He brang my daughter's sex life in an argument - feel sick - what to do?? Handhold please

[SavageStoneAge]

Need to vent somewhere as can't talk to family and friends as it is so disturbing / disgusting.

I have been with "D"P for 2 years. It has not been plain sailing. He has been abusive to me, mostly verbal but really vicious things.

I said, in desperation really, that if DD (who's 23) told me her boyfriend treated her like he treats me I would tell her to end it. Because he just couldn't see how the latest thing he had said, to upset me, was so nasty.

He replied saying if "I had a son I would also tell him to get the fuck out [if son was treated badly by someone like me] but I would be a good father and not go out and get drunk with my son and let him fuck like rabbits with 2 or 3 men in a month. Thank God I will never be a father and I won't leave another monster behind 👹, who doesn't have a sense of reality 🥰🫶"

I just feel absolutely sick. It is true I have gone out with DD and had a few drinks. But she is 23!!!! And he knew she split up with her long-term high-school boyfriend, dated someone else, then ended up with her current partner, who's lovely. But what is freaking me out is the way he references my daughter "fucking like a rabbit". It's just so abhorrent to me. He's met her, and they've been cordial. And all the while he has been secretly judging her.

Also implicitly calling me a monster and saying I am leaving behind another one (IE, my DD).
I don't know what to do now. Every time I look at DD I feel sick thinking about what he has said about her. I had mentioned her relationship changes in passing because we are very close; but not in any detail.

Please, I need help with how to proceed. I am shaken and devastated. I am seeing him in a totally new light.

Run. And run more.

I don’t want to be judgemental but why are you still with this man? You would be happier on your own I promise you. Your daughter is old enough you can go out and have a lovely social life, and it sounds amazing you go out for drinks together. You would have peace, freedom and the joy of ordering a take out and watching trash on tv whenever you feel like it.

Why do you stay with him if he’s abusive? No one should stay with an abusive partner.

If he's been like this for as long as you've been with him, why are you so surprised at his latest turn? It hasn't come out of the blue.

There is no "new light". He's been this way all along.

You're only 2 years into a relationship, and presumably have no ties to each other? Financial/home? By your post, you have no children together and you've said the relationship hasn't been plain sailing.

End the relationship. If you have zero ties to him, then you are in a perfect position to walk away from the relationship. Your partner is abusive towards you and has now shown his true thoughts regarding your adult daughter.

You are in a toxic and abusive relationship with a nasty man. Walk away.

Proceed by removing every part of the piece of shit from every part of your life…today, now.

Why are you putting up with this? 2 years. Cast him aside! He’s not worth it.

What is there to think about?

He is nasty abusive scum.
Could it be any clearer.

You end this now.
You never allow him near your daughter again.

He is filth.
Stay away from men.

You are clearly very vulnerable that this has been your relationship with him.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk and stay completely away from any man until you establish self respect and boundaries to protect yourself.

These things cannot be unsaid and given the lack of plain sailing I think this relationship has reached the end of the road.

I may be hard after 2 years to untangle yourself - after all there must have been some mutual attraction.

But it's easier to go after 2 years than patch up and then part after 3, 4 etc. Pull that plaster off.

Just dump him, he sounds like a right arsehole.

Why are you asking how to proceed? Surely it's obvious that you should end this relationship?

one question really
Why have you stayed so long?

The first 2 years of a relationship shojld be bliss with the odd blip. It should be the foundation for which you build on.

There's nothing here to build on. Why stay with someone who you say is abusive, there is no need for this post you are aware he is no good, you said that in the first couple of sentences. Just get rid!

theres nothing to discuss

you tell him to leave and you block him and move on with your life

if anyone ever spoke about my kid like that I’d never speak to them again

What on earth are you waiting for before dumping his sorry arse ? Waiting for it to turn physical ? Get him out of both of your lives you can do better

Why are you with this piece of shit?

He is testing the water. If you allow him to stay after him speaking of your lovely DD this way, he will become violent. This is absolutely a test. Get him out of your life, and your daughter’s life, immediately.

Just dump him however you can. Usually we see this aggressive Male behaviour gets worse. He does it because he can. If you let him continue there will be more and worse. perhaps direct to DD

There's nothing he can say to make what he said better now. He is disgusting.

i would tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out- dump him now.

Get rid immediately. All men like this need to die alone for judging women like this and perpetuating our sexual oppression.

Leave now. No good will come of this relationship

Anyone who says such vile things about your daughter should no longer be allowed in your house. Get well shot of this horrible bloke.

So much easier to dump if you don't live together. If you do whose house is it, can you move out quickly.