I have been doing really well but....

[NAB3lovelychildren]

.... I spoke to a mutual friend last night and I really want to tell him about it. Keep me busy as I know he doens't want to know. (emailed to say I had gossip and did he want to know, and no reply.) I am not going to email again. Keep me focused!!

"He (dh) knows he can trust me again"

Eh? On what planet?

How many chances are you expecting your DH to give you NAB? My guess is your running out of them fast.

I can see I am not going to make you believe me.

I haven't emailed him for ages.

Other emails he might have thought there was something emotional there but in the subject line it was obvious it wasn't.

i am not obsessing. I guess I just wanted to remind myself not to email again over this gossip and I am very that people are just assuming the worse.

Okay.

It's an addiction, and you're never going to kick it if you keep feeding the monster, you need to go cold turkey, like you keep saying you will do.

you need a total and utter ban on any contact with him on any level at all ever again.

That was then? When? yesterday?

I'm sure you started a thread yesterday or the day before asking for support in your pain and loss.

If you're over him then why do you need threads to distract you from emailing him?

With respect, I think that many patient MNers have every right to speak firmly to you, based upon what you keep posting.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

OK, put yourself in your DH's shoes.

He has contact with an ex, ums and aahs over an affair, decides to stay but is obviously heartbroken over it.
Then a week later says, "Oh, I have emailed x about this, she'll find it really funny"

If that was my DH, I would slap him and boot him out the door quite frankly

What if he had replied? what then? Communication once again open? for what...

am not assuming anything except you want any excuse to keep any sort of contact with him

you have been weeping and breaking your heart over this man, and your DH has stuck by your side, you need to repay him with the courtesy of no more contact with this man

you will reap the benefits x

But you're not over him are you? If you were you would respect this man's wishes for you not to contact him, and more importantly, respect your DH by not continuing in this hurtful manner.

Message withdrawn

Can you not see that if many people with objective views (because they don't know you, and in most cases don't care) reckon you're being out of order to your DH then maybe you're being out of order?

I know where I was with him the other week (not yesterday) when I was thinking about him all the time and being very upset. I have thought about him TWICE today and that is all. I knew he would find it funny. That is all.

I had stopped emailing him. And I won't again. It was purely something I sent him and another friend that I thought he would laugh at.

FGS, people on here are so bloody quick to assume the worst at times.

How can your heart be broken one week and then you're absolutely over him this week?

Either your feelings are shallow, and you were merely being melodramatic and seeking our attention by saying your heart was broken or you aren't over it and you're trying to kid yourself.

Listen to other people on here and grow up before your DH really does lose his patience with you.

Good point. Think about the poor OW in this. If she came on here and said 'DP nearly had an affair but decided not to. I have asked him to cut all contact but I found out that they still email each other' I'm sure you could write the script on the general response to that one.

Or if you wanna be soppy about your roantic tragedy... "if you love someone set them free".

He's decided his wife will make him happy. If you care for him why would deliberately try to sabotage that?

I think I know how I feel about him. I have had enough practice.

NABm you need to start taking on board what people are saying about your DH and the OW

you are thinking about your needs here

and there is a far bigger pictuire

I'm sorry to be blunt, I try to always remember there's a real person behind another screen somewhere, but are you coming across as very selfish, massively immature, and lacking any emotional intelligence. I'm interested that you haven't answered the poster who asked your age.

How dare you attack those who quite rightly point out that emailing your lost love ABOUT ANYTHING is wrong?

Don't you get it? He is married to somebody else and doesn't want to hear from you.

You do not have the right to email him for any reason at all.

Nobody is assuming 'the worst', they are ocmmenting on what you have clearly told us you have done.

OKay

I will say this as clearly as I can.

I felt completely heartbroken that we couldn't be together in any shape or form. I emailed him as there was things I wanted to day.

Things were different with DH and I which also caused other feelings to surface.

I have got the message. My husband has forgiven me. We have talked. He is fine with me and I am back being fine with him.

Even if I hadn't have had contact with om I would have known he would have found this news funny, I just had an opportunity to tell him.

I certainly was not attention seeking. I felt like my heart was breaking, have had enough practice at that too.

Maybe I just came to my senses and realised how things were.

So, I wanted to email him today. BUT I DIDN'T. I posted on here instead and obviously I know wish I hadn't.

i am glad you did not email him

you need to concetnrate your energies on your family and your Dh who is worth his weight in gold

you did email him though?