FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

Well done on logging it all by the way. Thats good

Mac D, if you are anything like I was, it could also be your nerves about dating again that are making you edgy with regards to STBEH We tend to subconsciously torment ourselves when in situations like this BUT, don;t let him or your nerves hold you back. You need this, you need to get over this hurdle to be able to feel the joy of finally moving on Feel the fear and do it anyway! It will be well worth it

Thanks TFM I needed that!!
Thing is the thing that worries me is that if H finds out about NM he will be convinced that is why I have filed for divorce now - which is not the case AT ALL - had set myself a limit of end of year and booked an appointment mid Jan with solicitor - but things were so bad over xmas that it got out of control and I saw solicitor 2 weeks ago and started proceedings !
In fact it really has nothing to do with NM - I just knew that the time had come before he did destroy me - but he will never see that, he cannot conceive of any reason I would not want him unless I had someone else....does that make any sense - I want him to understand WHY I am divorcing him ( though I know he never really will)...rather thn just go mad and assume if about a NM ??

TFM you are spot on as usual ...yes am nervous as hell

MacD. To put it very bluntly, your STBEH has been a complete bastard! He deserved you to divorce him a year ago! It does not matter a single IOTA why he thinks you are divorcing him or what he thinks your reasons are. That my love is not your problem, it is for him to deal with. You do not have to justify yourself to him or give him an explanation as to why you are divorcing him. You owe him nothing.

I get the feeling that you are feeling a little guilty about divorcing him? If I'm right then that is simply because he has still got some hold over you, some control. All completely understandable after what you have been through with him and nothing to be ashamed of. BUT, you are nOT doing anything wrong by filing for this divorce. It is well overdue! So, be nice to yourself, free yourself from any bad feelings you may be having

Thank you xxxx

Nerves can be a pain MacD! they can cause us to think of every excuse in the book for not going through with something. So we don't do it. Then the nerves are replaced by regret and the whole cycle begins again. So face the fear and just do it!! lol

You are welcome STBEH might not want to let you go BUT he cannot stop you from going if you really want to. You so deserve to be happy!! Don't let him deprive you of that

McD non pc mn hugs but hopefully pc fandg

Enjoy yourself gal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lily, have you been drinking or are you talking in secret code

Just reread that sorry !!
I know 'hugs' aren't normally allowed but ..........

Lol at reading that back!!

Awh, never mind the 'rules'

FM thank gd yhou know what i am talking about

think i still in shock at my houdini child who was found after bedtime sat on the floor playing in our room!
I believe she can now hoist herself over the cot onto our bed

gd yhou ?????????

It's me again Just want to add MacD, it is perfectly normal too to grieve for a marriage at the time of a divorce, even though that marriage was bad. I know I did. I felt so terribly sad and a bit lost. It's strange really. So, you could be going through a bit of that as well xx

You need to put a lid on the cot! Can the level of the mattress be lowered or is it at it's lowest?

dp lowering it tom

She will get a shock tomorrow night then when she all she does is slide back down the poles prepare for much screaming!! lol

hopefully it wil tire her out so she sleeps
DP currently up there arguing with her (can hear on monitor)

I should be in bed dd1 party tom might 'fall' asleep down here !

Good plan Lily. I hope you have a lovely party

lol at houdini so cute when they do that.

McD - your stbxh does not deserve you. It sounds as though nm does. Most of all, you deserve to be happy. Put yourself first for a change. Of course you need to consider your dds but if you are happy, they will be too Hope this is a wonderful year for you. If stbxh threatens you report it to the police pronto. You could get an injunction against him too.

Hey mcd - new man - my om (old man)! has had a strop and is probably fallen asleep on sofa - do i care???
Do tell and give us all the goss.

Sorry i have not been around too much - lots going on - i did actually give a long post - only for it to get lost . Noy h related though.

Anyway he is in a foul mood at the moment and we are all steering clear of him - until he calms down a bit - too much wine (again). But you know i really dont care one bit at the moment and i am not going to follow my rule of being the first to say sorry. Instead i am going to make tea for me and the children and enjoy.

Just a really quick hi to everyone. Made the mistake of clicking on the active convo about someone who's the OW so now have steam coming out of my ears and off to play with ds to distract myself.

Must learn not to click on threads like that!

I haven't had chance to read through but have just skimmed and macd - I think you're doing so well and I'm so pleased for you. Like TFM says, you owe him nothing. You, as a sane, loving and rational human being would love him to understand why you are divorcing him. But no amount of explanations from you will ever make him understand. If he doesn't know by now he never will!

(Lets face it, if he had the ability to understand why, you wouldn't even be in this position in the first place!)

Lots of love xx

Hope everyone else is ok will try to catch up soon

Baffy - i too have been on that thread - you are among friends here - what going on with you??

Hope you are ok - please emial - i promise i wont tell you off - whatever you have been up to.

Hi to everyone else too.