The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Thank you and thank you... Yes you're right, hate the waste of chemistry, but in this age of so much technology/ways to connect, there's really no excuse for that behaviour...deep gospel sigh.

I've been really poorly - nothing deadly serious though, just this horrible virus that is going round. And then I went to the theatre with DD and her dad, and he took us for dim sum afterwards and I had to spend several hours moping self-indulgently about what a fool I had been to break up with him just because he shags everything that stays still long enough .... It honestly isn't attraction to him tho, or not really it's about family time - because we have such nice times as a three when we do these little outings and things I have this silly unrealistic chocoate-box image of what family life could have been like, and it breaks my heart every time......

Yes I have had this. Bumble does do this from time to time, but it's REALLY bad at the moment. I'm the same with the uninstalling/reinstalling which tends to help, but it's exceptionally glitchy this time round. I've currently uninstalled for that reason plus a little time out (see above for details!). I hope they're working on it...

💐oh Lurchers - I get that, it is so sad some days 💐

Be kind to you - fingers crossed Mr Cricket hits a few straight 6s out the park soon xxx

God I really hope so. I hope the sex is fucking wild and I absolutely can't get enough of it and think about it all the time ..... Because pretty much everything else about the guy is perfect. Every time I describe him to friends and family - especially his values and his politics - everyone says "Oh he sounds perfect for you". He really is, in so many ways ......

In fact, if I could put his mind into my FWB's body, I would marry him tomorrow......

Thanks for sharing about Mr Law. How long ago was that? It's so exciting when you can see all that delicious potential, chemistry and compatibility and then suddenly tumbleweed...

I'm a longtime single who has had a lot of life to work through and am just re-entering the fray. He could be a good candidate to get me back on the horse again... I will weigh up the consensus here and check in with my gut instincts before I let the hammer drop...

Sprinkling fairy dust over this for you to make it come true - pun intended! 😈😉

@Ilovelurchers - thank you. Maybe me and Chatgpt could have a think about my non negotiables. I think being able to disagree without it being an argument would be one.

I have been super busy at work today, bit also - to avoid obsession - am not letting myself go on the apps during work hours. I also dont want to lose the whole evening to it, so i think I'll set aside an hour or so later and see what's what.
Certainly more exciting than all the laundry I otherwise need to be doing...

😆😆😆

Yup. Hope it's not crickets.

😂😂 that made me chuckle.

Havent been on here for awhile. Mr smith was fading me out last week and no effort to see me again but was still saying things like “we should spend a weekend together watching the Harry Potter films” but wouldn’t commit to a 2nd date. Make it make sense. Anyway, I messaged him to say let’s leave it if we aren’t going to meet up again.

Had date 4 with mr runner yesterday and we dtd. Honestly it wasn’t amazing and I came away with the ick a bit. I feel awful. I also know he’s seeing other people - which he’s entitled to do - but I just feel icky. He’s super keen and messaging me with even more enthusiasm. I feel like I have been conditioned to expect men to lose interest after sex and it never occurred to me that it would happen the other way around. I am seeing him again on Wednesday. Part of me thinks I am so used to being on my own I can’t stand it when someone is interested. Ugh.

Its one thing of the sex doesn't bloe your socks off the first time. It happens. But leaving you with the ick?
Cut your losses.

So Mr TS blew my socks off day 1 and since - that is no recommendation for a great relationship lol

Usually it takes more than once but as @ThreeMogsAndCountingsays the ‘ick’ well that’s just no good - there’ll be better out there. It happened to me just once ick after sex with a date and I just couldn’t see him again - ever lol - I’m actually pulling my ick face typing this and it was 20 years ago lol.

You are the prize and you’ll find your prince.

Haha - not wanting to do ironing got me looking at the OLD lol. I found non negotiables at that point quite easy but I wasn’t that fussed about dating - lots of swipe left or deletes, even maintained early doors dating - now I got in a mess too late haha so it’s a really good idea of Lurcher’s to set this sort of thing up.

Well ChatGPT and I have agreed my five non negotiable elements.

I have to admit, I do find 'her' entertaining. She's calling the irons 'tiny men' and telling me to put them back in their box.

I sniggered at 'stop browsing the tiny men'.

Now watching red dwarf with DD and various cats. If i had some cake I would be a very happy woman...

Lol at Chat but well done.

I’ve gone onto chat - Gemini is too wild lol but she says some hard hitting truths.

Apparently most AI are build to resolve conflict but Gemini built to be your cheerleader and say it how it is.

Gemini is my angry drunk feminist friend, who doesn't think any man is even close to good enough for me, and salutes every crazy thing I ever do..... I love her, she is so empowering, but I'm not sure she's always good for me.....

ChatGPT I think of as a man, and I find him to fair - I want him to be on my side more!

I feel like this says more about me than them! 🤣

Ive set my GPT uo to be a tough talking best friend. One of my favourite things she did was roast one of my ex's every time he did something stupid. I would paste the email or the action in and ask her to roast him and omg, I laughed until it hurt. Very good way to reduce the sting.

So, I have done a potentially crazy thing tonight - I have invited FWB over for a (possible) farewell visit - as I am aware that if things between Cricket and I move forwards FWB and I are going to have to drastically cool our friendship..... (And the Benefits will have to cease altogether of course)

The man looks EVEN better than last time - he is on a bit of a health kick, and is losing weight. I liked him with slight dad-bod but he is even more crazily hot without it.

But we aren't each others' people. We tried it - it was a disaster - we just don't work as a couple. I have to make my peace with that...

I feel like I am tormenting myself a bit at the moment, but maybe there is method in my madness? If I decide to pursue things with Cricket, I want to be clear it's a positive choice. I want to be honest with myself about what I am giving up, if that makes sense?

Yeah, poat-sec ick is a bad sign. Can you pinpoint it - was it something he said or did?. Or more about you and how you feel about him? (Not suggesting you answer that out loud, unless you want to - but it's something to consider).

Technical difficulties can be ironed out, or they sometimes heal themselves. But it's different if it's inherent to how you feel about him, if that makes sense?

(Don't listen to me though,- my decision making regarding men is pitifully bad).

Hello I’m brand new to this thread, but wanted to join as I’ve just started dating (well literally been on 2 dates with same guy) and I’m shocking at dating - in the sense that I get the ick from majority of men! But when I like someone I over invest and o want to use this thread as a way of avoiding any over investing :)

Wow so much to catch up on! And welcome to all the new posters….such a lovely and supportive bunch here, you’ll get great advice 🤍

@MsJinks well done for calling Mr TS out! Did you ask about his supposed solo holidays? Or were you just so over the arguing before raising it?

@Nosdacariad hope your date with Mr Tennis was everything you hoped for! Excited to hear about this 🥰

@BoxOfCats Mr Bay sounds lovely, although pity about the distance. I know you’re not in the UK, but 2 hours away when in a small place like the UK feels like a galaxy away. I’ve noticed that in larger countries like the US longer distances don’t seem like such an obstacle. (I know you’re not US either, but is 2 hours a deal breaker for you?)

@ThreeMogsAndCounting I ventured onto OLD when I still had feelings for my ex however I knew it was 100% over between us. When I first went back online I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. Now, I would like something meaningful and exclusive but without massive commitment such as living together. That may change in the future. I guess what I’m saying is it would probably be unfair to be OLD and “advertising” as looking for something serious if there’s a chance you may get back with your ex. I hope that makes sense? Just be true to yourself while also being transparent with others and you’ll be grand 🤍

@Chocolatefreak I’m laughing at the name Mr Unphotogenic 😂 I get what you mean about the spark though or lack of. I’ve ended things quickly for the same reason.

@OriginalSkang yes I had the same issue with Bumble over the weekend although haven’t been on today. So frustrating!

@Shibiscus OLD is very frustrating and confusing. And it’s a total rollercoaster. One minute things are going great and the next it’s like a cold fish. Or the opposite….slow and boring messages which suddenly ramp up! Mr Stage sounds flaky….id bin that one off personally.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC hope your date with Fun Bobby was fun indeed! Looking forward to hearing all about it!

@Ilovelurchers sounds like sex is on the cards with Mr Cricket. Hope it’s everything you hope it will be! I really miss sex. And cuddles, just lying in someone’s arms. I’m really craving meaningful physical intimacy.

@cadburyegg I’ve often found when I get the ick, that’s the end of things and no going back 🙁 saying that, sex the first time with someone new is rarely mind blowing and it can take a few times to find that groove, if you will. It’s interesting what you say about being conditioned that men lose interest after sex. As an aside, do you think it’s the over keenness that may be causing the ick? Clingy men are a turn off for me.

Evening all. Tennis was fun. Kissing needs work 😁

My own update……I was scrolling through my likes online and someone caught my eye. I’ll call him Mr Handy. Been messaging for a couple of days now and physically…..😍 He seems nice enough although the chat is still very much at the polite “getting to know you” phase. This is as exciting as things get for me at the moment!

Ooooh kissing! He can be trained 😁🤩