The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@Summertime2012 I’m not surprised you’re confused!! If it were me then I’d match his energy. He seems to have pulled back therefore so should you, on the surface at least. I know you’ll be in turmoil inside.

When I first got back into OLD I didn’t have the balls to stand up for myself and I missed lots of things which the lovely ladies (and one man!) on here picked up on instantly. I’m so much wiser to things now and can spot the signs quicker, although I’m still on here for advice constantly!

Best advice I can give is to keep checking in here and telling us what he’s saying and we’ll try help decipher things with you. You deserve more than what he’s giving currently

Sadly I think this may be your answer. Sounds like he’s not man enough to be straight with you and is hiding behind his busy life.

@empirebiscuits12thank you do much for the emotional support, I felt I have been losing my mind since I met him. It's because I did feel I connected with him on so many different levels, we even work in the same field. He has three kids and is very hands on, which I value too, but I do think too that he could have clarified if he would like to meet again. We had a short exchange about our daily life but nothing about meeting up again, he left my final text today unread, which I guess doesn't help. I assume I need to wait now to see if he texts me back at some point and I shouldn't start again the conversation. I don't want to put pressure on him but I would like to know at least if he is not interested at all in me now.

Yes, I am afraid this may be the case unfortunately. I had assumed that he is decent and was hoping he would at least tell me if it's going nowhere.

@MsJinks I’m so sorry to hear this situation with Mr Tree has not resolved itself yet. What do you plan to do from here? Will you speak to him about it?

So men seem to just want casual relationships whether they say that’s the case or not. I remember when I first started OLD a couple of years ago, it was a real shock to the system!

I have my first date with Mr Shore tonight, meeting at a bar for a drink. And I’m chatting with a new iron, Mr Acrobat, who has invited me to an beginner acro-yoga class on Monday (as he’d mentioned it as a hobby in his profile and I asked some questions about it). I’m unsure whether or not to say yes - it’s certainly the most unusual first date suggestion I’ve encountered!

@BoxOfCats good work! Why not!!

@Summertime2012 chalk this one to experience, read the opening post and have a look at Kate Taylor's reels.

We're here for you 😘

This is all very exciting! I would say "yea" to the avro-yoga if I were you, out of sheer curiosity if nothing else. I love a quirky date. And who knows, even if you don't take to him, you may get a new hobby out of it!

Honestly lovely, I would stop worrying so much about his feelings ("putting pressure") on him etc - I don't think he deserves this! He doesn't seem to be very worried about your feelings, after all.....

And it's very unlikely that anything you say at this point will put him off. I think we women are conditioned to feel we have to tiptoe around men's feelings, for fear of putting pressure on them, coming across as 'needy" etc. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with having needs and expressing them! You are looking to date - you like him and need to know if he is available and interested in dating, or whether you should move on. That's p erectly valid and reasonable! As long as you don't message him declaring undying love and proposing marriage (which I am surebyou weren't planning) - why shouldn't you ask him where you stand? Your time is important - you need to know.

He sounds quite confused himself - maybe he doesn't really know what he wants? As he is certainly giving mixed feelings.

Sorry, sent too soon. I meant to say, I think he may be confused and not know what he wants, and sadly I think that is a real red flag - if he is already causing this level of confusion and distress, then he is not what you need.

When you meet a man who is worthy of you you will feel confident and sure of his feelings towards you.

I totally get that it's hard, when you feel a strong attraction and connection. I think we have all been there! And it's easy for me to give advice from the outside, but if I was in your position I am sure I would be stressing out like mad, and doing all kinds of crazy things!

I’m so sorry that this is your first OLD dating experience. The PPs have nailed it all - you don’t deserve to feel like this and he is being a coward.

Don’t worry too much about double texting, that’s a silly rule made up by some silly person!

Maybe tomorrow send him a message asking for a bit of clarity? We’ll help you with a concise message. At this point you need to know whether to keep investing time and headspace into this situation. Hope you manage to get some restful sleep tonight my love 🤍

This is certainly unusual but sounds like fun! A great way to connect and will open up lots of conversation afterwards 😃

Hope your date tonight goes well too!

Hot Physio hasn’t replied to my message last night asking for clarity on our own situation, so I’ll take no response as a response!

Mr Tux has been messaging again today but things seem to have cooled after a few days of not messaging each other, which is fine.

No other irons for me at the moment but I’m okay with that. I’ve been going at it since April and a bit of a natural break is actually welcomed. I’m not going to be swiping but if someone swipes right on me and they take my fancy then I’ll see what happens. I’m quite happy to sit back for a little while and have a breather ☺️

@empirebiscuits12 Thank you! A shame about Hot Physio, but as you say, no response is a response in itself

How good is your core strength?

I have none so I’d decline. Dd used to do it.

Boo to hot physio. Sometimes I think they expect us to not make any demands on them and be patient but it’s so frustrating waiting.

Having said that I don’t want to move fast but I do like consistency. Not hot / cold.

Core strength is extremely good thanks to several Pilates classes a week!

I’m at a very busy bar waiting for Mr Shore who is 15 mins late so far. He had messaged a few hours ago asking to meet earlier so he’s now sending me apologetic messages from his Uber…

Oh I like this date idea of you’re up for it! I like someone to break up the usual drink/ coffee/ walk first date !

@BoxOfCats I'll be interested to know if he was worth the wait.

Guys are so rude and gutless if he wasn’t wanting something all he has to do is say. I think they get scared of hard conversations

Hope you are alright x

He was attractive, quite extroverted and chatty. Seemed perfectly pleasant. I just didn’t feel any chemistry, more of a personality fit than anything.

Work colleague Mr Social and I have become friends now it’s clear neither of us are interested in pursuing anything. So I’ve been messaging him updates all evening 😂

Will you see him again?

No probably not.

I think I’m secretly still hoping Mr Charismatic will want a relationship but also don’t want to admit that this is probably never going to happen 😢

In that case go for it!
sounds like fun.