The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

It’s off putting because I usually steer clear of any negativity in a dating profile at all. But then on the other hand I think the intent of it is that he wanted to convey he’s a straight up person and values that in others. So I’m on the fence.

Chat so far seems fine so I think I’ll go ahead with the date and then make a judgement call. I’ve suggested a wine bar in the city for Thursday evening, he said he was also free Friday night but I think Thursday being a “school night” feels less pressured.

Yes it does. I’ve been checking the next sale.

I think it’s the same as those that put no drama. They’re definitely bringing the drama.

@Reginablitzing Yep this was 100% my concern….!

The no drama ones I avoid
the straight talking statements I give a chance to.

@BoxOfCats I echo this. I think I'd give it a chance, he'll soon show himself upon meeting if he's red flaggy...

Bit late to the party on this but I followed the compliments chat earlier on in the thread and it made me think..
At the time I thought hmmm I don't think Mr Smile does this very much either...
However, this week he has redeemed himself , and today as soon as I turned up at his he told me I looked nice & again later he was throwing compliments my way. It made me realise how much I do like to have them!

I think I'm quickly falling for him... it worries me & makes me really happy in equal measure eek

Yes I figured it would probably reveal itself quite early too!

I posted him on our local “Are we dating the same guy” Facebook page. So far two women have responded saying they’ve met him previously and he’s a nice guy but full on / ADHD vibes. So I’m not sure what to expect now but I guess I’ll find out!

So second date with Fun Bobby was interesting, less than two hours and a drink with a walk. Much less flirty and affectionate than the first date and he seemed a bit guarded. He told me a little about his breakup with his wife. And that was okay but a bit flat.

I was convinced he had lost interest but as soon as I got home he messaged saying he had a lovely time and hoped I knew his past was in his past and that I wasn’t put off.

Im very confused

Confused is not good.

Was Fun Bobby an act and he's really Flat Frank?

Or Notoverthe Missus Norman?

Was a third date discussed?

Flat Frank 😂 I like that one

i honestly don’t know what it is. A third date was discussed but plans not confirmed. I don’t like this because I never know whether to see how it goes or write it off.

He has sent a couple of general messages today

I know this stage and I've no idea what goes through their minds. If anything.

See how it goes. Dont push for a date. See what other fish/ there are you distract yourself. I know easier said than done.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC Interesting. In what way did he seem guarded? It sounds like he shared quite a bit about his past?

You are quite right, and I need to keep reminding myself of this. X

I'm with you - generally any kind of negativity on a profile puts me off, but this one sounds quite measured, so I wouldn't see it as a red flag as such. Maybe a pink one - just keep it in mind and if his behaviour also seems negative/like he dislikes women/feels we owe him dates and our time..... Then that's the time to slide him gently binwards, as our dear @Nosdacariadwould say!

I have a small number of date outfits (my daughter helped me pick them). There are a couple of dresses, and also a pair of wide legged dark trousers with a fee different sparkly/dressy tops.

I tend to dress up rather than down for dates - it tends to give me confidence ......

His body language was very different and he seemed in a rush to end the date. I think maybe he shared more than he wanted to (none of it was bad just normal breakup stuff) we’ve messaged a bit tonight and he’s asked to see me next week, I honestly think guys are weirder than women 😂

They definitely are

Missed reading here the last couple of days and have some catching up to do.
I spent today 'breaking up' with my man friend with the bad teeth who I had no attraction to whatsoever and who I desperately didn't want to kiss me. I sent a well composed and clear message, he asked to meet to discuss, I agreed as we'd had today for a meet in the diary since last week anyway (and it was beside M&S that I wanted to go to!). I laid out my position again: no romantic interest on my behalf. He laid out his again: would love us to be a thing. I Very narrowly missed him lobbing the gob on me (is that another Irish phrase, lob the gob? Pretty self explanatory at least). He has since left me 6 podcasts re-setting out his position 😭
As I just said to my sister, he's like the IRA who "haven't gone away you know" 💀.... that's not a great comparison 😭 My sis said he was like piles 🤣
Anyway hope everyone well and only good news to catch up on. Chat soon lovely ladies 😊

So.
I was on here about 7 years ago and not entirely sure I'm ready to be back so I'm kind of toe dipping by introducing myself, but im not actually back on the apps. Don't know if I'm ready to be. Don't know if i ever will, just know i don't want to be single forever either.

Welcome. I’m relatively new too. I was originally on thread 26 about ten years ago. . Did you meet someone OLD previously?

im in a similar situation. I just chatting until feel ready to meet.

A French guy's profile (travel mode 🙄), to the bumble prompt 'Win me over by...'
Answers with: "Humour, especially when you're the punchline".
Wtaf??

Yes. Met on bumble just before covid. The biggest love of my life thus far. We moved in together, got engaged then it all crashed and burned and I was more broken by it than the end of my 15 year marriage.
I miss having a partner to do life with. I miss having someone who feels like home and I really really miss the sex 😏

That was my reading of your date tbh. That he was quieter because he was nervous about opening up. But the fact that he wanted to, and that he was worried about how it would land are signs that he is definitely interested, in my opinion.

You have now seen two sides to his character, so it will be interesting for you to use this third date to really work out if you like him.