How would you feel/react if a new man said the following about your body after sex?

[honkytonkwoman]

(1) "It's too bushy." Said about easy-to-guess bits, which I had (I thought) trimmed very neatly the evening before.

(2) "Your clitoris is not very easy to find."

(3) "Ooh, your legs are a bit stubbly - you need to Immac." Said, again, while cuddling in the early hours of the morning, and at the very early stages of grow-back - I'd shaved the morning before, less than 24 hours previously.

I want to know how others would respond or react to this, before I say anymore. Thanks.

Finish it without saying too much. If he wants to know why, sit him down and say 'I didn't really want to go into it too much but it would probably help you to know. Did you know that - insert various faults'.

If he admits he has control issues, he should atleast understand why when you tell him to fuck off. I think a relationship should be based on 10% physical attraction, and 90% mental attraction and mutual respect. He is making big issues out of the 10% bit which makes the 90% bit decrease to 0%. Jeez, I talk absolute rubbish sometimes!

Seriously honkytonk, I have my own issues with my DP at the moment, but that's another thread....for all his faults and our troubles, he would and has NEVER passed any comment about my hairyness!

I too am VERY hairy and it is something I hate about myself. I'm constantly battling to be a 'beach beauty' but sometimes you just can't be arsed.

My DP never moans or makes any derogitory comments. He tells me & (and his body language backs him up) that it makes no difference to him whether I am smooth as a baby's bum or as hairy & unkempt a gorilla - anywhere about my person!

This mans comments aren't acceptable and nor is the fact that he is now NOT mortified to have upset you so much.

Getting ready for laughing boy

Veet - £4.20
Clit piercing - £20
make it a full body waxing £40

Telling the swine his cock smells of wee

Priceless.

I think leave the digs. Just because he has behaved unacceptably, doesn't mean you have to lose your dignity. You are better - that's the point. If he asks you why you don't think you should see each other any more (and I appreciate he has other good qualities, but I truly believe that the little undermining taste you had the other night is probably the tip of the iceberg), just tell him that basically, you thought his comments were completely unacceptable, they made you feel very small (a cardinal sin after sleeping with someone!) and they didn't bode well for the future. Yes, it might be temporarily satisfying to bellow "Go and boil your face, Microdick" but I think he is then just going to write you off as a loon, when a genuine victory would be to leave him questioning his attitudes.

i'm with angie. thats my favouerite retort!!!

Message withdrawn

He sounds like a total prick (but then you know that). DH is so grateful to get any that it would never occur to him to complain if I haven't shaved my legs!

Don't be rude, though. Maintain your dignity and move on, he's really not worth any more of your thoughts.

Tell him sweetly that you've had a long think and although size shouldn't matter to you it does

Yes, Lady Thompson, that's got to be the best approach. You might want to frame it with: if you're wondering why you don't seem to have a lasting relationship with a woman, this feedback might be helpful for you...

The guy is obviously a total shitsmear, but it would be nice to think that he pauses for thought before he does this to the next poor woman. If you just go postal on him, he'll probably totally ignore it.

Thanks, girls. I'm with you, LadyThompson. Gizmo, forgive my ignorance, but what does "go postal" mean?

Now I'm mulling whether to break the silence to tell him my stance, or wait for him to call at the weekend, as he said he would. Hmm.

You are a lovely, confidence-boosting lot. Know that.

I would never see him again. I wouldn't talk to him again. I would delete his number and bad mouth him to all my friends.

I agree that you don't have to get digs in...just let him stew in his own confusion if he really fails to see what he has done

when he rings and says "hi its 'dave' (or whatever his name is)..say "dave?...dave who???..dave smith?..oh no, dave brown oops sorry"

I agree with not getting puerile about comments, but I think saying 'I don't want to see you any more because I think you are a control freak' is perfectly OK (and probably more effective than anything else).

going postal means going nuts / going off on one etc.

Wot TattooedGirl said.

About the ringing - on one hand it would be good to get it out of the way, but on the other hand, if you wait for him to ring you it may make you sound cooler, more considered. Was it yesterday you last discussed it? If so, I err towards waiting for him to ring you. Good luck. And I really hope you find another clever, foxy, minted bloke but with fewer hang ups. I'm 19 weeks pregnant at the mo - if my DP was hung up on every flaw (and whilst I take some pride in my appearance, they seem to multiply every week)...it would be unbearable. God knows he's not physically perfect, and anyway, you are never going to be able to let go during sex if you are having to fret about every square centimetre of your body.

PMSL at the "clitoris is hard to find" comment.

Perhaps his last partner was a ladyboy or similar . . .?

Worth asking him if she had an adams apple as well as an easy to find clitoris?

i agree.

rise above.

just don't contact anymore and when he does, just say, 'see ya.'

again, if he can't figure out why, do you really want someone that obtuse in addition to being such a wanker?

You are planning on speaking to this tit?

No no no no no no.

Txt hm.

Sry u r nt gd nuff 4 me. U r shtsmr. No dk. Rl l8diz not hrless. Gd luk in ur futur Ndevrs. HTW

Email him - saying that on consideration you would prefer if he didn't call you again, you have decided this relationship will not work and it would be best all round if he didn't contact you again. If he responds then you can tell him he's a control freak who made you feel bad about yourself and you prefer to be around supportive, positive people thanks.

what a twit.
i agree with PinkChick.

"Rl l8diz not hrless"

LOLOLOL
I wish I knew who you were Fabio, I never know who anyone is