He followed the script!!!

[shockedandawed]

Namechanger.

First he didn't recognise the number and didn't know her. Then maybe she was trying to blackmail him. Then she was blackmailing him but nothing happened. Then I found the text messages and..... you guessed it, it was just a kiss(or three) that never meant anything and when he told her it was over she went psycho and threatened to tell me. He swears they never slept together. Says he loves me and the DDs doesn't want to lose us etc.

Begged me not to read the texts, begged me not to call her (he even disconnected the line into the house ). I called her number and she denied knowing him. I sent a text from his phone saying "Please don't tell my wife. Don't call, text me" and she sent 7 back saying she loves him and he loves her and she doesn't care what I think because they are together.

He works abroad, she lives there. I found out because I had a haunch (I guess it's true thata a wife always knows) and she called me but hung up. Going for full STI screening tomorrow. Calling my solicitor tomorrow. Then I need to wait and see how I feel I guess. Right now feel like I'm watching a movie. Any advice gratefully received.

It was bloody cold but I'd take a Canadian -16C over a Scottish +1C any day. Although I haven't decided whether we have a future together or not I am feeling much more positive. I know myself and my DDs will be fine whatever I decide.

It has really helped to stop internalising the problem. I read somewhere recently that men always affair down i.e. the OW is always on the whole inferior to their wives otherwise they wouldn't get the quick, easy gratification they are looking for. It is interesting that the first thing my counsellor said to me when I first went to see her was that H has self-esteem issues.

Whilst I do harbour fantasies of ripping the OW limb from limb, tbh if I saw her, I doubt very much that I'd even acknowledge her. When she called to "relate" to me, I just listened to be honest and didn't say very much. When she claimed she was pregnant I told her congratulations and it was so obvious how much that unnerved her. There's a quote that goes "Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless". She probably feels "special" and saying anything to her at all will only make her feel more so as she'll know that she's got to you. Does her husband know?