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Original poster

Boyfriend can’t accept my past

528 replies

2026dreams · 04/10/2026 21:05

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

OP posts:
Original poster
2026dreams · 07/10/2026 09:38

I genuinely do appreciate the risks, I have no concerns in that respect

OP posts:
Itsthewoluff · 07/10/2026 09:43

He’s playing the long game and is thinking that giving you time will make you see sense. Otherwise he’d have already got his stuff back etc. If you continue not playing ball, he’ll try other tactics.

It’s easy to change the barrel in the lock and worth the small expense. It’s just not worth the risk however tiny you think it is. In his eyes it’s not over yet.

teaatdawn · 07/10/2026 09:45

Gross these ‘body count’ manboys are abusers in waiting.

Original poster
2026dreams · 07/10/2026 09:49

Maybe I should tell him the real number and he would be so horrified he might fuck off

OP posts:
LeebLeefuhLurve · 07/10/2026 09:56

2026dreams · 07/10/2026 09:49

Maybe I should tell him the real number and he would be so horrified he might fuck off

Or he could escalate his behaviour in ways you hadn't considered? Dangerous men like this don't react well to being toyed with or laughed at.

I'm not sure if you're relying on dark humour to cope, but I'm a bit worried that you seem breezy and so sure that you are not at risk from a man who has a fixation on the number of people you have slept with, and maybe doesn't appreciate that this is really over. I agree with PP that the locks need to be changed at a minimum.

Dery · 07/10/2026 10:00

It’s totally wrong to say that none of the women murdered by exes saw it coming. Plenty saw it coming, were terrified, sought police protection but did not get the protection they needed.

That said, @2026dreams - he’s obviously a pompous arsehole and generally no loss. If he has keys to your place, you should change your locks. It’s worth staying alert, particularly while you consolidate getting away from him as this is a particularly dangerous time with abusers.

WannaSweetie · 07/10/2026 10:02

2026dreams · 07/10/2026 09:49

Maybe I should tell him the real number and he would be so horrified he might fuck off

😆😆😆 love it
some blokes are weird. I briefly went out with a guy as an 18 year old, he happened to deliver a worktop to my house 40 years later & recognised me. He began messaging me (getting my details from the order) & after general chit chat asked me if way back then he’d been good in bed & satisfied me. Wtf 😆 go away

Polipocket60 · 07/10/2026 10:12

How long have you been dating? How old are you @2026dreams ?

He sounds controlling. Its ridiculous and none of his business. You need to leave him. Just block him do not even explain.

ReallyniceThanks · 07/10/2026 10:24

OffTheMap · 07/10/2026 09:28

Get the ‘stuff’ sorted out fast.
You don’t want it hanging over you, wondering when HE will make the arrangement. And sooner it is arranged and done, sooner you can block him.

He clearly thinks that he is the one who dumped you because you are a liar, a whore etc. He will use picking up his stuff as a way to make another attack on you to this effect, and probably expect you to beg to get back together.

I am not sure you have fully appreciated the characteristics of a controlling , emotionally abusive man, which he definitely is.

Suggest a time that he picks up his stuff and do not let him in the house. Engage in no back and forth about anything but when he will pick up.

Or maybe deliver to his doorstep at a time you know he will be in? Drop, send him a text saying his stuff is there, and block.

@2026dreams no wish to be alarmist but really you need to do this. Now. Anyone as daft as he is is totally unreliable and unstable.

BMW58 · 07/10/2026 11:23

Polipocket60 · 07/10/2026 10:12

How long have you been dating? How old are you @2026dreams ?

He sounds controlling. Its ridiculous and none of his business. You need to leave him. Just block him do not even explain.

Why didn't you read all the OP's posts before posting????????🙄

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 07/10/2026 11:25

Polipocket60 · 07/10/2026 10:12

How long have you been dating? How old are you @2026dreams ?

He sounds controlling. Its ridiculous and none of his business. You need to leave him. Just block him do not even explain.

You might want to read the thread.

blythet · 07/10/2026 11:34

This sounds scarily identical to one of my friends who left her DH last year. None of us had any idea this was going on but it had been since they got together over 15 years ago and had 3dc.

he used to keep her up at night and quiz or ex partners. She’d been honest about them all - she’s met him really young so there actually hadn’t been many before him. He then wanted specifics of which sexual acts she did with each and how many times. He’d wake her at 2am with a barrage of questions then accuse her of giving a slightly different answer to what she’s said the previous month. Prob because it was all 20 years ago!!
It then got to the stage he’s record voice notes of her answers so when he quizzed her next time he was able to ‘prove’ of her answers had changed.

turns out this was only the tip of the iceberg in terms of his controlling behaviour. He was in is 40s with a well respected career. Nobody had any idea

EBearhug · 07/10/2026 12:23

He then wanted specifics of which sexual acts she did with each and how many times.

It makes you wonder if some of them keep a spreadsheet or something, because what normal person would expect anyone to know that level of detail? If you have a really good night, you might not be sure of all the details the next day, let alone over 2 decades ago.

It's like they're ticking things off in the I-Spy Book of Sex...

OffTheMap · 07/10/2026 12:31

2026dreams · 07/10/2026 09:49

Maybe I should tell him the real number and he would be so horrified he might fuck off

No.

No further engagement with his abusive misogyny AT ALL.

ThatGoldScroller · 07/10/2026 12:47

A vote here for changing the locks also.

Zephyr888 · 07/10/2026 13:01

I made a post but it was flippant . I hadn't read the updates so edited it.
Hope all works out.

PleasantPedant · 07/10/2026 13:25

The body count is simple 'One too many'.

Original poster
2026dreams · 07/10/2026 13:52

Zephyr888 · 07/10/2026 13:01

I made a post but it was flippant . I hadn't read the updates so edited it.
Hope all works out.

Edited

No I liked the original

OP posts:
MintyBadgerPrincessCheese · 07/10/2026 15:50

He's ridiculous.

What a relief it must be not walking on eggshells the whole time.

Gobbledegoo · 07/10/2026 16:09

I tell him he was 20032, and all the others were better, even the 300 the day before yesterday!

Notonmyland · 07/10/2026 16:17

2026dreams · 05/10/2026 07:33

I can’t continue, he is also gets weird when I go out in the evening and accuses me of being with other men and said it’s my fault because of my past

So many red flags,.

Dump the twat now and live a better life.

He's showing you who he is, believe him.

fourcamels · 07/10/2026 16:22

I really think you should change your locks, or add a chain to your door, at least. It’s not normal to fixate on your partner’s sexual past and the fact that he keeps texting you shows he’s not letting it go.

Stay safe, OP. There are some really shitty humans out there.

Littlebitpsycho · 07/10/2026 18:41

Gobbledegoo · 07/10/2026 16:09

I tell him he was 20032, and all the others were better, even the 300 the day before yesterday!

🤣🤣🤣

TabardOfDoom · 08/10/2026 09:01

Could you not gather up his stuff and deliver it to him? Take control. While he has stuff at yours, he has a bit of control as he could turn up any time.

Elsvieta · 08/10/2026 10:53

RelocationsMayVary · 07/10/2026 08:15

You should be worried about your safety - emotional and physical.

None of the women murdered by their partner in the UK - literally every other day of the week - saw it coming - they were ‘normal’ angry men sparked into a fit of rage and retribution when their relationships broke down.

Beyond that this obsessive has keys to your property. The locks need changing at a minimum. Currently he doesn’t see it as over despite his taunting words - look at his actions he hasn’t arranged to return your keys and collect his stuff - he has only berated you twice - he still thinks he gets to verbally harass you and denigrate you into submission.

How are you feeling? Sad, angry, shocked, relieved, heartbroken, indifferent, scared?

Have you spoke to anyone about this IRL? Do you have support?

Show quote history

No, quite a lot of those women saw it coming - more often than not there's been a pattern of violence and threats leading up to it, often for years. Often the women have called the police repeatedly - often saying things like "one day he's going to kill me, if you don't stop him" and the like. The men who go direct from zero violence to murder are the rarities.