Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

HW - am worried you are sounding as jaded as me almost. H is drowning his sorrows. How are you dealing with yours - apart from coming on here? It sounds like you need a good night out with some friends. You do an amazing job caring for 4 children and all the organisation that takes, you're still with your h despite everything............you definitely deserve some pampering. I sometimes get depressed by the ordinariness of life and I think it's because the the shock of the affair and the weeks afterward sent my adrenaline sky high and suddenly nothing was certain anymore. In a way, that was exciting. Though of course all I craved was the ordinary life I had pre-affair. Now it is ordinary but tainted. Hard to explain and I don't know if I can put it into words. I find myself daydreaming a lot about other ways of living my life.

Jenk - sorry you are in this situation especially with two children who need extra care. Your h might be an excellent father but living apart means you will have to do a lot more of the childcare. Was he not prepared to go for counselling to try and save the relationship?

Baffy - has ds started Reception - or is it pre-school? I think I thought it was pre-school. Glad he has settled in. Your devotion to him shines through in all your messages Sorry you are not good at the mo, though totally understandable. Hope you are getting support.

Tannee - your dp knows he misuses alcohol so no point in stating the obvious. Hopefully he will find better ways of dealing with problems - maybe the counselling will help. H used to call me a lush - hence my name. I wasn't at all. I rarely drank a bottle of wine in one night, though would drink half a bottle a few times a week. The way I stopped initially was I would have 4 alcohol free days per week regardless of how shit my day at work was (Sun-Weds)then the days I did drink were non work days so generally I was not stressed. There are lots of strategies for reducing alcohol intake if he is interested and the counsellor would probably be able to offer some advice. I hope it is all innocent wrt this silly woman. I hope he gets in contact with you soon.

ladylush - that is a good way of describing it, I almost want to catch h at it so i can prove i really do meant to walk if he does it again. does that make sense. and i find myself daydreaming about it too this is not wishfull thinking you understand.

i can identify with that HW, i almost want DH to go with one of his "skankies" because then he might realise what hes thrown away.

i know it is only a matter of days before it happens,thats wot he wanted when he was with me and ive set him free so hes free to do it.

Started on the Glam and Fab part of my life now.

yesterday i bought 2 yes 2 new coats from next.

a posh one here

and one for the school run here

and the best thing is i ordered a size 16 cos have lost weight thru stress,havent been a 16 for about 4 years!!!!

getting my nails done on friday and i want a new hairstyle,im going to ask on the style thread,and i feel better already.

HW I know exactly what you mean - it's like a constant itch that you can't scratch.

Jenk - good for you re. pampering. It will make you feel tons better. You know you deserve it.

I'm off for a smear. Oh joy

just put a couple of pics on my profile for a limited time only,just so people can put a face to the name.

Morning every one,

Just reading everyone's post is giving me strength and amazes me how strong everyone seems, even though someone you are hurting.

Had a text from DP saying that "he was laid in bed crying and that he misses me so much and that its going to take a long time to get over me" is he playing mind games?

Jenk - how are you feeling today?

Dior - Well done on the weight loss you look gorgeous as you are.

Jenk - Love the pictures,children look gorgeous.

Witchy - don't know about you but I feel like slapping your not so d p. What a cheek Did you reply?

No I havent replied yet. My mum said I should have text back "who's bed are you in"

Also re your boys, when he chose you he chose your sons as well. If they were his biological kids would he be less inclined to walk? Totally out of order. As far as kids are concerned you have to take the rough with the smooth and two of you working as a team is easier than one doing all the hard work.

Ha ha at your mum's suggestion

sorry haven't been posting recently. just way too busy at home and at work. i am lurking tho.

Lily, sorry to hear you're under so much pressure at the moment.

Please don't duck out tho, we'd miss you very much as we do TFM.

Can you ask DP to send me your mobile number so we can text? Or your email address or something so we can keep in touch a bit more?

Hope everyone else coping okay.

He says he doesnt like to get involved with the boys eg telling them off etc. But teenagers I am finding are a pain, and even though I dont like to admit it I could just walk out but like you say you have to take the rough with the smooth. I think he is maybe saying all that to make him feel less guilty.

Mum's remark made me smile.

So you have been raising them alone anyway then. Cos that's what it amounts to if you are doing the discipline. fwiw I often feel like running away too - and ds only 4 A fantasy to run away....why do men feel they deserve to actually live that fantasy and we don't. Twats!

Lilyloo - sorry I didn't see your post. So sorry you are feeling down but don't disappear. You don't have to come on here to support............come and be supported You must be knackered and strung out looking after 3 poorly dc. Worrying about dp must make it tons worse

Just a very quick one - lilyloo are you ok??

Totally understand about finding it hard to support people when you're struggling so much yourself.

I am going to CAT you. I don't think I have your mobile do I.

Can you come on the FB group so you can talk to the people who know you well and it's away from here?

TFM you too - I think you'll be lurking And we do miss you. I think both of you could do with some support from your friends right now, without feeling as though you need to be supporting others. IYSWIM. Please let us help xx

ladylush thanks for your kind words

HW and Macd {{hugs}} Thinking of you both.

Witchy - crying? missing you? not wanting to mete out discipline to your boys? WTF???? Are they his sons? If yes, then WHY does he not want to get involved? Does he like to be the 'good cop' while you play 'bad cop'? Teenagers can be challenging, but they are a responsibility that he has no right to shirk! I can see all the Fab & Glams lining up to give him a good slapping!

Lilyloo, don't leave us!!!

Ladylush, good to hear your strategy for reducing the booze. I do hope he seeks help - but that's up to him. I'm stepping back from commenting or criticising him to his face, as a certain person we all know and love advised.

He finally texted just as I was leaving work - it was a lovely romantic text, but said he hadn't received my previous one till 'very late'. Yes, I did send it at midnight, but I don't understand why he couldn't have texted at any time on Sunday or yesterday without prompting. Am just putting it down to being a man. He doesn't seem to have spent a huge amount of time with Norfolk Lady, she went home to bed whilst he and the others had a party on the beach by moonlight. They spent Sunday evening watching Sky sport together, but he admitted he'd have preferred to come home on Sunday afternoon and be with me . I couldn't resist it - I finally asked, "And how IS NL?" "Oh, fine," he said. "And did she ask after me?" - "No," he admitted, "I don't think she mentioned you at all - though I talked of you of course". Well, I shall have to be content with that. Just have to trust him, really, and he did seem very glad to be back with me.

So Dior & HW, I'm calling you off - I have enough problems without imagined infidelity, and I shall leave that silly woman to her own lonely life ! It's quite nice to think that other people find him fanciable, as long as he doesn't respond - it keeps me on my toes!

Next Relate session tonight- feeling a bit apprehensive...

Baffy, Hi - yes, agree with you - Lilyloo and TFM, if you feel like FBing the Teabags, please do. Lily, you don't have to support the rest of us, let us support you!

Oh, and Jenk1, love your pics, good to put a face to you and your dcs are gorgeous. So are your new coats! Fab & Glam, that's the way .

Tannee - glad your mind is at rest re. dp. Hope counselling goes ok. I think you're right to not talk about his drinking - unless it comes up in counselling. I think you have the right to discuss how it makes you feel but might be best to limit it to certain times so that it doesn't come across as nagging.

Baffy, good to hear from you briefly
But before you disappear again.....is ds in Reception now?

Just a quick word from TFM, she's absolutely fine and appreciates everyone's asking after her. She's really busy with the DC and looking after DP's grandma who isn't very at the moment.

She sends her love.

Pre-school LL. He's only ever been with grandparents so far (hence the tears!), so pre-school this year (in the year that he's 4) then reception next year xx

Glad she's ok pc

Aha, so hopefully he will be fine by the time he goes to Reception. It will just be you in tears I still feel very emotional about ds starting school. I have these fluttery feelings in my tummy

Say hi to TFM - can understand how busy she must be. It's a lovely thing she is doing taking care of her dp's mum.