dp is a boring git

[nikcola]

he works very very hard i will admit that but this weekend he hasnt had any private jobs on (hes a mechanic) all i want to do is go out and do something all 3 of us but he wont he is a grumpy sod and im really staring to hate him we never never go out its allways left up to me to entertain dd and its not bloody fair all he does is come round here and sit on his arse and watch telly i need some fun im soo bored i feel like im 60 and im 21

So when he gets a house, who is gonna live in it ???

just him at the moment he wants me and dd to move in but i dont want to not yet in dont want to give up my council flat i want to buy it when i start working x

Yes good idea, was going to say not to give up your flat.

At the end of the day, only you can decide what to do, but if you are not happy then why not try being on your own for a bit, you might like it.

sorry i took dd to pets at home to see the fish then to kfc for dinner bad bad mummy!!!

lol, we used to do that as well, when we lived there!

its the only exciting thing to do on a sunday here

true

you have got me wanting kfc now!

it wasnt that nice i couldnt eat it all which is a first !

and noiw dd is sleeping oh the perfect sunday afternnon xxxx

this is a long post..

nikcola, firstly i thought you were very pretty in that pic on your profile..

when in a mixed relationship, especially asian ones (as usually in asian relationships, things get in the way such as tradition and religion!) there are two types of people

theres those who put there girlfriends/boyfriends first and to hell with anyone who dont like it,

and there are those who put there family first and then there lovers

it seems to me that you unfortunatly are the one who is second best

if after all this time he still hasnt stood up to his family even after you had a child together, then i really cant see it changing

the reason he probably doesnt want to been seen with you too much perhaps is because he is a bit ashamed that he is with you and not a 'nice asian girl' hence the looks he would get?

he wants the western life with you, but he also wants part of his culture with him, it dont help that his family are banging into his ear about his 'lovely wife in pakistan who would treat him much better, cook his tea, respect him, not talk back, do as he says'

im sorry if im out of order, but it makes me mad that in mixed relationships its always the white girls (sorry if that word isnt politically correct) that are 2nd best and put up with it.

someone i know who is white was going out with this indian bloke, madly madly inlove with him to the point she would do anything to keep him.

he loved her but he loved his family more, and when it was time to get married he had one arranged

in the meantime his girlfriend got herself pregnant in the hope that he would stay with her and not marry this indian girl..

it didnt work!...it took many years for this girl to realise that she was and always will be 2nd best

i hope you ask yourself the honest question of whether you come first in his life or 2nd..if you come 2nd then expect this life, as he probably wont change

i wish you all the happiness, you seem like a top girl who is full of fun (going by your posts) your pretty too and you could do anything you want

good luck

in his defence i should add, he probably dont know any other way of treating a girl as its what he is used to, and that is how it is in his culture

that made me cry bubbly1973 that is so true my life is just like that x

nikcola, anytime you need a chat about it, you can cat me or post on this thread, it does sometimes help if someone else is in the same(ish) situation as you

i can see it from your dh's point of view as well as your own xxx

chin up hun x

thank you xxxxxxx i feel slightly calmer as he is not here !!!! he is arse kissing his brother!

bubbly1973,I hate to say it but you have hit the nail on the head. I am asian and know only too well about a large number of asian males who have Western girlfriends while it suits them but have absolutley no intention of marrying or settling down with them even if children do come along. These men are always - willingly - 'forced' into arranged marriages with nice little Girls from their homelans who treat them like Gods when they arrive (and the wifes always do arrive) in the UK.

Please dont take offence Nikola, I'm not saying all Asian men are like this but there is quite a few and it sounds, unfortunately, like you have got caught up with one. I hope that I am completely wrong in your situation.

Good luck with whatever happens.

pootlesmum..are you in a mixed relationship?

the thing is though he wants us to get married aswell but i just dont think its right

would it be legal to marry you even though he got married in pakistan??

apparently yes but i just dont want to be second best

And I don't think it would be legal either.

Oh honey. I've said it before - you're gorgeous, he doesn't treat you the way you deserve - and FFS about 'people staring', I could understand that when it was my parents in the 1970s, but not now

if he married you, would he live full time with you? and face having a hard time from his parents?

hi MI,

motherinferior, unfortunatly its not the 'white' people who stare, its usually the asians!!