fgs is this still going on?
Earlier this week I read a thread from someone who was wondering if her friend who had an affair deserved any sympathy because he was missing the ow, even though he knew what he had done was wrong. The general consensus was that he deserved no sympathy at all and that clearly he was making himself into the victim to gain sympathy and yet he was the one who put everything at risk.
This is no different. If this was a man posting, or a woman posting that her dh had had an affair/was contemplating an affair and was still missing the ow people would be telling her to leave him, or at best be telling her that her dh needs to cut all contact with the ow in order for their relationship to stand a chance.
Why have you not deleted his contact details? he is not and can never be a part of your life again. Ever. If you love your dh and respect him then this other man is nothing to you. You must never have any contact with him again. And in order to do that you must delete all his details.
We all make mistakes. And we can all admit to our mistakes if we truely regret them and want to put things right.
But there have been threads upon threads upon threads about this, and tbh I think it has gone from admitting to making your mistake to gaining attention from this. What do you expect people to say when you admit to wanting him again? "there there you're only human and it's so sad"?
You are not a victim. Your dh is. He is the one that deserves the sympathy.
You've made the mistake, you've admitted to it. Now you need to grow up and put it behind you. No more talk of the om, no more contact with him, nothing. And if you can't do that maybe it's time to let your dh go and be with someone who deserves him, because he deserves better than this. He deserves better than to constantly be told how much you miss the love of your life.