The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@empirebiscuits12 nice work on Mr Tux.

I love the idea of Stumpy being turned to chippings!

I'm so sorry your ex did that to you - how cruel. I've missed the window now anyway so the card won't go 😁

He was quick to unmatch you! Are you okay about it?

I have one questionable one on the go 😂

I also had the strangest match ever today, started enthusiastically asked for a call this evening then said it would never work because I won’t change my childcare schedule and we live a bit far apart. But I’m relieved because I wasn’t feeling it during the call and wanted to hang up 😂

Guys are so weird

Thanks @Nosdacariad it was like a proper belly punch when I realised he’d blocked me. Together almost a year and dumped by text message. I should really have known better after that behaviour but at least now I know I can’t put myself in that position again.

Glad the post window has lapsed!

What a shit! A year together!

Mr Tennis messaged to say can he see m esooner than in 12 days.

That's proper pursuit behaviour (if he takes no that is). I approve.

I can't anyway.

Bullet dodged! I love when they tell on themselves early.

Ooh I quite like Mr Tennis so far x

I wasn't sure what next weekend means....to some it means the next weekend coming which to me is This Weekend, and to others it means the next weekend After this weekend! Amyway, glad to hear he's showing keen. Do you play tennis?!?!
I usually say, for example, 'Friday week'..to mean a week from this coming Friday, and my kids look at me like I've had a stroke 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thankfully that fella took himself out before you had to meet him! Is the other one questionable cos you think you'd really like him but know he isn't good for you? Or cos you don't think you'd actually like him?

I'm fine about Mr 🇮🇹. Just it's always nice to have a bit of anticipation. Sometimes I think I've learned so much from all my work & therapy in my 8 years single, and then other times....like when I say I don't want him but I'll be kinda pissed off if he doesn't message saying he wants me...I feel like I'm Girl, Interrupted, from when I met my exH at 19 🙃

Mr Tennis sounds decent and points for demonstrating keenness! I'm in the same situation with Mr Unphotogenic, who turned out to be much better-looking than his worst photograph😂is fit, has an interesting job, good relationship with his ex-wife and shares custody of his kids. We also have several activities in common.

Unfortunately as usual I don't think I'm going to fancy him. We are going on a second date though so hoping we can cultivate a spark...

I think we all feel like Girl Interrupted sometimes so don’t worry! Have you got anyone else you are chatting to at the moment?

Mine is questionable because he’s a Fun Bobby, make me laugh and very flirty but I can’t see it going anywhere so we will see

Is part of the lack of attraction the niceness?

It's not all of it, Mr Tennis is very thin and has a quite high pitched voice which doesn't do it for me.

High pitched like David Beckham or worse?

I think partly the niceness, but more the fact we didn't really gel. He also had a weird laugh.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC not as high as David Beckham 😁

@Chocolatefreak makes sense.

Anyone else find it weird seeing people you've dated on apps?

I've seen 4

Mr X claims to be driven and ambitious
Beered rants about "too much slap"
Planes' is complete poetic fantasy talking about a house he doesn't have
Mr Sparx neglects to mention he's a racist homophobe...

@Nosdacariad I've seen a couple and yes once you know them the things they say are even more cringeworthy. One was resolutely still insisting he was 5 years younger than his Bumble age. Another was wearing tiny red speedos and talking about 'encounters' of many different kinds. Hilarious but also yuck.

@Chocolatefreak ewww red speedos!

@MsJinks hope you're hanging in there.

Okay girls - i know i am being precious. A guy on hinge has asked for my number - wants to send me photos of himself on WhatsApp - at this time, its nudes right?

He only has one photo but is very complimentary...

😩🙈 ive answered my own question

Your choice but I say I'll swap numbers if we meet.

An early push back is a good test of respect for your boundaries.

If guys lead with anything sexual I block. Again, your choice.

Why can't he put the pics on his profile???

I never do numbers until meeting but I will swap just before meeting for logistics.

Part of this is as I like the longer messages in the dating site and don’t want these to be reduced to another set of ‘I’ve just had crunchy nut cornflakes’ 🙈

When I swapped before yes the first one was a dick pic - I’m so stupid I had to enlarge it to be sure lol! Block works though.

Stumpy gave his number after a few messages as we couldn’t share photos but I ignored that and didn’t use it or give mine until we’d set up to meet. Despite some serious failings of the guy I think he’d not have sent revolting pictures just normal ones.

Some don’t like that you won’t move to WhatsApp but that’s a flag itself imo.

Learning curve but mainly remember you are the orize.

@empirebiscuits12 - I’m sorry about ex continuing, I presume, his wank ways. I get the feeling when stuff like this happens and it’s rubbish 💐 but all it actually shows is you have a nice, human heart and he has not. Though yes I’m very careful of putting myself in the position where I could be receiving a gut punch in reply - hence my moderate texting to Stumpy maybe haha!

I also like the wood chipper idea very much lol - where to hire one 🤔

@CountBoscoTheSecondsWife - I get the Girl Interrupted bit - I’ve had time single etc and this time on OLD I’ve been so different- strict on boundaries etc, though easier as I wasn’t that fussed tbh. Different with Stumpy around my messaging, acceptance of dates etc - no mad investigation- so that worked really well haha! But hey I won’t dump first which I guess is in case and I’ll be gutted if he doesn’t want to see me whilst I pretend it’s easier, better and I’m so done!

@AlwaysCarrieSATC- glad that trash took itself out! Fun Bobby - love the expression- I’m very keen on fun guys - have to say not always been the best choice lol - it overrides a lot for me and I miss the communist bunting ha - not all will have this bunting of course though, enjoy the flirting!

@Chocolatefreak- glad Mr Unphotogenic looked better than a toad - 2nd date the kiss might work to upgrade to a Prince? Though if something grated - laugh oh dear - it can grate more and more. I can be very unreasonable in things that put me off - shame I got none with stumpy - who wears really bizarre clothes and has some baffling ways - I didn’t care and found it endearing - ffs - wish body and brain worked better together!

@Nosdacariad- advantage Mr Tennis for the pursuit? Fault for the voice. I hope the date goes well though - he sounds a good one and that’d be great - brain/body as above though - sigh

Stumpy update - back to warm enough messaging as I may have already said - sick of the going over it and can’t stop. At a distance I’m finding his ways and that irritating- trying to push them into icks lol but brain-body- heart is not in sync yet I think! Saw normal guys who wore normal clothes and didn’t say weird stuff all about themselves at my meeting - not like that obviously - trying to think well jeez what were you thinking Jinks but mostly I’m cross with me that he occupies my head so much rent free whilst he’s jollying and I get a 5 minute thought! Sigh!

@MsJinks you have such a way with words (and tennis terminology).

Hang in there and I hope the horrid limbo is helping you to process.

Placemarking. Have desperately been trying to keep up! Things going well with Mr Spanner. We’ve been having an absolute blast. Lots of fun and laughter. We had our first row. Not shouting. Communicated and resolved and the make up sex was mind blowing. He’s meeting my kids in a couple of weeks. (Early 20’s). That will be interesting. Now ideally I’d be divorced now. But I’m on my way to my FDR. Spanner’s been amazing about it but hate that leaking into our relationship and have told him that. Just hoping after today everything’s agreed and pretty much done and dusted.

FDR?

Great update and so glad he's popping your cork 😁🥂🍾

Does anyone ever read other threads on MN from someone with a dating dilemma and think “oh honey, get over to our thread”? I’ve recommended in the past but they’ve never taken me up on it x