Am I being paranoid?

[nanog]

Last Fri at abt 5pm DH was about to get into the shower. He started to have a shave and I told him I was going out to meet a friend for a quick drink. I'd be back in an hour. DS1 and DS2 were both at home with him.

On my way to meet my friend, I recieve a txt from her to say she can no longer meet, so I turn the car round and go home. I was back home in 5min. As I enter the house, I see the kids both playing. I opened the bathroom door to pop my head round and say hello to DH, but DH wasn't there.

I searched every room and he was nowhere to be seen. The back door to the garden was wide open and so was the garage door. I entered the garage and he was sat naked, half shaven with a phone i've never seen before.I asked him what on earth he was doing sitting stark naked in the garage, in a jokey way. He said nothing and I'm just so confused by then that I didn't know what else to say to him. I also noticed a phone charger plugged into a socket in the garage.

I started to piece together things that have happened, like how he spends a lot of time in the garage when he returns from work each day. I always assumed he was putting his tools away, but now i'm thinking otherwise.

I'm questioning why he would need another (secret) mobile phone. i can only think the worst right?

It was bugging me all weekend so last night I asked him about the phone. He told me its a very old phone he used to own and someone at work told him he could enter a code and then make free calls from it. I questioned further whether it actually worked and he said he tried, but got cut off. I said how gr8 it would be to have a phone wher we wouldn't have to pay for calls, but he said that he didn't think it was possible. more like he didn't want me to see the phone right?

Since I saw the phone in the garage on the fri, he has hid it. I can't find it anywhere. He doesn't leave it around like his other mobile phone. Why would he hide this from me?

I've never felt this way before. We've been married for 10 years. Should I be suspiscious? Is he upto something and how do I find out?

its the naked sitting in the garage which worries me tbh esp when their is 2 children in the house?

lilymolly, i agree. He was just waiting for me to leave the house, so he could rush into the garage and call / txt whoever.

check out my weekend horoscope - No matter what happens now, you will continue to have a question that you cannot answer. A week, a month, even a decade from now, you will still be struggling to explain or resolve it satisfactorily. You may as well get used to this idea. Bad news? No. The fact of the matter is that, though there is no way to settle the matter, it really doesn't matter that the matter isn't settled. Coming events will soon prove you are safe to ignore an old bone of contention and just move on.

hmm...

Ok... an honest but guilty secret here! When we were selling our house 2 years ago, the property was sticking on the market. We always wen out for viewings leaving the agent to get on with it but one day i decided to check up on her as i doubted she was really trying to sell the house. So I plugged the baby monitor into the sittingroom and sat outside in the street (in my car) listening to the whole conversation on the cordless other part!

You could pretend to go out again, drive off down the street, walk back and listen outside the garage door.

You have every right to be suspicious, you need to speak to him tonight, do not be fobbed off, i know you dont want to hear answers, but you know deep down something isnt right and you need to get to the bottom of it.

Very suspicious indeed. YANBU.

I don't think it's sex chatlines. I mean? Why wank in the garage if you could get it out in a locked bathroom...much more relaxing me thinks.

Nanog: Could you go over your last bank statements? Has he withdrawn any money from ATMs which are normally not en route to work, etc. his usual areas? Receipts, bills, etc. for restaurants, pubs, gifts which seem odd? Out of his normal routine?

Mobile phone numbers you can dial to make free calls? [Snort] Puhleaze! Sounds like the type of man that will lie until he believes the stuff he says himself.

Wishing you luck for tonight!

I'm liking quinne's baby monitor listening device thing. Could you go with that one? Putting it in the garage of course.

Well, I guess if we're already on gadgets then I suggest 2 things as a baby monitor in the garage would be somewhat suspicious but the idea is great:

www.keyghost.com/index.htm

This one is great. I know it's costly but very worth it. You can catch him out on your home PC, or his laptop, he'd never know.

and a small spycam: www.spyequipmentuk.co.uk/

I have bought from them before and found it very helpful.

wow! thanks Alexa. Will research into those.

As for the car - I took the keys and opened the boot. He saw me from the garden and asked what i was looking for. i said a library book that I couldn't find.

I noticed his wallet. He'd left it in the car. He then said he needed the keys because he was going to take some compost over to in-laws. I said i was going to tesco's and he could take my car instead.

He said, he needed to take his tools too, which were already in the boot, so no point in swapping cars, as everything he needs for the in-laws was in his car.

So, i didn't get a chance to get a thorouch look round. i suspect phone will be in his toolbox. We're off to Ikea in a bit. I'll load and unload the car in the hope to find something.

Hoping for the best possible outcome Nanog.

Alexa, you are a dark horse

OOOOhhh sounds fishy... Isn't it awful though when you think about it? I really hope and pray its nothing. Would he normally ask what you were looking for? Do you feel like he's suspicious?

I haven't been able to get anywhere near the car or his wallet. However, i did find a number on his mobile phone (the one he uses all the time) its a 12 digit number, with 2 hash keys. Is this a caller ID for a pay as you go phone?

Sorry I have no idea how pay as you go works, as i've always had a phone on contract.

If you top up with a voucher that you can buy at any paypoint then usually it is a 16 digit nr, and only one hash key when you finish putting the nr, in. (thats with Tmobile top ups) but as you call in to top up you have to enter say, 1, for top up, then 2 for 'top up voucher', then the 16 digit nr. of the voucher. SO it would appear an 18 digit nr + hash key. But perhaps he's used his credit/debit card to top up?

You need to ask him.

Naked in the garage is totally bizarre.

If you feel uncomfortable, then baby monitor good idea, as is driving off and sneaking back to listen.

I don't think you're paranoid at all. And his pathetic explanation of free calls is worrying.

I hope you get to the bottom of this, it must be driving you mad.

ConstanceWearing: yes, ask my long suffering DH

I had top up cards before and as Kally points out, you key in the top up card number, followed by #, then the code, again followed by #.

Your car discussion reminds me an awful lot of the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith, the one where they're having dinner and both know about the other's profession and Brad doesn't want to drink the red wine...hilarious.

Leaving the kids on their own and sit starkers in the garage is not on. Nanog, is there anything else that has recently changed? Did youcheck ATM withdrawals? Search his trousers, jackets, honestly, I'd turn your house upside down, starting with the garage and car.

Hope you do get answers and they're harmless. Fingers crossed!

If you phone any customer services centres you will get on your call display a number, then a hash, followed by 1, or 2 or whatever, then another hash, and so on. Could be any of those types of calls, might be nothing to do with a top up number.

FWIW something v odd is most definately going on IMO. And you have given your partner enough evidence for him to set about clearing up his tracks so I think you will struggle to find anything for a while.

I would leave it for a week or so and act completely normally (no trying to borrow his car or anything), then get a couple of cans of beer down DH, wait till he is asleep, then go and search properly.

I also like the baby monitor idea v much.

good advice squiffy.

wait 'til his defences are down and then do a thorough search when he's slumbering.

He's done a reasonable job of trying to explain the phone. But how the hell did he explain about why on god's earth, he was naked in the garage???

I don't get this at all.

I must've asked him like 3 times, "what on earth r u doing sitting stark naked in the garage", he kept repeating,"i'm doing nothing - i'm just abt to get in the shower now" and then he moved, taking the phone with him. AAGGHH - wish i cud turn the clock back and demanded I see who he was calling. But i was so phased by seeing him (not that i've never seen him naked b4 lol) but it was more the situation i.e. he thought he was alone and the environment i.e. the garage

u guys r prob rite..i need to lay low for a while and then make my move!

I would sit down and have it out. Why wait or try to sneak about? If he didn't tell me what was going on then I wouldn't rest, I can't think of any reason he'd be naked in the garage on the phone.

You need to confront him before he has even more time to think up excuses imo. It's beyond odd.

I've checked the computer history and nothing to suggest anything out of the ordainary. I'm checking thro bank statements at the moment.

He suddenly gets a free hour when you are not around to see what he does and what he wants to do is so important that he abandons his shower to make a phone call?
He's either having some sort of nervous breakdown or he is trying to speak to someone he doesn't want you to know about - could be anything from an affair to a surprise birthday party for you.

Nanog: I'd note the mileage on his car and if you can, monitor it. Anything out of the ordinary? Miles to and from work accurate? Or more? Detours?

Why not just ask and talk to him rather than all the subterfuge?