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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have been doing really well but....

191 replies

NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 15:58

.... I spoke to a mutual friend last night and I really want to tell him about it. Keep me busy as I know he doens't want to know. (emailed to say I had gossip and did he want to know, and no reply.) I am not going to email again. Keep me focused!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:20

Plus I sent the email to his work so his wife would not see it. It was an innocent email anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:21

I knew it wasn't a good idea to email which is why I came on here to distract myself.

I did not email him.

I am in my 30's not that it is relevant.

I know he doesn't want emails from me about us, this was a gossipy one which I thought might have ben okay. He obviously doesn't so I know not to even send that in future.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 14/01/2009 17:21

you did email him

and if it was innocent, why to his work>?

do you see how that sounds

you know his wife would be upset

you are hurting / going to hurt real people

TooMuchNoise · 14/01/2009 17:22

"Plus I sent the email to his work so his wife would not see it."

And you think you're being unfairly treated here? (By MN i mean) Jeez you're your own worst enemy.

MadreInglese · 14/01/2009 17:22

But you did email him, after you were so adamant that you wouldn't ever ever again, for the sake of your marriage and children, blah blah

--------
By NAB3lovelychildren on Wed 14-Jan-09 15:58:05
.... I spoke to a mutual friend last night and I really want to tell him about it. Keep me busy as I know he doens't want to know. (emailed to say I had gossip and did he want to know, and no reply.) I am not going to email again. Keep me focused!!
---------

And now getting narky at people who have given up time to try and help you is incredible!

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:22

I know what I have.

FGS it was a blip as I thought something would make him laugh. So shoot me.

OP posts:
beanieb · 14/01/2009 17:22

"FGS, people on here are so bloody quick to assume the worst at times. " but you started a thread asking people to keep you focused. Maybe people are wrong to assume so but given your other threads I am sure most people have assumed this was a request for help.
I think what Aimsmum said is spot on. He has a partner and at the very least you should try to think of her in all this.

MorrisZapp · 14/01/2009 17:23

I'm afraid I don't think you are ready for adult relationships if think that there is such a thing as an 'innocent email' to a married man who has asked you not to contact him.

If it was innocent then why not send it to his home email, or indeed copy his wife in on it? I'm sure she enjoys a bit of gossip too and enjoys meeting her husband's friends.

Lulumama · 14/01/2009 17:23

am confused now

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:24

I can't win can I?

It was innocent but since his wife knows nothing he would have had to explain an email out of the blue so I sent it work so she would never have to know that her husband wanted to shag someone else.

I wanted distracting, not attacking for sending one email and no more.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 14/01/2009 17:24

Holy feck how fast does this thread move! Great minds ^

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:26

What I was going to tell him would have had no interest to his wife.

I appreciate you are all trying to kick me up the bum but it really and truly is not necessary.

I have cried enough over this man over 20+ years and I can not believe I lost my head over him but it is over and done with and I will not be emailing him again. He doesn't want "us" emails and now I know he doesn't want old news about mutual friends ones so that is all fine.

OP posts:
MadreInglese · 14/01/2009 17:26

Innocent my arse

NAB you've been on here long enough to know that you can't control what kind of responses you get from MNers

Lulumama · 14/01/2009 17:27

did you email him?

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:27

It was a one off and it is done.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 14/01/2009 17:27

So when he said don't contact me, he really meant don't contact me very often?

I can't see what the volume of emails has to do with it. You contacted him. Your name came up in his inbox.

beanieb · 14/01/2009 17:27

"Holy feck how fast does this thread move!" a lot faster than some of the others...

solidgoldsoddingjanuaryagain · 14/01/2009 17:27

This isn't going to stop till he does take out a restraining order, is it?

NAB, I'm sure you are going to think this is very harsh and I am not accusing you of anything, more trying to give you something to think about, but read this.

dittany · 14/01/2009 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumama · 14/01/2009 17:28

nab, i am sorry you feel attacked, but at the end of the day, your behaviour is not blameless

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:28

I don't wish to control anyone. I just wish people would actaully read what I have said. My god I was trying to do the right thing by chatting on here so I DID NOT email him and then I get another bollocking.

OP posts:
MadreInglese · 14/01/2009 17:28

Who are you trying to convince? Why does it matter if randoms on the internet believe you? What matters is what you do from now on.

Original poster
NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 17:29

I know I have done wrong. As has he.

IT IS OVER. I thought he might have wanted to know. Clearly I was wrong. So that is fine.

OP posts:
beanieb · 14/01/2009 17:29

"My god I was trying to do the right thing by chatting on here so I DID NOT email him and then I get another bollocking. "

but you DID email him and you said you wouldn't. He asked you not to.

Is this the line being drawn then? You're sorted and you have no need to ever email him again however funny the things you might hear from mutual friends?

MorrisZapp · 14/01/2009 17:30

I'm actually laughing at this now 'What I had to say would have had no interest to his wife'

I bet it wouldn't!!!!! Better hide your emails then in case they, er, don't interest her. We can't have that.

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