apprehension and fear I have had over the past 18 mths.