FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

ohh no, i meant talking about my problems with my husband and such. i just didn't want to say it aloud unless i had to. iyswim

Everyone is welcome here However most of us have moved on from the acute pain of our relationship problems (whatever they were) - and some of us I think found it hard to deal with newbies with fresh new hurt and had to pull back as it kinda took us back to the early days ..you are more than welcome here buf if you are having trouble why dont you start a new thread you will get a lot of support here

yeah, see i didn't want to start a thread. but i see your point.

That MacD, was very well put. I was one of the ones who did indeed pull back. However, I am now just a little bit bored of talking about cleaning and my Mooncup is not in use at the moment so.... bring it on eandz

ooh TFM !!!!!!!!!!!!

How is the mooncup ??
Right enough oven talk come on girls let's have a good old Friday night chinwag!!

McD so what have you got planned

What have I got planned LOLOLOL - leave that to your imagination shall I

On the other hand could be doing with some bolstering please - after 3 weeks of nastiness and being igonred or spoken to like shite - H has now turned on the charm and I find this phase of the cycle so very hard - hard to ignore cos then I seem like the bitch, hard to be strong cos then of course it really is my fault
I know this is the usual cycle and have NO intention of backing down, I dont know if he senses something (??NM next week he should have NO idea), senses weakness , usual cycle - I dont know but I find it more unnerving than all the nastiness and abuse
Dont know if it means he has got papers or if he hasnt yet - agggghhhhhhh

MacD i wouldn't be surprised if he does sense a difference in you but tough for him.

Hold your head high and give him the disdain he deserves!
Saying be 'strong' seems a little trite given the crap he has dished out the last few years!!

What are you planning other than 'that' ??

ummm ...more "that"

well he is lovely - wants to eat out, go to the cinema, walks, shopping (to spoil me) - personally I will be happy with "that" (can you tell its been a while) - am pretty sure am not ready for a relationship yet but this part is fun

you will need a rest between 'that' if it's been some time or maybe not but don't make promises you can't keep

Oooh sounds lovely am sooooo happy for you!!

Has he met girls yet ??

Lily is right MacD, STBXH has probably noticed a difference in you, ha! The fool! Well let him do as he pleases and you just rise above it, clean the oven!!

Do we need to talk about safe sex macD? Do you need any advice? Just ask if you do, it's not just oven's we are experts on you know!

God no not met girls - no plans to either yet - DD1 will blab to H for sure and am not ready for him to know yet either!
And am really not sure if it is going anywhere and dont want to drag DD1 into something if is not gonna be long term, she is not ready to accept a NM yet I dont think - all very complicated made more so by the fact he lives sooooooooo far away!!!
For now he is very good and patient and gets the girls are my priority - am pretty sure he wants more but not pushing

Far away is good! You can enjoy the emails, the texts and the phone calls, much less pressure than actually dating.

I am so pleased for you. You just need to chill and try not to worry about the ex. Put it this way, while ever you are worrying about what he thinks or him finding out you are still letting him control you. Let that be your driving force, you are no longer going to let him control you!

ooh Mc he sounds lovely and if he hasn't met the girls yet go for pleny of 'that' and if you have had enough by end of weekend then so be it

Actually you just deserve to enjoy yourself for a bit so grab it with both hands (not literally )

TFM we are domesticate godesses and lovers

Well was worrying cos he likes PDA's and we will be in town next week during day and some of H's mates work round there - but you what am not doing anything wrong so tough - BTW these are same mates who looked on when he took OW to his LOCAL just round the corner from our house !!
I am trying to enjoy it and relax but it is hard because am pretty sure H will go barking beserk when he finds out...and if am completely honest that scares me a bit

LOL at Lily grabbing it with both hands!
We are indeed Domestic Goddessess and Lover's! We are the complete package!Especially now the Agnus Cactus is working!

Always used to say he would "kill me" and then "him" if I cheated on him - and am pretty sure this is how he will see this - despite everything he has done and how long we have been apart!!

That is totally understandable MacD. He wouldn't hurt you would he? It's really not good to be scared of moving on with your life, I feel for you xx

He uses words and threats to control you then. If you give into him then he has achieved his aim. He will have you right where he wants you. He will be controlling you even when he isn't around. Show him that he has no power over you, you go out and you bloody well enjoy it. If he starts anything just pick up the phone and call the police!

I DO know it is easier said than done though, believe me. But, it is the only way you are ever really going to be free of him. But you already know that

I know TFM
Has been pretty bad last few months with some escalation which crossed the line - I dont know how he would react - lets just say I wouldnt want to bump into him with NM - I quite like NM with all his teeth
Have been keeping a log of incidents and discussed with solicitor - am trying to let him NOT having any control over me but it is not easy !

I know, I'm sorry, it must be really hard for you. It can be done though. These men rely on us being scared of them. Gosh, my exH was a nightmare! I was petrified of him, truly petrified BUT, even knowing I could end up with another broken nose or broken fingers I used to stand my ground, hold my head up high and show him I wasn't going to be pushed around. He wasn't to know that I was nearly wetting myself! lol. But I refused to allow him the joy of controlling me by fear.

You will get there. Just believe in yourself and believe that you deserve to be happy. Please don't let this man ruin any more of your life xx

McD you deserbe to be loved and cared for and happy.

As TFM said you can't let him have any more control of your life.

So shit you still feel scared of him though.
I guess you have to grab the happiness and enjoy it and face whatever he throws at you (if he does) afterwards. He can't control you forever!

Please don't let him take this away from you.