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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Almost made a huge mistake - what can I do?

253 replies

mixedup · 10/03/2003 14:14

Am so ashamed of myself that i have changed my name for this...

Have been married for 5 years, together 7 years and have a good marriage except for one thing..Up till now have been sweeping the issue under the carpet but recently have been back in touch with my first ever boyfriend, there has always been an attraction between us and on Friday he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to take things further, I stupidly agreed, its been so long since anyone has made me feel this way, the temptation was overwhelming, i could not see straight, everytime i thought about it i would feel dizzy etc etc, after much thought today i decide to nip it in the bud before i made a huge mistake, i think he felt releived as he is also in a relationship, tho not married, no kids.

To get to the point, he unearthed feelings in me that i have squashed/ignored and now i do not know what to do...My dh and i get along really well but i do not fancy him in the slightest, he is more like a brother to me, great father and always puts us first, however (it hurts to say this) but he is lousy in the sack, too quick or non existant, it has always been this way and I niavely in the beginning thought it would get better. We have talked about it before and have never resolved it.

But now i cannot ignore it anymore, its really making me feel bad about my marriage and I am not sure what my options are, he will not go to the doctor or seek outside help, no-one else knows about it and I have reached the end of my tether and cannot bear to be in the same room never mind bed with him.

Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 15:29

SH - You are a shameless Hussy!! There you go chatting up ANOTHER Mumsnetter!!

I though I was special

mixedup · 19/03/2003 15:29

I see I will have to keep an eye on you SH, as soon as my back is turned off you go again and as for you mum2toby you are insatiable (sp?)

Now Mabs has joined in too....

Might have to find a man all for me and not share with you ladies...

How do you do the winks and grins BTW

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 15:36

Mixedup - I am INSATIABLE ...... are you reading this SH...... taking note??

semi colon ; then a bracket )
Colon : brakcet )
Colon : letter o
Colon : bracket (

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 15:38

MABS

Shame about that.

Mixedup

What can I say? I'm only human.

Well mostly human.

Mum2toby

You are special, but so is everyone in some way or another.

mixedup · 19/03/2003 15:40

Is everyone having fun then

I know I am

Most fun have had in ages, well not quite true, apart from the rabbit and the cybersex that is

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 15:41

DEVASTATED< I though I was special to YOU SH!!

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 16:05

sob<

I feel used and abused and cast aside like a wet sock. Where are you Simon....?

breeze · 19/03/2003 16:10

yeah great, I go on a family day out and find that on my return, I am totally blown out.

Am I still is the running SH. .

How many are actually after him now.

starship · 19/03/2003 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 16:12

Mixedup

Cybersex!!!!!!! I'm shocked, devestated. Hold on, no I'm not.

Mum2toby

Work is unfortunately taking up some of my surfing time. Totally out of oreder I know.

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 16:13

Breeze

yes you still are and if we include our the requested European tour there are now 5 that have shown interest.

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 16:14

SH - I would ALWAYS make time for cyber sex with you!!

Butt out girls he's MINE HA HA HA HA (scary 'bunny-boiler' laugh)

mixedup · 19/03/2003 16:17

See not such an innocent after all eh?

Cybersex was very naughty of me, but boy it was fun IYKWIM

Starship, don't worry the kids will be here and he knows to look but no touch

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 16:17

Mum2toby

Bunny boilers are not my type of girl.

Had one chase me recently in a chat room and never again.

Bozza · 19/03/2003 16:19

Agree with Starship - was a little alarmed to see that posting among all the flirting. You are taking big risks with your marriage Mixedup.

starship · 19/03/2003 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mixedup · 19/03/2003 16:30

Your right, the both of you, just got a bit carried away. Not sure if I actually really fancy him in person, not enough to take big risks, will put him straight on that front, but what to do, we were friends before all this started up and do not want to shut the door on him completely, also we are part of a group and it would look odd if we did not communicate, as whenever we meet up its always together. Will have to break it to him gently i suppose, but firmly.

OP posts:
mum2toby · 19/03/2003 16:32

Humph!! Dumped before I've even stalked you...... ahem....... I mean met you....

mum2toby · 19/03/2003 16:33

Gently, but firmly hey Mixedup?? NICE!!

breeze · 19/03/2003 16:35

Mum2toby, What you will not even share him with a mate. I'd fight you for him.

SH, As long as you start the leg of the tour down here, I won't object to the others

starship · 19/03/2003 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SimonHoward · 19/03/2003 16:54

Breeze

As I said earlier, you ladies hash out a schedule and I'll see if I can fit you in.

mixedup · 19/03/2003 17:02

Your right starship, will have to play it a bit cool, tho we will always share a little secret and the buzz will add extra fun to our group meet ups!

mum2toby, your obsessed!

phew what a day, must be the nice weather!

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 19/03/2003 22:44

Be careful Mixedup - little secrets sometimes have a way of breaking out when you least expect it. After all it only takes for him to exaggerate to one friend, and then you have the chinese whispers effect! Plus I'm curious to know how you feel about his girlfriend, after all he was willing to cheat on her, or does she not matter?
Still think sex with people rather than with toys is the best sex of all!

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 08:02

Rhubarb - sex with people, as in the plural of person??? Interesting... why don't you join the queue for SH?

Mixedup - I know I am.... I should stop now... I must be sexually deprived..... or should that be depraved??

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