The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Well, I'm blaming my post on this thread for my algorithm changing, but it did throw up this beautiful piece of writing about dating men who have only recently come out of a marriage.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ddek20ske-H/?stkn=dWpmYW45aGswYXA2

Very weird Fun Bobby update incoming … we met today again as a last minute lunch and he was telling me about how he doesn’t like the apps because people date others etc and you feel like an option.I said I only date one at a time and he said so does he and that’s how he would like us to play things.

He then told me waaaay too much detail about some initial hook ups he had straight after his divorce.

And don’t judge me but we slept together the on our last date 🫣

He mentioned something about not liking cooking when I asked if he liked it and after the lunch I looked at his profile to see what it said because I thought cooking was one of his interests. But then I noticed his location had changed to a village near here so he had been on straight after lunch. I didn’t mention it but dropped him a quick message to say hey just checking when you say you don’t want us to date others do you want us to match and chat with other people I have no preference either way at this stage. He replied straight away saying no. Then nothing since, total silence, he’s usually chatty on and off all day.
Now he’s taken his location off so it doesn’t show on the app. Thoughts?

I was in a meeting with our Northern Ireland Dept today whose leader made a joke out of us not being allowed to mention rapid fire questions...

Lob the gob = snog??

Fun Bobby deserves his name and that was projection. He is dating others.

He may also be weirdly controlling.

More Kontrolling Ken?

@ThreeMogsAndCounting Welcome!

@Ilovelurchers how are you?

Hmm, not sure about this.

I think there are good reasons he could have gone on again, for example just to send some polite "not for me right now" messages to anyone he has been chatting to? If the two of you have now agreed exclusivity? Or he may have gone on to check details of your profile, for example, or get a picture of you to send to his sister or his mom or something if he is close to them when excited about dating you?

I don't think I fully follow - has he definitely deliberately changed something about his settings? Or has it just changed because he has been on?

Going forward, if you can tell when he has been on you could monitor that - but of course he could be doing the same to you.....

Actually I've just reread it and worked out he has removed his location, which DOES sound dodgy, and like he doesn't want you to be able to check up on him

That's a shame. How do you feel about him? Is the chemistry strong? And other things?

I hope the sex was as fun as his name suggests - and zero judgement here! I would love to be having more sex at the moment - I am just not really feeling it for some reason.

He’s changed the settings so his location no longer shows

Which app is this? If it’s Bumble then I think it only updates location if you’ve opened the app very recently.

i do think it’s dodgy. Should I just leave the silence or send a message?

On a related note, I had an exchange with Mr Cricket last night where I feel like sex was hinted at..... We have agreed to meet on Wednesday. He said he should come somewhere local to me this time. I suggested a pub, and said I would invite him over for dinner soon but not this time (I said I needed to tidy up the flat first, which is also true - but I feel like having him over would signal sex and I don't feel quite ready for that yet).

He said I didn't need to tidy the flat on his account, but I insisted and he accepted. So I don't think he has done much wrong here? But I think I am right to think he is thinking about moving things on to the next level? What do you guys think? X

It is Bumble. He’s completely removed his location and I haven’t heard from him for the rest of the day when usually he would message.

@Ilovelurchers I don’t think he’s done anything work either but yes I’d say he’s lining things up so there’s a possibility he can stay over. I also don’t think that’s wrong either, but if it’s making you feel uncomfortable perhaps you should say something.

Hi lovelies, I’ve been a bit MIA lately but thank you for your lovely messages. @Nosdacariad I’m on the app and I can’t private message on here 🙁

Id cancelled my date with Mr Tux on Sunday because I had a lot going on, and he’s given me space since then. Or he’s moved on, I don’t know. We haven’t messaged each other. I may message him again but I’m not sure. (How confused am I??! 😂)

Hot Physio - he’s still really hard to work out but tbh I still don’t think he’s interested. We continued sending messages over the weekend. He didn’t respond when I upped the flirt factor and he didn’t reply to my last message on Sunday. So last night I sent a quick message and he replied straight away telling me about his day and that he was getting ready for bed. I sent him a reply so not much more I can do. Should I just leave this and allocate it to the dump/time waster pile? I’m actually really embarrassed about this whole situation and feeling like he might have been interested when it’s obvious it was just a friendly catch up he was looking for.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC the fact he has taken his location off would plant a seed of doubt in my mind and it would gnaw away at me until infinity. This is the point where a man is given a certain level of trust and it’s up to him to grow that with you, not chip away at it. In relation to sleeping with him…. I slept with my ex first date 😁 And this round of OLD I slept with a guy on 2nd date. There’s zero judgement here from anyone lovely.

@Ilovelurchers hmmm yes I think he is looking to move things to the next level. From what you’ve said about Cricket I like him but he was either incredibly thick to miss your hint of the flat needing tidied or he was trying to push your boundaries until you pushed back harder (good for you!). Maybe worth a watching.

Quick question about Tinder…..does the distance from a person change only if they have been on the app? Or does it just change automatically depending on where you are? TIA x

I still like the sound of Mr Cricket. All seems quite normal and respectful! X

I don't see that as a strong signal but I also only joined the dots after the fact when beered answered the door in a towel.

It changes depending on where you are x

@empirebiscuits12 though I think only if passport mode is on.

Ugh. Hot Physio replied to my message (24hrs later) and it was just so meh.

I replied to his question, added in a little bit of chat and then just told him that this was the most friend-zone chat I’d had online and that I was confused! I said it had been nice chatting to him and catching up, and goodnight.

This has been a bit of a head fuck of an episode. I think mainly because I had such a crush on him a couple of years ago and I guess I couldn’t believe my luck that he’d liked my profile. But there has been zero interest from him, he’s been like a cold fish in his messages. Pleasant but more heat in an ice lolly. I think I’ve given it a fair effort but I’m done now 😂

Hope everyone has had a good evening ☺️

That’s v disappointing.

@empirebiscuits12 that is disappointing!

Any more irons?

When you snooze Bumble, it disables the location, even for current matches. I think! Check though.

@empirebiscuits12 that’s all a bit annoying, why like your profile in the first place.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC I never went on Bumble and don’t know what you mean about locations but you don’t sound very happy, hope you work it out

@Ilovelurchers have a nice time tonight

Well Mr Chef has a viral infection so I didn’t have my Tuesday night. Of course I’m sorry he’s ill but the timing is so annoying. We said goodbye on the train last Thursday and I deliberately didn’t send him a kind of debrief/ I loved all that time we had together message because I wanted to see if we would initiate something along those lines. Instead the thoughtless creature gets ill and barely messages at all. I’m off work on annual leave atm so very chilled and didn’t really mind last night but I do sometimes think fate doesn’t like my relationship.

@Nosdacariad I think I still have Mr Tux. Sent him a quick message last night thanking him for giving me some space to sort things out at home, so we’ll see if he picks up where we left off.

How’s things going with you? 🙂