Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Thank you. I did think from the start it was too good to be true (hence me starting up a thread), BUT I got really confused when sex was already a given and be still persisted with the nonsensical waffling? Bloody mind games

Thanks all for the advice. Lesson learned. Anyone being too over the top ‘omg I can’t believe I’ve found YOU 😍’ may as well be taking 5 working days to reply to a message. Same bullshit ending.

I wasn't convinced about this guy, but the ghosting has surprised me. I thought he was going to continue the love bombing for a lot longer. I guess it's sort of good - you get to see the truth much earlier? clutches at straws.

The reality is that it was all too intense. And noe he's either gone for good or he's planning to reappear because he's boundary testing. Either way, your best bet is to move on.

Oh @Heyandheytoday I am so sorry, I could sense your hope and excitement through your posts. I have been in a similar situation, I wasn’t as excited as you but I was hopeful. Chalk this up to experience- you will no better for next time a sweet talker comes your way.

Sorry that’s happened OP. Those who ghost are really the lowest of the low, it’s really awful.

Whatever you do don't fall for the 'granny died / mum taken to hospital / urgent work trip / I was attacked by a bear' etc if he does rear his silly head again!

He did it for fun. It amused/excited him.

I guess you didn't ever find out what the amazing thing he wanted to tell you was - because there was no amazing thing?

Sounds more like he's switched to breadcrumbing rather than ghosting, since it's only been a day or so.

You should read up on psychopaths and people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

And you should block him. When he runs out of better options, or if he gets bored or horny, he might well get back in touch.

Just before I left on Monday, it’s like his whole demeanour just changed. Like a switch. Cold. But still smiling, I can’t really describe it

It’s like he took a few steps away from me. But still really polite. He then went onto say ‘so what is it your company you work for actually does? Can you describe it to me’ then it was ‘how old are your children again?’ When I answered he was like ‘oh, I suppose at least one can do something for herself’ and he looked really put out! He knew I had kids before we even met up for the first time

That’s what they do love bomb for sex then disappear. Think yourself you’re lucky he didn’t want to stick around he is probably the controlling type they usually are. Lucky escape op.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet from your updates. Nearly all of us have been involved with these weirdos. Just makes you more wary.

I dated a few strange men before I found dh. Just get out there and find a decent one who isn't full of shit. My ds2 is single and on dating sites but hasn't even dated anyone yet. He's 26 ,very tall dark and handsome and works. Everyone who meets him loves him. Whoever ends up with him has hit the jackpot. He just needs get started bless him. So there are good ones. Ds1 is spoken for but he met his gf on hinge.

Sorry to read your updates.

Ditto. What a complete loser he is.

Awe OP. I’m really sorry he did turn out to be a game playing, immature, feeble turd. I’m pretty sure he will message you for a booty call before long but I know you will have blocked him by then. Urgh.

Oh bless you, I am so sorry

Men are absolute arses , some of them are

Why do all that love bombing if he knew you were sure thing?

But better that you find out now and don’t get more involved and more upset

They will be a man somewhere out there, for you

Sorry to hear this op.

in a few weeks he will likely message with a tale of a dead grandma. Or Covid. Just ignore it.

You were hoping for the best but fearing it was too good to be true all along so he didn’t fool you. Don’t blame yourself at all. He is a loser and will end up sad and alone whereas you will find a decent man in the end 💐

Sorry OP, what an arse.

Enjoy the new bed and bedsheets, free of this loser!

Yeah the switch in behaviour says it all. Strange little man

Sorry @Heyandheytoday but it was inevitable. And you know (in your heart) that you invested far too much too soon.

I hope you've got some nice things to do, and friends to see, oer the next couple of days to ease the pain.

Lesson learned, I hope.

Sorry to read you updates OP, you have had a lucky escape seeing his true colours quickly! Just block him he sounds nasty and immature.

Honestly just think some people like playing games. So even if he knew he could just be upfront about his intentions he’s probably just used to doing the same act with everyone, or he enjoys thinking he’s tricked people.

So your date with him was yesterday? I'm not sure that counts as ghosting!

Now looking at it for what it was which was a low effort walking date and casual sex on two occasions you can see him for what he was.
I really hoped it was going to work out.

Aw so sorry. What a pathetic man. You're well rid. His loss. You'll find (much) better.
(Also I do wonder if he maybe does have a wife or partner in the background after all, who was herself away or whatever ?... the two cars on the driveway ?... the coming home early on Monday when originally it was due to be Wednesday - maybe that's when she's still expecting him back, gave him a slot of time to see you ? And then his demeanor changed .... ) . Either way, he's an immature waste of space and you'll be better off without him. Enjoy your new bed !

I knew it. Sorry OP, he's classic textbook. Hope you feel better soon.

Honestly it seems 9 out of every 10 men are like this. Met soooo many in my life.

I must admit that I was thinking - hold on, what day is it? Tuesday? But Monday, when you saw him, was yesterday??

Reading this has made me realise that yes, what a total arse. How dare he. He actually sounds quite unhinged.