Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

[Annabel20]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else?
You answered your own question. He's lying to you about loving you, that's why he can do this to you. He doesn't love or care about you.

I'm not sure I believe he's changed out of the blue overnight, there must have been signs over a period of time that showed he'd checked out of the marriage. Either way, all you can do is to focus on yourself and your daughters to get to a better place without him. It'll be hard at first, but it'll get better.

Are you in touch with other members of his family OP? I would be sending him messages via them, no holds barred, that way they know exactly what sort of a person he is to not even keep communication open with the person left parenting his children.

You urgently need to see a solicitor, OP, so that you can sort out the pracand financial aspects.

He’s saying he loves you to keep you hanging and get what he wants. He needs to support you financially, not your father.

You have one bargaining chip left, I think, and that is his reputation. Tell him to engage in a divorce process in good faith or you will go to the press. At this time of year they are desperate for stories. In fact, you could even set up a pressure group for a fair deal for spouses whose partners move money abroad, and offer yourself up as a media case study on an ongoing basis.

Keep your powder dry on this, though, as it’s the nuclear option. See a solicitor first.

He won’t support his own children but he expects your father to support you and by extension his children. Enraging.

He must be absolutely sociopathic to do this to you and his own children - he has £millions and yet still sells the house, dishonestly tricking you into moving into rented, thus meaning you have no housing security. Then takes all the money and puts it offshore.
He couldn't even leave you the house to live in, or at least half the proceeds, to house his own DC?!!
He's a multi-millionaire property developer, but can't pay CM??
I don't even have the vocabulary to describe men like this.

It’s fairly clear that he is a cold hearted psychopath and he’s left to take the millions for himself and start a new life with it. He
at it may not have another woman in the wings - it’s moot. He’s a cunt. She’s well rid of him. She needs to get legal advice and quickly to freeze accounts and do whatever it takes to get what she deserves from the marriage to this motherfucker.

Ha. I’d be contacting CMS asap and making sure this selfish sack of shit is financially contributing towards the children at a bare minimum. He has responsibility. If your family help you out financially or any other way, then great, but that is a bonus, not an instead of this prick being a father.

I know you’re heartbroken and I completely understand, but you need to get angry and channel it into making sure your kids are as ok as they can be.

Psychopath sums it up nicely. Or alternatively - cunt.

Im furious on behalf of her and DC. I hope she gets a ferocious lawyer and a judge hauls him over to coals. He should be prison for this. But sadly he’ll probably get away with it.

So sorry this has happened to you 😞Sounds like he is moving fast, you need to move faster, get some advice from a solicitor ASAP. You don't deserve this but you are going to be so much stronger for it, you can do this. Your children will have so much respect for you, they will have none for him. This is his loss, not yours. One day he will massively regret what he's done, but that will be his problem, not yours. Sending you so much love, strength and hugs 🤗 stay strong ❤️

Yes CMS and collection function so he can’t mess around. He probably pays himself the minimum like my ex and keeps the rest in the business. My ex pays half what he should as a result.

So many men get away without paying towards the upkeep of their kids. The laws need to be tighter. There should be name and shame functions.

Second this. Get his accounts frozen his accounts if you can and report to police for fraud. Push hard to get immediate action from solicitors and from police. I would think time is of the essence.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.

Yes - we need a financial equivalent of Claire's Law for men who dodge their responsibilities.

OP fight. Fight. Fight. For you and the kids.

But keep it to certain hours a week. Once you have done the key bits - lawyer. CMS. Filed for divorce.

The rest of the time treat yourself like a fucking Queen. Be your own best friend. Do whatever feels good. Try and create time just for you - to cry, scream and do nice things. Self care is going to be as essential as breathing air.

Find ways of venting the anger. On car journeys when I’m alone I talk as if my ex is there and I say exactly what I’d like to. No one can hear. It helps me to stay calm and measured the rest of the time.

If he had just fell out of love with you then, he wouldn't have mentioned wanting to date other people.... ive fell out of love and it's taken me ages to get over the other person even though it was.my decision (ex of 10 years - met very young)
The grass is never greener, its green when you arrive and then the weeds start growing and you start to realize it was just a fantasy and your old grass was much better for you....
I know its hard and I know it burns but, let him. Get everything you are entitled to and that includes CM, i mean how old are your children? The fact he has blocked you speaks volumes about him when you have children with him!

I am so sorry, he sounds like an absolute 🔔end!!! Luckily you are married so he doesn’t get to get away with this! Speak to a solicitor asap to start divorce proceedings so that you can prevent him stealing your money! He has been planning this for some time, why else would you move the money out of the country. Flag to the solicitor what he’s done and find evidence of the house sale and how you know the money has been moved etc. they can apply to the family court to freeze assets if necessary.

There will be a time to grieve OP, but right now you have to put that aside and start thinking tactically. See a solicitor and start the divorce and make a claim to the CMS . Those two things will protect you long term .

from anyone of us on MN who have gone through this - they usually have someone else and will treat you terribly until they realise the grass isn’t greener and they want back in and they start blaming you for the whole mess.
do not take him back. You will get through this. Sending hugs .

Stop posting on Mumsnet and get on the phone to the police and a lawyer ffs! Move now! He’s stolen from you and your kids, dawdling will cost you everything.

It literally makes no difference on the legal side if he has or hasn't

Don't waste time on this. Focus on the stuff like protecting your financial interests

Hope you have managed to find a good solicitor. It might also be worth contacting a domestic abuse agency. Emptying the bank accounts and pissing off abroad is economic abuse. A domestic abuse agency can signpost you to other areas of help and support you through the tough battle you have ahead of you.

I am sorry you married such a knobhead. I married one too. Although it is hard, we shouldn't beat ourselves about it. Expecting people to be honest and treat you with respect is not a bad way to be.

Good luck OP.

Oh my gosh, I was going to call him a BUM. But it’s worse, he makes money and has decided not to support his kids. That’s straight up sadistic.

Get a claim in for child support asap.

And btw don’t be surprised if he tries to come back after whatever new floozy he is chasing doesn’t work out. Don’t take him back. He is vile and he doesn’t love his own kids let alone you.

This isn’t a man thing by the way, it’s a psycho thing.

Im sorry you are going through this op. I hope his kids work out what a loser he is sooner rather than later so he can’t mess with their heads their whole lives too. Don’t try to soothe them with that “daddy loves them” stuff because - it’s not true. Tell them you don’t know what’s going through his head atm. It’s ok to say you don’t know. It’s ok to say he’s being stupid and - that his behaviour is very wrong. Kids deserves some semblance of the truth so that they don’t think it’s ok for men to behave this way. Sure, sugar coat it a little, but don’t lie to them any more than you have to.

Tell everyone else in your life too so that he can’t twist the narrative down the line.

Men don't leave without a back up.
He has a longstanding mistress.
Trust me.

That’s awful. I cannot believe he has done this to you and his children! Does he not want to see them again?! Not ever?! What a bad man. He is despicable. I’d tell your father and ask for help. You need to divorce him and be prepared to never be contacted again. What a silly man to lose his children like this! I can just imagine him trying to meet them as adults and acting like nothing has happened! What a silly man. I wish you all the best and hope that you can move on with your life, you deserve someone better. Next time get a property in your name only so you are protected, and never add anyone to the deeds. I would even avoid another marriage as I’d want the home to always be mine.

What a nerve to think he can palm off his financial responsibilities to your father! If I was you I’d spend some money on a decent private investigator. It sounds like he has had this planned for while. Also go to a solicitor and get things in motion so he is made financially responsible.
Read The Script and prepare for the other woman . I’m pretty sure she will be there and probably younger.