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Reported family to SS and did a Sarah's Law. Mum knows its me. School Mums shunning me

193 replies

DDUndercover · 20/10/2026 17:54

My son has been attending a new school for the last year and a half.

It took me a LONG while to be accepted into a Mum's group and tbh they are all a bit rough and didnt align with how I live but some were lovely so it didnt bother me. Some less nice. Some a little awful

Over the last 3 months I became in increasingly concerned about one Mum. She openly lies about her health to get benefits, gives 'advice' on how to milk the system and has a child in year 5 and one in year 8. She is fairly nasty and aggressive. Very mouthy and the whole eff the police and government type. Both kids are ND and cognitively impaired. She took drugs and drank during both her pregnancies as 'no doctor is gonna tell me what to do'.

Anyway this all came to ahead recently when I found out her new partner was unable to see his bio kids due to allegations of sexual abuse. He had spent years inside for violent crime and has tear drop tattoos on his face as well as other various ones on his body including two fairly racist ones. She has moved him in weeks after his release. He is also a heavy drug user.

Then the revelation. She was showing some weekend pics (she went on a boozy weekend) and when I asked where her kids were revealed she frequently left her 9 year old alone with her partner overnight. The same day I found this out she also revealed that she had got annoyed at the kids laughing/making noise on the PS5 and so when her elder DC had walked passed her to get a drink she 'tapped' him with the hot iron - it didnt blister but left a red burn. This is why she went on a boozy weekend, she wanted a break.

The same day this conversation happened I spoke to the school, I did a Sarah's law and called the councils safeguarding team. I told them of both events

I then spoke to the other mums in the group who have known her years and they revealed lots of other horror stories, including how she had temporarily lost custody of her eldest when he was a baby due to her drug use and choice of partner. Her son is also known to SS and the police for another reason which is too outing to say here. It was all very shrug shrug what can we do its what shes like shell never change etc

Later that night I couldnt sleep worrying and called their emergency out of hours service and spilled every single observation I had, stuff I had witnessed and screenshots from her social media page and WhatsApp group messages. All the little niggly things, references and minor concerns.

A few days pass and suddenly I am blocked by ALL the school mums in this friend group. No one is speaking to me. Nothing. We go to clubs together on a Wednesday and no one turned up. All sorts.

Yesterday one of the more distant mums approached me and revealed that both SS and police had attended the property, the partner was in violation of something and was removed and the Mum was questioned. The kids are now on a child protection plan and are having weekly visits. The Mum is ENRAGED.

The issue is this - when I called the emergency line I was quite upset and spilled EVERYTHING - including a detail only I knew. When she was questioned she was asked about this event that only I saw and hence knows its me and has told the others. The others feel that I have betrayed the confidence of the mum group and that we all struggle at times and that I have basically been a snake.

I am finding it hard - I am ASD and struggle socially anyway and theres loads more context here as a LAC myself and wanting to fit in etc. But there was no way I couldnt not do anything.

My BIG fear though - her partner is violent and a heavy drug user. She knows where I live and now she knows I reported her. SS and the police promised to keep my details confidential and did - I slipped when I revealed an event that only I knew about and basically outed myself

Not sure what I am asking. Just feeling nervous. But also very very sad for the kids and myself. I have always been on the outside and finally found people to do playdates with and now I have lost that. I dont regret what I did.

OP posts:
FrogsAtDawn · 20/10/2026 18:56

Anyone who decides to unfriend you to protect a child abuser is not someone you should want as a friend. Very concerning that someone said they all struggle at times and you’re a snake etc. If they can see themselves in her behaviour then I feel sorry for their children too. Tbh in your situation I’d probably change my child’s school.

Lucyslateagain · 20/10/2026 18:58

If you haven't changed enough details to be anonymous
Id get this thread taken down op

WildLeader · 20/10/2026 19:01

I’d move the kids. No way is this school good enough to provide any form of safeguarding for their pupils

Reluctantsuburban · 20/10/2026 19:04

You are a decent person for doing this and did the right thing.
Why are the other parents not saying anything, I don't understand why this mum has influence. It must be so upsetting for you, I'd definitely look into counselling for yourself. Take care.

ManchesterGirl2 · 20/10/2026 19:05

What a horrible situation. You did the right thing for those kids.

Would it be possible for you to move and change schools? That whole group of parents sounds awful, excluding you instead of the abuser. Sounds a horrible environment to be stuck in.

Reluctantsuburban · 20/10/2026 19:05

Lindy2 · 20/10/2026 18:31

You've done the right thing OP. Absolutely the right thing.

If anyone thinks or says otherwise then they're not worth knowing. These women are not good people or friends.

If only someone had been able to do the same for Sara Shariff when she was burnt with a hot iron. You may have saved those children.

If you feel uncomfortable with anything she or her awful partner say or do report them to the police.

This isn't the only group of women at your children's school. Please try and find a better group who wouldn't turn a blind eye to child abuse.

This is exactly what I thought. You could have saved a life here OP..

ilovebrie8 · 20/10/2026 19:08

Lindy2 · 20/10/2026 18:31

You've done the right thing OP. Absolutely the right thing.

If anyone thinks or says otherwise then they're not worth knowing. These women are not good people or friends.

If only someone had been able to do the same for Sara Shariff when she was burnt with a hot iron. You may have saved those children.

If you feel uncomfortable with anything she or her awful partner say or do report them to the police.

This isn't the only group of women at your children's school. Please try and find a better group who wouldn't turn a blind eye to child abuse.

Agree with this post .

You have 100% done the right thing OP.

The Sara Shariff story was horrific and no one spoke out. She was burnt and all sorts.

You didn’t turn a blind eye and that’s admirable.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 20/10/2026 19:08

I would see about moving your child’s school.

In the meantime, speak to the police for support to keep you and your DC safe. Also, speak to the school so they know what has handed.

Finally, I’d get angry with this mother and the other school mums. How dare they judge you when they have either injured children or done nothing about it. They are the scum and they are the ones who should be ashamed.

Makebelieveanotherlife · 20/10/2026 19:09

Well done for doing the right then. When we hear of a horrific case then everyone questions why no one said anything. You are brave and one of a kind - all the others condoned this. That disgusting woman doesn’t deserve her kids. She sounds rough, cheap and a disgrace of a mother.

askmenow · 20/10/2026 19:09

If only there were more people like you OP!

Too many would just be cowardly and stand by doing zilch as is evidenced by the other mums standing back.
Oh and (heaven forbid) were anything to happen to those children, then the same mums would throw up their hands in horror and ask why did nobody DO anything? Doh. 😩

Foodwench66 · 20/10/2026 19:10

You did the right thing. I would be happy to be shunned and blocked by all those people that didn't care about these children. Thank God for you.
I'd make sure you have a security system and cameras for sure.

Random321 · 20/10/2026 19:11

You are an absolute hero OP. The world would be a better plave of more people were like you.

Those kids needed someone to help them, stand up for them & take them out of a very neglectful and dangerous home.

Too many people stand aside and let sit like this happen & then post RIP poor child on social media as if that compensates in some day being a shitty bystander.

Don't even feel bad about doing the right think. Anyone who judges you is morally deficient.

If you are worried about your safety, contact the police for advice.

Newsenmum · 20/10/2026 19:11

Thank you so much for doing this.

Stay away from all of them.

Hadenough32 · 20/10/2026 19:12

Move schools. Save yourself and child so much troubles.

Attenboroughsmistress · 20/10/2026 19:14

Is it possible to move or at least move schools OP? It sounds like this one is filled with some horrible people so I would just be more generally concerned that they’re your children’s peer group going up? Friends have such a big influence on children and teenagers! Even if you don’t move house, if you could move schools that could make a positive difference (and scary mum might forget about you/think you’ve left the area so that reduces that worry too)

Uberella · 20/10/2026 19:14

DDUndercover · 20/10/2026 18:05

My DC are with their Dad tonight so I have escaped to my elder brothers. I will call 101. Just feel so panicked and overwhelmed which is daft. I think some of this is my own stuff from my own childhood and why I was taken into care coming up.

And yes these are women who I dont want as friends but they are the only ones I had as we only moved her 1.5 years ago.

I struggle socially and theres guilt that my kids are going to lose out now. Trick or treating with them gone, pumpkin carving gone and the Xmas party gone. Dumb stuff I know but its all in my mind atm

I also have to see said Mum on school run. I have avoided this thus far as she is often late and we are early but at some point I will see her

To be kind here you don’t want to be friends with a group of adults who normalise child abuse/neglect/endangerment.

These school mums are a bunch of sheep who want to be friends with a queen bee who is an absolute scum bag.

There’s more to life than a bunch of playground bitches.

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 20/10/2026 19:15

I think you’ve been incredibly brave and you should be proud of yourself. His know what course happened to those kids. Please try and rise above it and be safe in the knowledge you did the right thing. It sounds like they’d be better off out of her care anyway.

Ocean67 · 20/10/2026 19:17

Well done for doing the right thing. I’m disgusted that all these women shunned you … you’d think they would be relieved that she was reported. It takes massive courage to take a stand but I completely understand how you feel , and the fear of retaliation is very real.
There’s lots of fantastic advice here and hopefully enough to get you through this tricky time.
Big hugs xxx

OffTheMap · 20/10/2026 19:17

You did the right thing, the only thing you could have done and you saved those children.

Is there one ‘lovely’ friend who you trust who you could talk to? And say that given the risk and abuse to the children you had no choice. And would they rather see the kids live with a violent sex abusing drug user and a woman who burns her kids with an iron?

Chocolateistheanswer2026 · 20/10/2026 19:19

You absolutely did the right thing and those children will be safer as a result. That is something to be proud of and you are an amazing person. The people shunning you are disgusting with no morals if they kept turning a blind eye to this woan's shocming behaviour. If there are other mums around at school perhaps you can make an effort with them and hope a friendship develops. Speak to the police as there is support they can offer and they can flag your address in case they do turn up. I'm sorry you are suffering for doing the right thing, it's awful, but at least you can live with yourself knowing you did something positive.

Marycontrarygarden · 20/10/2026 19:19

Well-done to you, I am so sorry you have these consequences but what the hell are the other Mums thinking! You are the one in the right, you go and hold your head up high, they should be ASHAMED they did nothing to help those children.

PepsiBook · 20/10/2026 19:20

You've done the right thing. Not being friends with these women is a good thing.

DirtyGertiefromno30 · 20/10/2026 19:20

You don't need ppl like this in you or your children's life @DDUndercover.

Starbri8 · 20/10/2026 19:23

I think you did a very brave thing and saved those kids from further abuse. . You are a lovely decent person and those other Mums are disgusting for not reporting. How the hell do they sleep at night knowing what they do….you are a person worth knowing . They are scumbags. ❤️

Fairy25 · 20/10/2026 19:27

Well done and big hugs. You definitely did the right thing and all the others are in the wrong. It sounds a dreadful group of mums. Of course we all get things wrong g but this is a whole new level!