Partner going away with attractive 22 year old girl. Is it a bit weird or am I just being jealous/insecure.

[cheeseandhamtoastie42]

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

What’s also odd is that he goes away at the same times each year. There’s no plausible explanation for this ie. annual trade shows etc. I realised this the other day.

To the same place? Maybe there's a swingers convention or something 😂

Seriously you are being taken for a fool. You would be better off without all this cloak and Dagger bullshit. You can’t have a relationship with someone you don’t trust. I don’t know him and even I don’t trust him 😁

If his business isn't doing well, why is he employing a fresh graduate, who can't be offering the business much. Most new graduates need training

Why is he taking her with him? She won't be any good at all at winning business if she's new to the industry.

If he's going to work for a bit and then travel and do touristy things then he can send her home when the work is finished and do the touristy things alone (or ask you to join him for the fun bits)

No serious business with employees is based in someone's home. It is extremely dodgy to have an older male boss with a younger, inexperienced female employee working out of his house.

No serious business, let alone a struggling one, is funding its employees to go on 3 week, half business, half pleasure jaunts, long-haul or short-haul. If you're struggling you're going to be controlling costs very carefully

No UK based web design business needs to do foreign visits unless its clients are huge multinational companies, like Ford or Boeing. Even then, the visits would be a couple of days at the very most. No large client is contracting a guy who works out of his bedroom

LTB

Are these 'work trips' to popular tourist destinations or don't you even know where he goes?

Not being funny, but would an attractive 22 year old woman really be interested in a man twice her age?

DUMP!

He's been untrustworthy in the past etc.
Red flags flying high !!!!

"i think its just an excuse to get away."

In my 20+ years of business travel and away-from-home projects assignments, I am sorry to say that I have seen exactly that. An opportunity to get away. Could be to get away from anything.

I was thinking it might be drug related travel. Taking a female 'partner' is a useful front in this case.

Whether a Claires law application might reveal if he is a con artist?

There are huge HIV health emergencies in some of the sex tourist hot spots around the world.....please please protect yourself

He sounds creepy

This is beside the point, but you wrote at the beginning that the girl was attractive and then later wrote that you had never met her. What's up with that?

I’ve seen a pic (not from stalking) work/profile type thing related

I usually know the country but he’s vague with everything else

This is helpful to know thank you

God OP it must’ve been stressful to have to try and level his bullshit with your instinct all this time. You are going to feel so much better once you give up trying!

Thank goodness OP you are seeing the light.
You really deserve so much better.
Take space and time and pour your energy into yourself.

Start with the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

You are worth 10 of him on a bad day.
Take space and be kind to yourself, not any man.

He wants the stimulation of a change of scenery

Just popping back on this post in the hope you update us to say you’ve sacked him off x

Well be on your own then. Why on earth do you see being with this excuse for a partner as being better than being single??
And he’s clearly going on a 3 week holiday with his girlfriend.
Seriously, why accept this??

Is he a secret agent working for MI5 or something like that? It might explain the absences and the money...

no need for that sort of talk. she is going to dump him 🙄

He also has "a lot of failed past relationships and marriages behind him. I guess that should have been a red flag in itself. Oh and none of the break downs were his fault of course."

I'd hazard a guess that his leaving his job was under exactly the same circumstances that he left all his failed relationships and marriages. And that, once again, the break down really was his fault. It strikes me as exactly the sort of thing he would lie about, to maintain his fantasy of himself.

So many say they are going to do it. Sadly, very few actually do, which is heartbreaking.

Have a read back over your own descriptions of him - secretive, gaslighting…why would anyone want to be with someone like that?

Sorry OP. You deserve so so SO much better. I'm so glad to hear you're getting out of this x