40 yr old bachelor needs some advice!

[saracenandy]

Ladies

Can you help? I seem to have long term problems developing relationships with women. I consider myself attractive, active, fit, successful in sport (ex pro rugby player) and business (MD of my own company) but am increasingly frustrated with women I have relationships with. Most do not last more than 3 months.

After a number of initial successes over the years, the ladies have soon lost interest or they just play extraordinary games. I have Tourette's, epilepsy and echopraxia, and when women discover this it seems to be the catalyst for ending what we have, even after things are going swimmingly. BTW my condition does not involve spontaneous profanities or major fits, and I do not consider myself a liability, just in case you wanted to go there! In most respects I consider myself normal. :-)

I have a very comfortable lifestyle but my generosity is often abused. I do not consider myself needy or emotional. I'm not flashy or advertise my wealth. I'm just a sound guy with lots to offer the right woman, so why is it all so difficult?

For instance, my current girlfriend problem is unusual even by my standards. She is 40 also, photographer, beautiful, very sexy, lots of fun, GSOH, and after 6 months I have fallen in love. Trouble is there is no intimacy between us. Last time we snogged was in May, and we've never slept together. She claims she has old-fashioned values, which translates as "I have to submit to her every whim, pay for everything, be at her beck and call, only go out or see each other on her terms etc, etc". Thing is, I don't succumb to her needs, yet she always keeps bouncing back thinking there's nothing wrong, when I tell her its over.

Is it me, or do women of my age not know the word compromise, and don't want to understand me?

Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated.

you sound a bit up your own arse tbh

are you a poser? do you groom to within an inch of your life? do you drive a sports car? do you use fake tan? you need to tell us about yourself

are you looking for a potential mother

in a i am 40 and i need a family asap

are you too earnest

i think people who are good in some areas like high achiever in jobs sometimes try and use the same tactics in relationships and they dont work

you cant approach finding a mate in the same way as you approach business

btw washing with Bliss and Elemis doesnt get rid of bad breath, do you floss?

stop adivertising yourself and chill out a bit

Look - I have met loads of men who meet attractive ladies as friends and imagine they are in some kind of relationship with them when they clearly are not. Are you sure this is actually a relationship?

you cant say look these are the things im offering if you tick the boxes of looks/brains then ill take you and we can have children

when did you last go out with your girlfriend and what did you do? do you always ask her out or does she ask you out too?

and have you met her friends?

do you just date this woman? ie never go round to her house during the day or stay in and watch x factor

Why choose to be in love with someone who won't even kiss you?

Is therapy an option?

you havent really added any info to the post since you started the thread so its impossible really to diagnose you

except you do like to sound

busybusybusy

which is a bit barf

if you want to look at what is needing changing about yourself you need to be prepared to open up and be honest and prioritise making yourself interesting and emotional

no use bandying around words like love and beign a bit of a cold fish

i don't think you can call her a girlfriend unless you've met her friends, and done quite mundane things, like gone to the supermarket for food for that evening. something like that. then stayed in all weekend.

do you tend to be more formal? ie dating for a long time, never really getting intimate?

'But I'll call her to explain I want to meet up, and then she'll tell me she's too busy. Then I have to resort to email, which I deplore at the best of times'

you sound more like her stalker than her bf

i think you are dating people a bit like yourself..martini lovers maybe

Here's bit about me, because we seem to be losing the thread of my concerns. Hopefully the following may help you :-

1. 40 yrs old
2. 6'2"
3. Like to look smart with classic tastes
4. Play rugby, row, cycle, weights
5. Like restaurants, opera, all sorts of music, enjoy cooking, films, travel, evenings in with Lipstick Jungle and a beer.
6. Have 2-bed apartment in SW London
7. Drive a Bentley GTC(this doesn't make me an asshole ladies, or a road hog, or a flash bastard, I just like nice cars)

1. is a boring knob

ok. so, like i said. when did you last do something with your girlfriend?

your advertising youself again

that tells us nothing

far too superficial

and dull

you have to be engaging and revealing aboiut yourself to meet interesting people even on mn

oir possibly especially on mn

must say you do sound a hell of a lot like my ex. only his was a TVR, not a bentley.

and what about her made you fall in love?

To ruddynoraaaaaaggggggghhhhh

She came to my birthday lunch on Sunday, met all my family. Have met her parents but none of her friends.

But what sort of person are you? What would make a woman say 'I'd like to spend the rest of my life with that man'?

(Because believe me, only the sort of woman you do NOT want to date would say 'his flat in SW London and his car'.)

I think you'd be better suited to a dating website, and not a parenting one..