He brang my daughter's sex life in an argument - feel sick - what to do?? Handhold please

[SavageStoneAge]

Need to vent somewhere as can't talk to family and friends as it is so disturbing / disgusting.

I have been with "D"P for 2 years. It has not been plain sailing. He has been abusive to me, mostly verbal but really vicious things.

I said, in desperation really, that if DD (who's 23) told me her boyfriend treated her like he treats me I would tell her to end it. Because he just couldn't see how the latest thing he had said, to upset me, was so nasty.

He replied saying if "I had a son I would also tell him to get the fuck out [if son was treated badly by someone like me] but I would be a good father and not go out and get drunk with my son and let him fuck like rabbits with 2 or 3 men in a month. Thank God I will never be a father and I won't leave another monster behind 👹, who doesn't have a sense of reality 🥰🫶"

I just feel absolutely sick. It is true I have gone out with DD and had a few drinks. But she is 23!!!! And he knew she split up with her long-term high-school boyfriend, dated someone else, then ended up with her current partner, who's lovely. But what is freaking me out is the way he references my daughter "fucking like a rabbit". It's just so abhorrent to me. He's met her, and they've been cordial. And all the while he has been secretly judging her.

Also implicitly calling me a monster and saying I am leaving behind another one (IE, my DD).
I don't know what to do now. Every time I look at DD I feel sick thinking about what he has said about her. I had mentioned her relationship changes in passing because we are very close; but not in any detail.

Please, I need help with how to proceed. I am shaken and devastated. I am seeing him in a totally new light.

Usually the men that have a bug up their ass about sexual promiscuity/deviation are the very thing they claim to hate.

Please please please leave this abusive POS

I have done, I am now just stressing as to how to return his things to him. Is there any way of getting a post office worker to confirm what you are sending 🤔🤔🤔

I feel like I want to ensure that he can't try and prove it that I didn't post them back to him???

Agree. I don't think he is an especially promiscuous person however he is addicted to porn and had some weird fetishy behaviours.

Not your problem, OP. If whatever you’re sending is small, you can send it recorded delivery, so he has to sign for it. If not, get a receipt of postage and you can send him a photo of it in the event he complains he didn’t receive whatever it is.

You need, and I mean need, to not care. If you care, repeatedly tell yourself it’s not your problem. You should report him to the police anyway, you need to pre-empt mental and outrageous potential reactions from him. Send whatever it is signed for and leave it at that, if he refuses to sign and then doesn’t collect it then it just proves how obtuse and awful he is.

If it’s stuff that fits in a small enough box just post it, signed for, and that’s the end of that. Take a photo of the inside contents of the box - keep the photo just in case.

Either tracked or signed for post depends which is the cheapest. They will give you proof of postage.

yes this. I had to do this when a former tenant was making all sorts of outrageous claims about us not passing mail on. I would re-direct it, take it to the post office and take a photo of the worker behind the counter holding it up. They were quite used to it as I suspect tey have to do it quite alot.

I think you are very strong OP. And I am SO glad that fear of what he might do is not keeping you inside the relationship trying to placate him.

I’m sorry why hasn’t anyone picked up on the horror of the things he has videoed without your permission and the sexual abuse while you were asleep?!
OP that video is assault and you seriously need to consider going to the police about this, I am so horrified by what you have said, and you say there is more that you’re too embarrassed to share on here? Please OP go to the police this is horrendous, ask to speak to a female officer if it helps and please tell them the extent of the videos he has taken. He cannot get away with this. You deserve justice here.

OP, very gently, what are you waiting for here? Why would you want any of this in your life? He does not sound like he is adding joy to your world, he isn't your DD's father and you have no reason I can see to endure one more minute of this. Please choose your own happiness over this drama and misery.

The op has finished it

I totally agree