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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Almost made a huge mistake - what can I do?

253 replies

mixedup · 10/03/2003 14:14

Am so ashamed of myself that i have changed my name for this...

Have been married for 5 years, together 7 years and have a good marriage except for one thing..Up till now have been sweeping the issue under the carpet but recently have been back in touch with my first ever boyfriend, there has always been an attraction between us and on Friday he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to take things further, I stupidly agreed, its been so long since anyone has made me feel this way, the temptation was overwhelming, i could not see straight, everytime i thought about it i would feel dizzy etc etc, after much thought today i decide to nip it in the bud before i made a huge mistake, i think he felt releived as he is also in a relationship, tho not married, no kids.

To get to the point, he unearthed feelings in me that i have squashed/ignored and now i do not know what to do...My dh and i get along really well but i do not fancy him in the slightest, he is more like a brother to me, great father and always puts us first, however (it hurts to say this) but he is lousy in the sack, too quick or non existant, it has always been this way and I niavely in the beginning thought it would get better. We have talked about it before and have never resolved it.

But now i cannot ignore it anymore, its really making me feel bad about my marriage and I am not sure what my options are, he will not go to the doctor or seek outside help, no-one else knows about it and I have reached the end of my tether and cannot bear to be in the same room never mind bed with him.

Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 14:20

SH - So are we all clear then...? Looks like i've got you all to myself!!!

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:21

Possibly mixedup, I have mentioned my wifes name a few times in here but that was a while back.

Or it could be someone that knows us on a windup.

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:22

looks like it mum2toby.

mixedup · 19/03/2003 14:25

what about me?

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:26

Mixedup

You said you didn't want seconds so we thought you'd given up.

dcolagirl · 19/03/2003 14:27

Ooooh! The intrigue! You randy lot of buggers!!!

Makes the day go quicker tho', doesn't it??!!

mixedup · 19/03/2003 14:28

I want to be first, she says stamping her foot like a stroppy 3 year old!

OP posts:
tigermoth · 19/03/2003 14:28

mariehoward, good to see you here.

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:28

dcolagirl

I thought it had been made clear, no buggers, randy or not, in this bunch.

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:29

Mixedup

You and Mum2toby sort it out and I will stay well clear till a decision is made.

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 14:30

SH - I'm just a stone's throw from Edinburgh, so the next time you're visiting your friends let's organise a mumsnetter meet-up all to ourselves.

Sorry Mixedup - I have posted a plea to find any more male mumsnetters though!!!

mixedup · 19/03/2003 14:33

Oh all right then, will have HER sloppy 2nds, you better be worth it after all this SH! Or i will dump you in favour of my ex, who can go all night apparently!

OP posts:
mixedup · 19/03/2003 14:34

Tigermoth are you playing silly beggars?

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:39

Mum2toby

I will let you know if I ever manage to get up that way again.

Mixedup

I have been known to go all night too. Does your ex eat very hot curries as well the, because they always make me go. LOL.
Also I thought men couldn't be sloppy seconds, well not this way.

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 14:42

Ok SH........ you've totally lost me!! Are you talking about on the toilet all night now?? YUCK!!!

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 14:45

Mum2toby

Well you know us men and our toilet humor.

That and I didn't want to sound like I was boasting. LOL.

mixedup · 19/03/2003 15:01

Bit of a turn off that SH, toilet humour does not 'do it' for us girls.

I think you were avoiding the issue because you cannot live up to our expectations!

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 15:09

mixedup

If need be I can stay active all night but what is the point?

I mean if you aren't overcome by the sheer enjoyment after the first 2 hours then I'm doing it wrong.

Got to stop this. Must be a good boy. Smack my wrist.

mixedup · 19/03/2003 15:13

Good point!

All right then SH, I should be a good girl too, will let you off the hook...for now!!

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 15:13

SH do you like being smacked???....

....AAAAHH GOT TO STOP THIS!!!

It's SO addictive though and I can't stop winking! there I go again!

MABS · 19/03/2003 15:14

absolutely hilarious - even more interesting cos I'm in Sussex too SH........

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 15:18

Mixedup

Thanks

Mum2toby

Not really but you never know what might be fun at the time.

MABS

Please don't tell me that. I may not be much different in real life than I am on here but if someone came up and said 'I know you off of Mumsnet' I'd probably cringe big time, before asking when were they free for their session?

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 15:19

jealous

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 15:24

Mum2toby

Why are you jealous?

MABS · 19/03/2003 15:25

never 'free' SH ..........

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