Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

But he hasn’t he is trying to provoke you into an interaction where he will have the opportunity to berate, humiliate, insult, punish and abuse you.#

Agree, he's lost the victim he was bullying and belittling and he won't like that one little bit.

@2026dreams please take the warning messages from other posters seriously. Sadly they either have experience themselves or have seen it happen to others. The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship (which you were, please make no mistake about that .. he may not have hit you but he was exerting his control) is when she tries to leave it.

Thank you he is incredibly pompous, I love that word

His daughter has a child so must have had sex. One can't help wondering if he would think it appropriate to interrogate his own dd about her 'body count'.

These pompous, insufferable, buffoons are hiding a very inflated but very fragile ego. Once that is exposed or under threat their volatility escalates. It will be intolerable to him that you are not playing ball.

Is he 15?
Bye bye

‘You haven’t sent the information over’?????

Who would put that in writing?

Ask the sad sack if he'd prefer the information in an excel spreadsheet or as power point slides.

What a fucking loser. Can you imagine ever wanting to have any contact again, sexual or otherwise, with such a snivelling, insecure, pathetic little worm.

Oh my!

What a buffoon

Remember, you havent complied so you cannot respond

Obedience in all things 😃

😂😂😂😂😂

Well he obviously was expecting you to come running back armed with all the “information” he’s requested. What a prize he must think he is. What a twerp.
Of course you’ve done the right thing. He would never stop using this info against you.

Stay Away from any man who behaves like this. It’s none of his business who or how many people you’ve been with. He sounds like a controlling nut job.

Please do be careful, I'd get a camera/CCTV set up. This trigger point is a dangerous one when it comes to leaving a relationship. Have a read of the 8 step timeline in DV murders. (I'm sorry I've copied this from my own previous posts, I think it's important women know about this research.)

https://www.dvact.org/post/do-you-know-the-8-step-timeline-in-domestic-abuse-homicides
Specifically this part:

"The eight steps that were identified to be present in almost all of the murders studied were:

1. A pre-relationship history of stalking or abuse by the perpetrator
2. The romance develops quickly into a serious relationship
3. The relationship becomes dominated by coercive control
4. A trigger threatens the perpetrator's control - for example, the relationship ends or the perpetrator gets into financial difficulty
5. Escalation - an increase in the intensity or frequency of the partner's control tactics, such as stalking or threatening suicide.
6. The perpetrator has a change in thinking - choosing to move on, either through revenge or by homicide
7. Planning - the perpetrator might buy weapons or seek opportunities to get the victim alone
8. Homicide - the perpetrator kills his or her partner and possibly hurts others such as the victim's children.

So agree with this.
Trying to torture you and punish you is who he is.

An insecure little nothing man.

He will hate you not explaining, defending and placating him.

This could well be a police reporting affair if he contacts you.

You will need to send one message first.

"We are over. Finished. Do not contact me again. I will contact the police if you do."

Once you send that, if he contacts you, it can be a police matter.

Thankfully I don’t feel worried about my safety from him,I haven’t heard from him and have just got on with my day
he will have to collect his things at some point and I will get my keys back
he can watch his Facebook reels in peace with no one to send them to

@2026dreams so he has a key?! Well in that case I would change the locks, bag/box up all his stuff and have it ready to drop off or leave on the doorstep at a prearranged time. Get his stuff away - but DEFINITELY change the locks asap!!

Take control of this process. Send one message saying “practicalities: I will pack up all your things and leave them ready for you to collect from my doorstep at 10am Saturday. Please put my keys through my letterbox “

do you have one or two keys to your front door? If two, change one of the locks.

You should be worried about your safety - emotional and physical.

None of the women murdered by their partner in the UK - literally every other day of the week - saw it coming - they were ‘normal’ angry men sparked into a fit of rage and retribution when their relationships broke down.

Beyond that this obsessive has keys to your property. The locks need changing at a minimum. Currently he doesn’t see it as over despite his taunting words - look at his actions he hasn’t arranged to return your keys and collect his stuff - he has only berated you twice - he still thinks he gets to verbally harass you and denigrate you into submission.

How are you feeling? Sad, angry, shocked, relieved, heartbroken, indifferent, scared?

Have you spoke to anyone about this IRL? Do you have support?

Change the locks @2026dreams and do it soon, even if he gives the keys back you don't know if he's made a copy. I don't want to make you paranoid but better safe than sorry, you don't want him entering your house while you're out

I’m not a particularly alarmist person, but I’d change the locks. It just saves any downside risk. He is most probably fine, but 5 pints of ‘woe is me’ beer and he could be a PITA.

Better to be ahead of the game.

He sounds like a manager, not a boyfriend

"Sorry hun, there are so many and I don't want to leave anyone out.'

Goodbye boyfriend!! Did he say why?! Sorry you’re having to deal with this

I m not worried about my safety, he hasn’t hadn’t stuff back as he has been away. He just thinks I will forgive him and it will be back to normal
I just feel done and indifferent and can’t wait till he is back and can collect

This.
Absolutely take control of it.
I would change the lock barrel if you can.
Best be safe.

Some men can react very strongly to being rejected.
He is unhinged in his quizzing of you.
Don't make the mistake of thinking this is normal healthy behaviour.

He's a creepy insecure freak.

Get the ‘stuff’ sorted out fast.
You don’t want it hanging over you, wondering when HE will make the arrangement. And sooner it is arranged and done, sooner you can block him.

He clearly thinks that he is the one who dumped you because you are a liar, a whore etc. He will use picking up his stuff as a way to make another attack on you to this effect, and probably expect you to beg to get back together.

I am not sure you have fully appreciated the characteristics of a controlling , emotionally abusive man, which he definitely is.

Suggest a time that he picks up his stuff and do not let him in the house. Engage in no back and forth about anything but when he will pick up.

Or maybe deliver to his doorstep at a time you know he will be in? Drop, send him a text saying his stuff is there, and block.