The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Re meeting in wild - once (and once only mind lol) a guy going into a bar in town as I was leaving stopped me and picked me up and half swung me round saying I was absolutely gorgeous and he wanted to take me out - it felt so romantic tbh - we did swap numbers, go out and it was meh but I did like the approach lol - beer helped and I don’t think a B and Q aisle might work as well lol- please note this was also many, many moons ago ha!

The worst!
I have two and they're awful for different reasons 😏

Solidarity, sister.

Thank you all for being so kind with my stupidity with Mr TS - I’m trying to do it differently as in no stalking or screaming as both make me feel like shite - so much long experience ha! But just putting my chin high and walking hasn’t made it to the my do it differently list to date - I so want to know - when I know I both know enough and won’t know more.
@Ilovelurchers- indeed I’ve experienced players before but Mr TS comes over so differently even when I ask, and with what I might view as common signs - it’s near impossible to imagine him running two like this - but yes I know it’s easy to miss with some.
@MrFlintstone- that analogy of neutral is very good - exactly right - which of itself is a bit of an issue - I’ve not dated as such for so long I’ve not been sure what to expect - probably should have expected a binfire but hey Ho!
@empirebiscuits12- yes I want actual evidence - foolish but there still - hopefully I’ll morph into a woman who doesn’t need that to walk away ha confident of her own value apparently lol!
@Reginablitzing- my tolerance is varying now and I’m expecting a tipping point soon enough
@AlwaysCarrieSATC- please don’t admire it lol - I’m just still cringing from previous stalks and screams and didn’t want any more cringe in my life to recall in my care home haha - maybe can’t be as arsed at 60 too idk - this way idk - no cringe but overthinking and wondering - probably sane outcome as other ways to be fair
@Nosdacariad- tree crash? Fall? Sad there’s so many planes around wrecking the environment 👀

@MsJinks as someone else suggested he'll be chippings if he hurts you xxx

@MsJinks haha yes, we’ll collectively put him in the woodchipper. Or hope he’s reincarnated to toilet paper or something if he hurts you! We’ve got your back!

Mr Tree bog roll. There's a threat!

Haha oh I do love a nerdy man! Maybe that’s where I need to start hanging out too!
Board game meetups also seem to attract nerd types…

@MsJinks I think the metaphor of him still being in neutral is spot on. It reads like he is behaving as if he wants a casual relationship but trying to give you the impression there is potential for more. The Tuesday thing would have me feeling suspicious and anxious. I wish people would just be more straight up about what they want from seeing someone. Personally I don’t mind if someone says they want casual, so long as they’re clear about it and their behaviour is consistent with that. I think that’s what did my head in with Mr Nomad in the end - he said he wanted casual but when he took me to meet his mum it was a step too far!

Is it only me that finds dating means meeting people who are great in one way but not others? Like I dated one guy who was so kind, great cook, just nice. But no chemistry and a bit clueless with affection.

then the guys with the great dates, flowers, meals etc etc seem to be intense then flake.

Fun Bobby is great chemistry but I’m still not feeling like it would go anywhere, definite bachelor pad and seems pretty happy with his life 🤷‍♀️

Yes, the challenge is certainly not to get too attached. I think that’s why I keep pushing myself to try and date other people - so I avoid getting too attached - but then what actually happens is that I end up feeling a bit “meh” about anyone new I meet.

I was feeling unenthusiastic about Mr Acrobat’s suggestion to meet for some acro-yoga. He asked if I would like to meet for brunch this weekend and I realised I’m still feeling unenthusiastic about OLD so I will not be going.

On meeting people in the wild - at the end of next week I’m off on holiday to the Sunshine Coast in Australia with my best friend (also single). Here’s hoping I’ll meet a cute Australian surfer type with abs of steel 😄

@BoxOfCats here's hoping for Mr Abs the surfer. Have a fabulous holiday!

@AlwaysCarrieSATC maybe the ones with no chemistry are the ones with long term potential?

This was me with my equivalent of your Mr C, so I ended it and it didn't fix the issue. Was still meh about everyone. Decided I was fine alone, and then he reconnected with me and this week I found myself agreeing to resuming things. So I actually have no idea what the answers are. 😅

I have just decided I genuinely do like my life alone and if I see him occasionally, what's not to like? My intellect agrees, my emotions do something else.

I hope that works out. At leaat you'll get some sex...unlike me 😭

I doubt it will work out but hopefully there will be fun along the way.

You will get sex soon, just make sure he deserves it.

LOL so far I've not done too well with either man deserving it 😭😂

I saw a Singles board game meet up advertised locally a couple of months ago - I didn't go at the time as my confidence was lower - I would definitely go if I saw another one! Though currently have paused dating explorations with others due to things going well with Mr Cricket. This is going against my own advice - I normally encourage people to keep looking (if they feel comfortable doing so) until things are agreed as exclusive.

But I just don't feel the impetus currently. Maybe my feelings and hopes for Cricket are stronger than I think ....

I really empathise with this.

With the help or AI I devised 4 core criteria (my four "pillars" of dating compatibility) and try to be strict about only father guys who have promise in all four areas.....

It is not "stupidity" and you don't need to thank us! The heart wants what the heart wants. We have all been there, lovely - I have broken my own heart over much less promising men than Tree Stump....

@BoxOfCats oh I forgot about Mr Nomad taking you to meet his mum! That was all a bit strange. Definitely best cancelling Mr Acrobat if you’re not feeling it. You’re in a great part of the world for meeting men in the wild. I’m in Scotland and we certainly don’t have beach weather very often! And a lot of the outdoor pursuits are super active ones, which just isn’t me.

@Ilovelurchers pausing OLD or at least stopping swiping is a fantastic development, I’m really excited for you! Mr Cricket sounds lovely ☺️

Last night I let Mr Tux know that I’m just not feeling it and brought our chat to an end. It had turned into polite chit chat after starting so promising. He’d also asked if I wanted to go to his for a drink. We hadn’t met yet and I was certainly not going to his place for a first date. Very low effort plus no insight into how a woman views this from a safety perspective.

@empirebiscuits12 I can’t believe he invited you to his for a first date. He either has no critical thinking skills or he was after one thing and chancing it!

@empirebiscuits12 good choice. Mr Welldressedbutclueless!

Morning all. Currently having a bit of a sob about feeling overwhelmed and wishing i had a teammate to just...take up some of the slack while I get my breath back after a tough week, you know?

Not sure about B&Q, tesco is rather more urgent. You never know, I suppose it could be love in the frozen fish aisle instead of lawnmowers.

This is bananas to me. Do you think there are women who would actually do this? It seems so risky!
He seems like an utter plonker.

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