Would you date someone who does not drive

[Dancemom1]

Would it put you off from dating someone if you found out they didn’t drive?
after a nice first date with a man (40)
i found out he didn’t drive.
i do drive myself and couldn’t be without my car as i have w busy life with kids.
he has no kids so its a bit different.
he also lives around a 20 min drive away.

I think it’s different for women ..

I think you have a bit of double standards going on here - you don’t really like driving - you don’t like driving on Motorways and you don’t like driving places you haven’t been before and you don’t want to drive for weekends away.

so if you were dating a man who was a driver- would you effectively relate yourself to a non driving person?

It's not you who claimed to have never been constrained by not driving and then admitted to quitting an instrument because of public transport being too hard to manage with it.

Therefore, it's not you I'm refuting that point to.

Those traits are sexy. They aren't innately masculine. The implication is incompetence, counter-intuitiveness, and loss of control are feminine. I dislike that implication intensely.

Is the bar really so low that a man having basic driving skills is now sexy?

Meh ! You know what I was getting at

Where I live you really need a car or at minimum ability to drive at40 it would put me off.
If I lived in central city it wouldn't put me off so long as he was self sufficient and got an Uber sometimes.

No. Because i don’t drive and needs the lifts.

Yes. I know lots of very decent, professional men who can’t drive.

Really?

I don’t know any, never have

Why ?
lots of the responses on this thread say that they would not date a man who doesn’t drive- so why should it be different for women- should men stop dating women who don’t drive?

No I wouldn’t. I live in a small village with rubbish public transport and I’m sure the novelty of being the one to drive would get dull pretty quickly.

Same. I don't know any successful professional men who can't drive either. One man I knew who had a degree and worked in London, had never passed his driving test because he didn't need to. Then when he moved to the shires (aged 31) after moving out of London with his girlfriend he met who lives in Cheshire, he started driving lessons within a few weeks of moving, and passed second time. Just 6 months after moving.

Dealbreaker for me. 100% no.

I think it’s societal. I know lots of women who don’t drive, or don’t do motorways etc

Not men

Yes. Im a non driver myself. Manage perfectly well without being able to drive so it would be hypocritical to turn down a man for the same reason.

I'm autistic. Never assume that I can understand a subtext.

Everyone knows that men and women look for different qualities in each other.

Men just aren’t bothered by this in a women
In most couples I know it’s the man that does the majority of the family driving /nearly always is the one who drives abroad/ usually has the bigger or more expensive car and organises MOTs /Services /repairs.

Nor me - only men I know are bums or stoners who got left behind peers decades ago and it shows in their everyday lives on other ways

Sorry but Ick !

No I wouldn’t

That’s just double standards of the highest order.- driving is pretty standard adult skill For everyone these days

The male CEO of the company I work for can’t drive, its a large finance based company, one of the guys I play rugby with is a consultant cardiologist, he can’t drive. My husbands a senior reinsurance pricing actuary, can’t drive.

I am in a newish relationship with a guy who doesn’t drive, it wouldn’t occur to me to extrapolate from that that he’s lazy/not a fully formed adult or any of the other frankly bizarre judgements a large number of posters have made. I’m laughing at the notion of men being conferred some kind of sexy manly status because they learnt to drive a car 🤣

I do agree though from a purely practical standpoint it depends where you live and what life stage you are at. He lives and works in London and my kids are grown up so transport isn’t a dominant factor for us.

I cannot imagine a life where I didn’t drive. It must be so restrictive.

maybe it’s different in London but here there is no option to just hop on a bus.

today I’m going to meet my friend for a dog walk at a stately home 15 mins drive away. no way of getting their otherwise. My daughter has a football match 45 mins drive away and then a birthday party 20 mins in other direction. I guess we could scrounge lifts all the time, and the football team do car share (we’re taking 3 today) but it wouldn’t feel right to never be in a position to offer or be self sufficient.

so no. I wouldn’t date a man who couldn’t drive. I don’t have time to add giving him lifts to my load - I’d want someone who shares the load