FAB & GLAM PART 9 - DOES IT GET BETTER NOW!!

[macdoodle]

Started new thread guys as needed to post and old one wouldnt let me - sorry if name is bit miserable but thats how am feeling !

The police have just left
It all went tits up tonight - H found out/suspected about NM and lost it completely - was physically abusive and took my phone - best friend called the police!
Has been a hell of a night - long statement - excellent police man - who says should have called them a long time ago - gonna get the domestic violence team to ring me tomorrow - he will be arrested and probably cautioned - he seems really worried it will escalate - has put a marker on the phone for an immediate response, has adviced me to change the locks and go away for a bit if I can, and they will look at putting an alarm in the house
There is still a part of me that feels I am over reacting/is all my fault - even though an experienced police oficer is not happy about the situation!
What a mess my life has turned into

Dior - i felt a bit like you on a much smaller scale - i too wanted it to by thyroid problem. I was also feeling the cold and when i researched it i came up with that it could be anemia. Although blood test is normal i do know from the past that my Hb levels are normal on the upper end of normal, this time it came back on lower end of normal.

So i have been taking iron tablets together with extra vitiamins and i do think it is working. I dont feel as tired and low.

Just a thought - give me a call or email if you do fancy lunch - i will pick you up if you like.

PS i never got the tidy bug either and i still feel as if i am catching up.

I have an underactive thyroid that was only picked up when I asked for a thyroid function test after having a few unexplained m/c. My mood was low but I put that down to the m/cs, I felt tired all the time but I put that down to being a mum to a young child and working in a demanding job.....it's not always obvious is what I suppose I'm trying to say. Worth getting checked out Dior. CAT is rated well amongst therapists. One of my colleagues is training to be a CAT therapist. I'm not sure I agree with your G.P's approach. Rather than telling you that you are on the highest dose of AD possible without referral to a psychiatrist, maybe he should just actually refer you. Also, what ADs have you tried?

yes dior - could you talk to a different GP?

I do have symptoms of the menapause - my GP who i generally like wanted to prescribe ADs (to treat the symptoms) but did not think it worth doing a blood test to establish the cause. The Gynae consultant later wrote to the GP to reccomend some alternative treatments and backing me up with the fact that it probably was menapause.
If you know there is something not right then you have to fight to get what will work for you.

Still wish i could have an underactive thyroid though - as it may help with weight control.

I've got an underactive thyroid too LL. I would say depression is one of the symptoms that never really goes away completely, it lingers in the background and rears it's ugly head sometimes for no apparent reason. And I find it is harder to lose weight. It's the feeling cold all the time I find hard to cope with, I hate feeling cold, oh yes, and the constipation. And that's on the correct dose of thyroxine.

HW just two words to say to you - Agnus Cactus!

HW - I WAS referred back to the psychiatrist. I saw one of his assistants. At the time though, I was not 'depressed enough' to require help. So, I knew it would just be a matter of time before I would be bad enough .

I feel like going to bed. If I did not have to be up for ds, I would be there now.

HW - sorry, I would be crap company at the moment. I know it would do me good to get out but I just feel like you would regret it

Dior. I don't think the GP should just ignore this. If you are on the highest dose of AD's and still not right then its his job to find something that does work for you. I'm glad you've made an appointment, its one step closer to getting better.

Dior - I agree with ginnny.

wow, all gone quiet - is there anybody out there...?

Dior, agree with Ginnny too - and you would NEVER bore us! I am with HW in suggesting lunch - we can all be miserable together . I'm enjoying my garden but still not 100% over the moon with DP - just hoping the summer weather stays nice enough to keep my spirits up. I saw my own GP last week and he said that if DP won't seek help, I can always get some support for myself - I too feel sometimes that I need to offload to someone out of my circle, so as not to bore my friends or my lovely sister!

always up for a meet up - i would love to come to london again as i really enjoyed the last meet up.

Dior could we tempt you to have a day in london with dc?

A day in London would be lovely.

I saw my gp on Saturday morning. He listened and seemed in a genuine quandry as to what to do with me. In the end, he decided that the best option was to refer me upwards again.

fantastic Dior - lets get a date soon. Sorry not around much today - my mum has been taken into hospital again and i am going to help my dad sort some things out.

I'm glad he has referred you now Dior. Are you feeling any better? Is H still being nice?
HW - I hope your Mum is OK.
Tannee - Good idea to get some support yourself. I found Alanon helpful when I went. Its nice to get away from the madness for an hour or so!
I'm loving this weather. We had a brilliant weekend, we went to the South of England show on Saturday and had a lovely family BBQ on Sunday. I'm just hoping the sun stays around this week as its DS2's birthday on Thursday and his Sports Day on Friday.
I'd be up for a meet up too - a day in London sounds great.

Ginny - would love to see you again . Let's make sure we do it soon.

HW - Is your mum ok?

Its' all gone very quiet here........

Dior - glad your gp is referring you. You're not mad believe me

HW - hope your mum is ok.

Ginnny - glad you had a good weekend

It's ds's bday this weekend so we've got a party to organise. Well just food really, as it's at a farm and there is lots to do there. Keeping my fingers crossed that 1) he doesn't get chickenpox in next couple of days - doing the rounds in his school 2) the weather is ok.
Bump is ok. Only 5 weeks left at work. Very pleased about that as it's feeling like a chore to go in. I will miss some of my patients though. I've had some nice feedback. One of them in particular said some nice things - and considering that she never actually wanted a CPN that's quite an achievement iyswim. Anyway....enough self-patting on the back

Hope everyone is ok. Where's LL, Macdoodle, TFM and Baffy? And anyone else I've forgotten.

I think your ds wants that envelope opened for his birthday.
There that will bring them back - especially TFM.

ENVELOPE???? Did I hear the word ENVELOPE?? Is it to be opened?? Please say it is, I can't stop thinking about it, I keep having dreams about envelopes, they keep me awake at night, I'm exhausted, I have big bags under my eyes, LL, please help me!

If only it was a window envelope......

Ooh a party. I love party games, pass the envelope, guess what's in the envelope, who can open the envelope the fastest. All good games Ladylush

And don't blame me if you have a loooong labour, a very loooooong labour, I did warn you that the longer it takes to open the envelope the longer it takes for the cervix to dilate. Don't say you weren't warned, when you are 48hrs in and still only 5mm!!

And yes, that is mm. MM!!!

HW you are a stirer
TFM - you are evil
Actually it is a window envelope. Still can't see though. Might get to see the genitals at 34 weeks - having another scan then. If I do find out I might just keep you in the dark for the hell of it

Hi all
I have been around, been lurking a bit! Have had an eventful few weeks/months - just seem busy or tired all the time!
DD2 is at that absolutely gorgeous but very tiring toddler stage - she is an absolute delight but if anything more lively and mischievous than DD1
DD1 is ok we had a major trauma when I put verruca ointment in her eye and burnt her whole cornea was a complete nightmare but all ok now thank god!

Divorce proceeds slowly with much delaying and manipulation from ex - though nisi is now imminent! Though the solicitors costs are mounting, have had to increase my work hours to pay for it

Things with new DP going well

oops posted too soon back to catch up on all of you lovely lot

LL, how could you be so cruel For a minute, due to my lack of sleep, due to the dreams, I thought you were implying that you would be able to see the genitals through the window of the envelope!

MacD!! Lovely to 'see' you. I'm so sorry you are still having a rough time. And bless DD1! Gosh! I'm pleased everything is ok now though and I hope you aren't beating yourself up about it?? These things happen you know. Don't you remember the time I 'accidently' spat in DP's ham and pickle sandwich? When he wasn't such a DP
I'm pleased to hear everything is going well for you with your DP. It will be well worth the cost of the divorce to get rid of the old one.

Can I ask you something of a professional nature Macd? How would you go about surgically removing an envelope from a very stubborn lovely Teabag? Is it a major operation?

MacD - good to hear from you Sorry about dd but glad all ok. Reminds me of the time I put nose drops in my eye by mistake. Ouch still remember Guess having a bit of medical knowledge is no protection from these mishaps - could be even more likely to happen because one tends to be less cautious iyswim. Hope your divorce is sorted soon. Glad all going well with NM Btw, ignore TFM

ok I am back

Dior, I have been lurking and thinking so much of you at times You seem so very very sad and how long have we been going?? afew years now and it doesnt seem to be getting better!
So ok am going to be blunt, please please ignore me if I am off track or offend I dont mean to, I just want to help!
As a GP and a friend (albeit an internet one), I have some musings !
As GP's (and LL will correlate this as well) psychiatric patients fall into 3 main groups, mad bad and sad!
So you are clearly not bad Are you mad?? That is do you have a chemical depression ?? Well obviously without seeing you, asking some pertinent questions, doing some scores I cannot say professionally!
But you have been on and off high dose AD's with little effect?? You have had counselling on and off with little effect??
And you can be happy and charming yes?? I am sure those teabags who have you met you (HW??) will testify to this!!

So just say ok just say....you arent actually mad (a good thing no??), then you are sad
And so to the why, why are you sad?? I know your weight is an issue for you, but would it be if your H didnt make it such a major one??
So I wonder (and these are only the onderings of an internet friend, they may be totally wrong), is it your H/your marriage/your life I guess that makes you sad Something you cant do anything about
I have done a LOT of reading recently about emotional abuse, and yes am pretty sure XH has been emotionally absive to me for years...and I wonder (I'm sorry if I am wrong) if its not your H that is a big cause of your sadness - he seems to make you feel so small, so worthless, so crap.....so sad
It shouldnt be like that, honestly really it shouldnt, now being with someone who treats me with utmost love and respect I can see that (when I moan I am fat, he actaully looks at me in amazement and says no you're not, he says he loves me, calls me sexy and doesnt ever ever put me down or criticise me...I honestly never knew it could be like that and also a bit )

Dior is it your H that makes you sad, just look at it from a different view, YOU have tried to change, YOU have tried to make the effort,YOU have been treated for depression, what exactly has he done to help, does he even think he needs to??

And yes I get the good bits, I get the loving them, I get the truly believing it is all your fault, I get all these things, it doesnt mean they are right

Just think about it

Ok need to go sort DD1 out will be back for the rest of you later

MacD, brilliant post!

LL, I am not an envelope!! You cannot ignore me!!