How would you feel/react if a new man said the following about your body after sex?

[honkytonkwoman]

(1) "It's too bushy." Said about easy-to-guess bits, which I had (I thought) trimmed very neatly the evening before.

(2) "Your clitoris is not very easy to find."

(3) "Ooh, your legs are a bit stubbly - you need to Immac." Said, again, while cuddling in the early hours of the morning, and at the very early stages of grow-back - I'd shaved the morning before, less than 24 hours previously.

I want to know how others would respond or react to this, before I say anymore. Thanks.

"remind me to get a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass so i can find your dick!"

..as i slamed the door on him.

Print this thread out and send it to him.He is a wanker of the highest order and needs to see it written down..by lots and lots of different women

I would punch him I think.

or perhaps knee him in the groin and then say "oh sorrrrrry" in my most sarcastic voice.

I certainly wouldn't be giving him the opportunity of searching through my bushy bits to try to find my elusive clitoris again.

(if he can't find it, tis his problem, not yours!)

lolololol at your clitoris is not easy to find.
honestly, that is hysterical.
what a cock.

LOL at printing this thread out and sending it to him. I don't even want to think about how cross he'd be about that.

I haven't told him to fck the fck off yet, no. We're on not-speaking-for-a-few-days time, as I think I said in one of my posts. I'm not really a "fck off" kind of girl, although I did say to him as he left the following morning that if he couldn't accept my body as it is, he could fck off. He doesn't like swearing. I think I will calmly, and without apology, repeat this sentiment when we next speak. End of.

He is a porn-watcher. Personally, I will not have a bald fanjo on principle. I trim it for access in the necessary areas and, being a very hairy girl, neaten it up around the edges a bit - a la edging one's very overgrown lawn. I'm happy with that. Whoever I'm with has to be too. Like another poster said, I'm not averse to a bit of playful experimentation with this kind of stuff once a relationship is very established and trusting. But after two sessions in the sack?!

We talked about the stubbly legs thing on the phone yesterday, and you know, he said, well, he could "accommodate" it. What kind of a loving, accepting word is that?!

For me, there's some logic involved here: if one wants one's legs to be hair-free, one has to let something grow back to actually be waxed/shaved/Veeted. It is simply not possible to be 100% hair-free all the time. Doh.

< shakes head wearily >

Honky, I hope you are feeling ok this morning. This guy is a serious bell-end and if you don't get him out of your life, no matter how interesting/charming/kind he has seemed prior to this unpleasant little episode, his outrageous yet quite insidious little criticisms are going to erode your self-confidence and ruin your life. Please, get rid!

he is a wanker
tosser
twat
fool

he watches porn because all the real women have told him to fuck off.

You should do the same.

If he's watching a lot of porn he has a very unrealistic idea of what a normal woman looks like imo.

You don't have to use the words 'fuck off' he just has to understand that is the sentiment behind whichever pretier words you choose to dump him from a great height.

this has absolutely no possibility of turning into a good, mutually supportive relationship.

he is passive aggressive, belittling, controlling, and wants to turn you into something you are not, ie a porn star.

I don't think you should be even contemplating the possibility that this relationship might continue - I'd be sending him a text message saying "you know what? this isn't going to work. have a nice life" and then block his number from your phone.

Just seen this HTW - well done, you deserve better!! DH will occasionally tease me about hairy legs but we've been together for 15 yrs FFS.
BTW, one of DH's old mates swears by a little bit of underarm stubble - bet he'd be if he knew DH had told me that!

Ooh I used to have a boyfriend who liked to put me down, told me my clit was hard to find so I should get it pierced to save him time. (YEAH, RIGHT)

This was his favourite song...

Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie - Better Than I Am

I love you cos you're scared of me
I love you cos you're meek
I love you cos you're insecure, unconfident and weak
Some people think it's a powertrip but I don't give a damn
I love you cos you make me feel much better than I am

I love you cos you worry, you're always taking pills
You always watch the evening news and it always gives you chills
I love you cos you're shaking and cos you're always tense
Compared to you I'm mr cool - professor confidence

My mother told me long ago remember this one thing
Surround yourself with losers so that you can be their king
and if you choose to fall in love pick someone with a curse
So no matter how bad you may feel - she'll always feel much worse.

So put the self help books away, and those subliminal tapes
You're overweight but thats ok, come on and have another cake
I can be your better half and you can be my worse
I'm going drinking baby so I took some money from your purse.

I love you cos you're scared of me
Ilove you cos you're meek
I love you cos you're insecure, unconfident and weak
Some people think it's a powertrip but I don't give a damn.
I love you cos you make me feel like you're the captain and I'm t'neal
You are pork and I am veal
Like I'm the fortune and you're the wheel
I love you cos you make me feel much better than I am!

There are some real losers out there!

Arf at the clitoris comment- what an utter knobhead.

Message withdrawn

Is he utterly drop-dead gorgeous?

It's usually really less than perfect men who make these sorts of comments. I sued to work in a pub and watched all sorts of sweaty, grim-looking men criticising attractive women for having a slight "imperfection" (ie not being actually airbrushed).

In answer to your OP though...

1. off you fuck.
2. off you fuck.
3. hang on, I'll get my razor. Now, mind your throat.

I do indeed have a proper human lady's body, Pruners - minus the boobs! Well, they're very small. But again, this shouldn't need changing.

I'm with you on the quietly-not-liking-some-bits thing. It has to be OK, because no one's body is perfect (well, not in real life). But this not liking doesn't need to be aired, and these aspects need to be accepted - not "fixed" - for a relationship to work.

I know my clitoris is easy to find. I haven't had any trouble for, ooh, 18 years!

Message withdrawn

LOL Fabio (at the pistol-wielding cat) and hunker.

What's odd is that he is not an ugly drop-out. I'm more discerning than that - or thought I was.

He is a tall, good-looking, very well educated, handsome, articulate, perceptive, often caring, accomplished and minted man - who, by his own admission, has control issues, and who still isn't good enough for me. So there.

oh dear you need to kick him quite swiftly to the kerb, and buy him one of those "real" dolls and charge it to HIS card.

The thing is you couldn't sleep with him again anyway, because now he has shown himself up to a be complete tosser you could never fancy him, could you?

When you dump you MUST get some digs in, really patronise him and tell him about how he is the most useless shag you have ever had and that his cock smells of wee but you had been too polite to mention it before.

Draw a picture of ladies bits (ala school biology textbook), write on it next to clitoris 'clitoris is here' and then on some completely random bit, write 'you are here'. Email it to him at work.

I sounds like he was giving you a performance review. Has he set your targets for next time?

1. Make 'it' not so bushy. Give owner diagram of acceptable bushiness.
2. Have directional arrows (flourescent) added to aid discovery of the clitoris.
3. Make sure any leg hair is removed or soft. Will bring measuring device for this.

Sit down with him and list a pile of faults (seeing as we're being honest).

LOL. Do I really need to get some digs in? Doesn't that make me no better than him? I was thinking that a polite, succint and strong extrication was the way to go. End of. No?

Message withdrawn

"cock smells of wee"

hahaha PMSL

Hmm, I can see your point. Just smile sweetly and tell him that you are looking for someone who is more experienced and thoughtful.