dp is a boring git

[nikcola]

he works very very hard i will admit that but this weekend he hasnt had any private jobs on (hes a mechanic) all i want to do is go out and do something all 3 of us but he wont he is a grumpy sod and im really staring to hate him we never never go out its allways left up to me to entertain dd and its not bloody fair all he does is come round here and sit on his arse and watch telly i need some fun im soo bored i feel like im 60 and im 21

sorry i dont mean to make people angry x

Sorry can i just butt in a sec and ask Nik, is dp now married ?????

I don't think you are making people angry as much as frustrated. Like several of the situations which have appeared on MN over the past few weeks we can only offer a sounding board and suggest solutions - it is up to you to decide and make things happen. The frustration comes partly from the limitations of the medium and partly from what you describe.

Perhaps focus on what you want for yourself and dd in the longer term - say, in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years... Does your dp fit in with this, is he going to support you emotionally, financially and practically along the way. What if his wife does appear ? Will you come to resent his shortcomings and lack of interest in a shared family life.

Sorry if this is harsh but, as Lou says, you really do deserve more.

nik - you are very pretty (i've seen your photo on here). so what you're a bit overweight - loads of people are. doesn't stop most men finding women attractive - being outgoing and friendly, and dressing nicely go a veery long way. it just sounds like the relationship is all give by you, and take by him at. you and dd deserve more. it's tough in life to have any self-esteem when your parents/your partner puts you down - but that doesn't mean it's true, just that it's a fault in them.

totally agree with LIZS

and yes slightly overweight or totally overweight, doesnt mean you are ugly!!!!! ffs nickola you are a good looking woman

and the end of the day, even if your were ugly people still find others attractive anyway, doesnt matter what you look like
people arent that shallow nickola

the life you are looking for with friends outings FUN! is available to you but I don't think it will happen while you are with him.If he had any respect for you he would never have married someone else You have a choice to make here that seems obvious to me He will probably never change but you can

he has gone out now in a mood cause i told him to fu** off , proberlly wont see him till tomoorw night cause hes sulking

If he has a phone send him a text and say calmly that you need some time to yourself to thimk things over Don't fight with him maybe just take some time out and see what a calm normal life feels like.You can do that surely for dd's sake

Nik did he get married ??? I got confused can't keep up ???

Yes Nutty he did

yeh he did sorry nutty xxxx if you can find my other thread its all on there but be warned its a long one!

its caled nikcolas thread

Ahh right, and does his wife live here or not ???

I mean you deserve such alot more than being with sonmeone who was prepared to marry someone else.

no shes in pakistan,

Right ok.

You do deserve soooooo much better you know. You are a lovely person. I mean would you stand for some bloke treating your dd the way dp treats you when she is older ????

I know it is hard to make that desicion but you don't really want to spend the rest of your life being spoken to and treated like that do you ???

nutty you must no how i feel u dont love your dp do you ? sorry if im wrong,

are you scared of being alone too xxx

Yes you are right, i don't love him. Do you love your dp ???

I am scared of being alone yes, but i also think that once i took the plunge then i would feel alot better and probably quite like it.

The main reason i haven't done anything yet is because of money probs.

yes i do love him,

See that makes it harder then.

What do you love about him ???

god thats a hard qiestion tbh i dont no what i love about him

Nikcola sorry to butt in but are you going to take that trip to Spain? It really sounds like you should be grabbing chances like that to build up a social life apart from dp.

I mean from what you have told us then i'd find it hard to see what there is to love about him, but obviuosly we are not you and are not standing in you shoes so that is easy for us to say.

Ok try and look ahead a few years.....can you see yorself being happy and contented with him or miserable and much the same as you are now ??

no i cant go i cant afford it but i am going away for a weekend soon im go to brighton to see my step sister

Won't dp give you some money towards it ?? Surely he owes you for the disneyland trip that never happened.

he is saving up for his deposit for a house so he can move away from his family,

tbh nut i dont think about what is going to happen in the years to come, everything will proberlly still be the same but if she did come here i would leave him i have told him that x