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Reported family to SS and did a Sarah's Law. Mum knows its me. School Mums shunning me

193 replies

DDUndercover · 20/10/2026 17:54

My son has been attending a new school for the last year and a half.

It took me a LONG while to be accepted into a Mum's group and tbh they are all a bit rough and didnt align with how I live but some were lovely so it didnt bother me. Some less nice. Some a little awful

Over the last 3 months I became in increasingly concerned about one Mum. She openly lies about her health to get benefits, gives 'advice' on how to milk the system and has a child in year 5 and one in year 8. She is fairly nasty and aggressive. Very mouthy and the whole eff the police and government type. Both kids are ND and cognitively impaired. She took drugs and drank during both her pregnancies as 'no doctor is gonna tell me what to do'.

Anyway this all came to ahead recently when I found out her new partner was unable to see his bio kids due to allegations of sexual abuse. He had spent years inside for violent crime and has tear drop tattoos on his face as well as other various ones on his body including two fairly racist ones. She has moved him in weeks after his release. He is also a heavy drug user.

Then the revelation. She was showing some weekend pics (she went on a boozy weekend) and when I asked where her kids were revealed she frequently left her 9 year old alone with her partner overnight. The same day I found this out she also revealed that she had got annoyed at the kids laughing/making noise on the PS5 and so when her elder DC had walked passed her to get a drink she 'tapped' him with the hot iron - it didnt blister but left a red burn. This is why she went on a boozy weekend, she wanted a break.

The same day this conversation happened I spoke to the school, I did a Sarah's law and called the councils safeguarding team. I told them of both events

I then spoke to the other mums in the group who have known her years and they revealed lots of other horror stories, including how she had temporarily lost custody of her eldest when he was a baby due to her drug use and choice of partner. Her son is also known to SS and the police for another reason which is too outing to say here. It was all very shrug shrug what can we do its what shes like shell never change etc

Later that night I couldnt sleep worrying and called their emergency out of hours service and spilled every single observation I had, stuff I had witnessed and screenshots from her social media page and WhatsApp group messages. All the little niggly things, references and minor concerns.

A few days pass and suddenly I am blocked by ALL the school mums in this friend group. No one is speaking to me. Nothing. We go to clubs together on a Wednesday and no one turned up. All sorts.

Yesterday one of the more distant mums approached me and revealed that both SS and police had attended the property, the partner was in violation of something and was removed and the Mum was questioned. The kids are now on a child protection plan and are having weekly visits. The Mum is ENRAGED.

The issue is this - when I called the emergency line I was quite upset and spilled EVERYTHING - including a detail only I knew. When she was questioned she was asked about this event that only I saw and hence knows its me and has told the others. The others feel that I have betrayed the confidence of the mum group and that we all struggle at times and that I have basically been a snake.

I am finding it hard - I am ASD and struggle socially anyway and theres loads more context here as a LAC myself and wanting to fit in etc. But there was no way I couldnt not do anything.

My BIG fear though - her partner is violent and a heavy drug user. She knows where I live and now she knows I reported her. SS and the police promised to keep my details confidential and did - I slipped when I revealed an event that only I knew about and basically outed myself

Not sure what I am asking. Just feeling nervous. But also very very sad for the kids and myself. I have always been on the outside and finally found people to do playdates with and now I have lost that. I dont regret what I did.

OP posts:
InkyWink · 20/10/2026 20:18

I think you're a hero.

exhausted100 · 20/10/2026 20:20

You are amazing! Well done for doing the right thing. There must have been a concern from authorities for them to put the plan in place.

As for your own safety I would def get a good quality cctv system fitted. Ensure good lighting too with the darker evenings drawing in. And report everything to the police.

It’s sad that the other parents have been off with you. And tbh they are just as bad as her if they knew this was all happening and didn’t report. Your better off without people like that in your life. Well done OP.

Crazybigtoe · 20/10/2026 20:20

Move

SausageSausages · 20/10/2026 20:20

I just want to echo what everyone else said you 💯 did the right thing. Those kids need protection and when you hear from adults who were abused as children and no one spoke up for them it is heartbreaking.

They won't know for certain it was you, you could have mentioned it to anyone and they have reported it.

People like you make the world a better place.

SirenScream · 20/10/2026 20:20

Zanatdy · 20/10/2026 20:11

Well done OP. Takes a lot of courage to report, and i’m sorry its made life difficult for you. Shame on those other mothers turning a blind eye. Child protection is everyone’s business and they should be applauding you, not cancelling you.

I agree with all this.

ImmortalNowBabyDoll · 20/10/2026 20:22

You did the right thing. It sounds like the school has a lot of social issues. Is there no other options?

Catupatree123 · 20/10/2026 20:23

You did the right thing. You reported things she’d admitted to and you had witnessed, I can’t imagine the things that may have happened to those children she isn’t willing to admit and you undoubtedly have prevented further harm.
I’m sorry the other mum’s are being awful but you truly don’t want to be friends with people who sat back and turned a blind eye.

The advice here re 101 etc is good, stay safe. Hang in there.

Sid077 · 20/10/2026 20:24

You’re very brave and did the right thing. Those women who are ostracising you can’t even be honest with themselves and acknowledge you did the right thing for those poor kids, much easier for them to go with the herd and stick their head in the sand, doesn’t help vulnerable children though. Hold your head up high, those children’s situation has improved already with that man gone from their home and more oversight from authorities. Well done.

Hummingbird233 · 20/10/2026 20:24

To be frank, good riddance to the lot of them. They clearly don’t care about the children and they should be utterly ashamed. They’re either heartless and cruel, or thick as two planks.

You did the right thing. Well done for being on the kids side. If she admits to scolding her children, god knows what she does and doesn’t tell. The fact that she’s willing for her 9 yr to be sexually abused, means she’s a shit poor mum and doesn’t deserve to have them.

They don’t sound like friends, I’d rather have no friends than a group like that.

Get some decent cameras and keep the police informed. My instinct is he’ll lay low as he won’t want to go back inside.

BillieWiper · 20/10/2026 20:24

If it's not too late I'd either deny it was me, and say I told others about x event as it was so upsetting. Or just say nothing and accept they aren't decent people. They may be being 'loyal' and realise they're wrong for not reporting it. So it could be embarassment on their part. Trying to shun you for doing the right thing.

Picoloangel · 20/10/2026 20:28

💯 the right thing. They are defending the indefensible

Joeylove88 · 20/10/2026 20:31

Well done for doing the right thing and protecting those children above everything else. They all sound completely vile good riddance to the lot of them. Your children are better off without them aswell you wouldn't want them mixing with people like that anyway.

chirrupybird · 20/10/2026 20:32

Just say you told lots of people about the thing you only witnessed if you are asked.

If you can contact the mums just say it wasn't you and you have no idea who did it. It sounds like they really don't know it was you.

mathanxiety · 20/10/2026 20:32

You did the right thing.

I'd consider moving though. The people you're stuck with don't sound great, tbh.

MerryAquaKoala · 20/10/2026 20:33

'I slipped when I revealed an event that only I knew about and basically outed myself'

'But this one thing happened when it was only me and her'

What was it?

PS. I don't know if this thread is for real or not (would a poster Really say they've got a bunch of new school mum friends but 'they're a bit rough'?), but if it is I'd get it removed OP.

Autumnalhibernationisthedream · 20/10/2026 20:37

Op another one who says consider moving somehow- anyhow- all those women knew all that crap and are shunning you- it sounds like a horrible group/ place/ school

britneyisfreebutnotokay · 20/10/2026 20:39

You did the right thing. Move schools asap. Get the police to write a letter so you can get a space asap.

GucciBear · 20/10/2026 20:39

The whole lot of them sound ghastly. What is the significance of a tear drop tattoo?

AlwaysSometimesNever · 20/10/2026 20:39

You are brave and right.
They are the ones in the wrong and should be ashamed of themselves treating you so.

notanothernamesurely · 20/10/2026 20:43

Yehhhhh these aren’t you people!

well done for protecting those kids!! If these are the things she’s openly talking about god only knows what’s going on behind closed doors.

Francestein · 20/10/2026 20:44

I think you should let SS and the police know what’s happened and that you are very concerned about retaliation.

seahorsessky · 20/10/2026 20:49

Isn't it scary that all these people have kids? And I hardly think your school is a one-off, OP. Maybe if enough people complain about mothers who only seem to see their kids as a meal ticket, they'll get removed and there won't be as many in the next generation. You might not only have saved some of these kids, OP, but many of the ones they would have had when they grew up.
Probably wishful thinking, but you can at least hope that the mother will get them taken away and they'll go to a nice family who will love them, OP.

Bluehouse14 · 20/10/2026 20:50

You did the right thing and Im glad you dont regret it. These friends arent worth having- friends that help cover up potential abuse and general crap behaviour. These are not the sort of families Id want my dc mixing with anyway!

QuickMintCat · 20/10/2026 20:50

Going on a night out and basically leaving a sex offender babysitting because she was stressed from abusing her own child with a hot iron . . Wow. It sounds like the kind of environment where there could easily be sexual abuse or serious harm/an accidental death due to neglect or abuse. You 100% did the right thing. If they target you or your family, they'll get in more trouble but take the precautions as advised.

mindutopia · 20/10/2026 20:51

You absolutely did the right thing. This bunch of losers is not worth losing sleep over. I couldn’t even imagine stooping so low as to be in a social group with people like that. There are plenty of lovely people out there. You don’t need to be friends with mums from school just because they’re mums from school. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Raise your standards and move on. Let them freeze you out. Who cares? You can cultivate better friendships.

It’s shocking but not shocking though that he wasn’t being properly followed up in the community such that he was living with children while on a SHPO (which would ban him from living with children!). It’s not shocking because a similar thing happened with two family members who were around children when they had been convicted of offences and released from prison on a SHPO.

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