Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

Glad you dumped him x

Hilarious. He either thinks he has the upper hand and you are bluffing or either he is scrabbling to make YOU think he might have the upper hand.

what an utter plank

Be thankful the trash has taken itself out. What a wanker.

I think he isn’t used to me not trying to placate him

He needs to grow up, he actually has a daughter and a grandchild

As if you were going to call him 😁

If he wasn't so deluded (and dangerous) it would be funny. He's trying to imply that he has the upper hand and he's decided to dump you. I doubt you've seen the last of him, what a sad little man. I hope you block him and don't give him any way of contacting you.

He literally said unless I told him everyone I slept with and sexual history it was over
so I’m not sure what I would call to say

You are well rid of this crackpot. He sounds dangerous.

Perfect!

Now you can 'ghost' him knowing you are simply being an obedient little woman

Leave him to it.

There it is. I knew this wasn’t the first red flag in 3 years. Why would you be regularly placating him? Is he an angry little man who keeps everyone on eggshells and under his control with the threat of volatility?

This most recent behaviour is him just turning up the heat on you. These cznt are never satisfied with any level of control - it’s slow attrition and progressive.

You seriously need to consider your personal safety. Make it clear to him in one text that the relationship is over and you are not be contacted again. Alert your colleagues, friends, family and neighbours that he has been problematic. He could well be very dangerous. I suspect his ex wife was a ‘mad crazy bitch’ - I also wouldn’t hold his secrets - I would tell anyone who asked why this is over. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Keep safe.

I'd reply "Oh DO Fuck Off you tedious incel"

I'd be tempted to send him a list of 100 or so A-list movie stars, giving dates and places where you supposedly had wild sex with each of them!!! And then asking if he needed to know anything else, before demanding he give you the same sexual history and details of every encounter (including the place and the position adopted) he had with the supposedly handful of partners he's had. 😅

that's funny, he's reaching out to tell you he doesn't want contact

He'll be back

I have never heard of this in my life. How would this help prevent the spread of HIV more than safe sex and STI checks before unprotected sex?

Come on now

Well done op keep running!! X

Details as in names or details as in what you've experienced with others?

Has he shared his history with you?

I don't really understand when people ask this, if it's anything more than a number 🤷 Everyone has a history.

He shouldn't need all that detail. I understand having a general conversation, because I'd want to have that before I slept with someone I was planning to be in a long term relationship with, but I really just want to know if they've been with a lot of people, because I don't think I'd be comfortable with that. Might be that me and DH have only been together and so it means something to me if someone else has a much different history, but I wouldn't be pushing for details.

I know many here will think even that general indicator isn't my business but I feel like it is. I also think any man that would be right for me would be comfortable with a general chat on that and would hear from my side as well.

I don’t think you are really qualified to comment if you are happily married and only been with one person? Are you judgy about other things in life as well ?

I am indeed qualified to comment as I have an opinion on whether it is someone's business to know - and have given advice to friends who have a more extensive relationship history. I'm not judgey. It's just how life has worked out for me. There are plenty of people who would judge my suitability as a partner because they wouldn't be happy with my lack of experience.

He’ll use it as a problem in every argument you ever have and degrade you with it. I’ve never been honest with the exact number with my partner and neither has he me- it works well and we don’t care enough to know

OP, I’m late to this conversation but I had an ex like your partner. He wanted to know everything (every single detail) about my past sexual encounters and he cried and said he can’t bear the thought not knowing. It’s a type of OCD I think - in my case it was paired with narcissistic traits and physical and emotional abuse. It degraded my self esteem and took me years to leave. I’d run the opposite way if I encountered a man like this again.

Excellent! He's made it much easier, then.

You are judgy and rather insufferable at least own it

You clearly have a big chip on your shoulder. Maybe trouble accepting your own past? I don't care how many sexual partners you have had and, if you're comfortable with it, good on you. You don't have to be defensive of your choices any more than I have to be of mine. Your past doesn't affect me, so why would I judge? I don't care.