dp is a boring git

[nikcola]

he works very very hard i will admit that but this weekend he hasnt had any private jobs on (hes a mechanic) all i want to do is go out and do something all 3 of us but he wont he is a grumpy sod and im really staring to hate him we never never go out its allways left up to me to entertain dd and its not bloody fair all he does is come round here and sit on his arse and watch telly i need some fun im soo bored i feel like im 60 and im 21

i think so too

nickola you do sound such a lovely girl. Please change your life now before he destroys any more of your confidence x

yeh his family no but they dont like us, i dont care what they think but its not fair on dd,

lou, he said that he doesnt like the woman and he has no intentions of moving her here but i just dont belive him if i left him tomoorow she would be here by next week cause he hates being alone x

thank you MM x

so in other words nikcola, you have just told me he is only with you because he doesn't have anyone else around to fulfil his needs?

Really you can do soooo much better for you and your dd

Do you ever meet his friends ?

Nik, what woudl you say to someone else who was relaying a similar story to you?

nickola, i know how you feel, my own family are rubbish. i know you feel you are alone and he is the only one who loves you.

Your daughter loves you more than anyone. You should be showing her how much you love her too. that doesnt mean staying with her father. Dont let her grow up feeling she is unloved by him too

i know i am being blunt, but I really do feel for you. I know how you must feel. Your self esteem is so low you dont even realise how many people care for you and how much you have going for you.

he only has one best friend he is a bit of a loner, but yeh ive meet him ,

i no lou i would tell whoever was in my position to get rid, but i dont want to leave him well i dont no what i want i just dont want to be on my own i only have him i havent got any family x

i think what keane says is v true re the self esteem. People just want to help you nik, we aren't trying to hurt you

i no you are trying to help honestly i do i just wish you were all here with me and not on the pc iynwim xxxx

nickola, you are are NICE person though, you will meet new people and make new friends. The world is your oyster. Start beleiving in yourself. carry on getting your nursing qualifications and making a life for you and your daughter. You bloody deserve it

Dont let him drag you down

you have your dd nik, and that is the most important reason to have a relationship with someone who shows that it is an equal partnership. Atm she is seeing a man who comes and goes, treats her mummy as he pleases, never takes her out or makes her feel special and marries someone else, while still expecting her to stay faithful to him. She will grow up with that as her example of what a relationship should be like, and the cycle will be perpetuated. Do you want her to have a similar life?

you arent just nice, you are a good honest decent person

just remind yourself this.

I wont post any more as I feel i am making things worse

me either

I know you know what we are saying is right, but i don't think you want to change the relationship or get out of it tbh, and i find that so sad.

Keane, you are not making things worst honest, im just so scared of being alone i would really miss him, god i hate my life

what is there to miss? you are already alone

he isnt there most of the time, and if it's sex well that wouldn't be hard to find being a young single lady

i dont want to leave him but i do want things to change i really do

yeh im a ugly v overweight single lady, maybee that why i want to be with him cause no one else will have me ,

why not?

what would you lose really?

think about what the pros and cons are, and if the pros are worth hanging onto. The state of your relationship really needs to be addressed, and something needs to be done. Good luck x

i just hate being on my own he runs my car i couldnt afford it on my own he buys dds clothes and stuff i couldnt give her all that and i just hate being here on my own dd loves her dad to bits it would distroy her if she never saw him, i want to sit down and have a seroius talk with him but he just doesnt listen and walks out x

no you are not, it's because he has made you feel like that, can't you see? He wants you like that.

what shall i do to change things though

But it is not really a case of leaving him - he doesn't live with you and the flat is not in his name. Does he contribute to the upkeep, food etc ? Why does he live at home still btw, is that to keep the family peace too. Perhaps he needs to decide which family is the more important to him. Horrible to have to choose but it just seems such an irreconcilable situation.

Is he supportive of your nursing career, what if you had to work shifts, would he help you and dd out then ?

well he sounds like a jumped up little p*ick then if he won't listen to you. He is saying your opinion doesn't count. Great example to his daughter, not.

Sorry Nik, it's making my blood boil at the way he treats you and the way you let him. I really hope you find the strength to do something about it. Being alone isn't the worst thing that can happen to you, tho i understand it must feel v daunting, but you might even end up liking it, being independent.

Really i have to go now, but please think about your relationship.